#3. John Hammond's Character in Jurassic Park Was Supposed to Be Evil
Early on in Jurassic Park, the beta test of DinoLand goes wrong right off the bat when the group encounters a sick triceratops lying on its side in pain. They also discover a mountain of triceratops poop, which one of the scientists starts rummaging through, immediately creating three brand new fetishes.
Pictured: an early script reading of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
Obviously this scene was meant to cleverly foreshadow that things are about to go to shit for the tour, which they quickly do with the storm and the escaped tyrannosaurus ... because if not, then what the hell was the point of showing us prehistoric scat play?
The Missing Scenes:
The sick triceratops was actually meant to kick off a nerdy mystery subplot about what was really causing the tri-horn's sickness, ultimately ending with Dr. Grant confronting John Hammond about it:
GRANT: You created mutant forms that you further mutated to create amusement attractions. You made biological puppets with heartbeats and an early death sentence.
HAMMOND: I created genetic miracles!
Your parents had this same conversation, verbatim, about you.
In other words, it was the doctor's way of saying that the kindly, naive creator of the park was a mad scientist. According to Michael Crichton's script, Grant was meant to figure out that the park's scientists were never able to fully separate the dinosaurs' genes from the mosquitoes they found them in, forcing them to create bizarre mosquito-dinosaur mutants that they later supplemented with frog DNA. This gave them some ... things that definitely looked like dinosaurs but had an extremely short life expectancy due to the sausage-esque approach to their genetic makeup.
In short, every dinosaur on Isla Nublar was cursed with a fatal case of mayfly syndrome by Hammond, all for the entertainment of humans and triceratops-poop-high stacks of cash, which would have turned the movie into a reptile version of Blade Runner with the T. rex playing the role of Roy Batty.
"All those moments will be lost in time ... like jeeps ... in rain ..."
#2. There Were Aliens in Dr. Strangelove
Dr. Strangelove is so many things: a black comedy, a political satire, a comment on nuclear proliferation, and one of the earliest instances of Kubrick's bathroom fetish. But do you see the word "aliens" anywhere in there? No? That's because you aren't looking at the early drafts of the script.
The Missing Scenes:
Submitted for your consideration, the original opening of Dr. Strangelove:
MAIN TITLE CARD - A WEIRD, HYDRA-HEADED, FURRY CREATURE SNARLS AT CAMERA
"NARDAC BLEFESCU PRESENTS"
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
MACRO - GALAXY - METEOR PICTURE
OOOK ... Who the hell is Nardac Blefescu? And what's this "weird, hydra-headed, furry creature" we meet?
According to notes, Kubrick's plan was to force-feed Peter Sellers enough random drugs to make him grow another head.
And the last time we checked, "MGM" didn't stand for "Macro-Galaxy-Meteor." Did Dr. Strangelove's marketing campaign plan to create buzz around the movie by having The Twilight Zone sue them or something? Seriously, keep reading the script and tell us you can't hear Rod Serling reciting it:
MUSIC - WEIRD, EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, ELECTRONIC SOUNDS
NARRATOR: The bizarre and often amusing pages which make up this odd story were discovered at the bottom of a deep crevice in the Great Northern Desert by members of our Earth Probe, Nimbus-II.
Our story begins sometime during the latter half of Earth's so-called Twentieth Century. Simple nuclear weapons had been invented, but used only twice to finish the so-called Second World War ...
Ah, so everyone in the mines at the end of the movie died. Typical Hollywood ending.
So, yeah, Dr. Strangelove was pretty much supposed to be a found-footage movie broadcast by alien visitors. We wish they'd kept it in, just to see how many people would have walked out of the theater the moment the furry aliens showed up, thinking they'd accidentally bought a ticket to the wrong movie.
#1. The Wizard of Oz Was Almost Completely Different
The Wizard of Oz is so old and iconic, it's impossible to imagine that it could have been any different. Also, the whole thing is so bizarre and surreal that you just assume that the madman who came up with the story was dictating exactly what the voices in his head told him. But the reality is that it was like any other big-budget Hollywood blockbuster: It went through lots of notes, rewrites, and last-minute changes before the cameras rolled, some of which would have resulted in a film that bears no resemblance to the classic you know and love.
Changes proved necessary following legal action from the real-life Lollipop Guild.
The Missing Scenes:
The first full treatment of the movie came from screenwriter Noel Langley and contained lots of little bits that never made it into the finished film. For example, Langley wanted the Wizard to be revealed as a fraud early on in the story and travel with Dorothy for a bit. He also threw in a scene where Auntie Em wanted to get rid of Toto, which raised serious questions about Dorothy wanting to return to her Kansas home.
"We're not in Kansas anymore" = "Shit, guess I'm stuck with you for now."
But maybe the weirdest sequence penned by Langley concerned the Cowardly Lion. The way Langley originally wrote the character, the Lion was a cursed prince named Florizel who had been magically turned into a lion and only joined Dorothy's party to free his lost love, Sylvia, from the Wicked Witch.
So in Langley's script, Florizel and Sylvia get together and his curse is broken thanks to the power of love, right? Not exactly. Florizel had to fight and defeat an actual, live lion to free himself from the curse, which would have been a great addition for everyone who thought the film had too much family fun and not enough boss battles. There was also that one bit where Florizel kills the Wicked Witch (or, in later rewrites, a dragon) in a midair duel.
They couldn't even wait to finish filming before scripting the gritty reboot.
As you've probably guessed, all of that was eventually thrown out in favor of a plot that was closer to the books and that Langley considered "so cutesy and oozy that I could have vomited." In fact, after finally seeing the movie and realizing what the studio had done to his script, Langley admitted to breaking down and crying like a baby.
"Nobody's going to pay to see this turd!"
Ryan Menezes is a writer and layout editor here at Cracked. He broke down and made a Twitter page just for his Cracked fans. Please follow Jacopo on Twitter and check out this slick website for his upcoming novel, THE GREAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN POCKET WATCH CONSPIRACY.
Want to know more interesting tidbits about famous movies? Check out 30 Mind-Blowing (True) Facts about Famous Movie Scenes and 36 Plot Holes You Never Noticed in Famous Movie Scenes.
Related Reading: Some deleted scenes would've utterly ruined the movie; like Schwarzenegger as a kooky Southern Sergeant. A few deleted scenes are just absurd, like that giant octopus attack in The Goonies. Oh, and the biggest plot hole in Independence Day was also explained in a deleted scene.