The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In
Look, we're idiots: None of us knows what, exactly, goes into city planning, but we assume it's probably a lot of distinguished gentlemen emailing each other about math, statistics and blueprints. But somewhere along the line, somebody accidentally CC'ed the insane asylum, and we wound up with the following civilizations that simply should not be:
#6. Neft Dashlari: A Hacked Together City in the Middle of the Sea
Via Back in 1945, the USSR discovered oil just off the coast of Azerbaijan. The problem was that, at the time, no one had ever built an offshore oil rig before, so if they wanted to tap that ocean-bottom booty, they had to figure out how to do it from scratch. Not to be deterred by minor considerations such as reason, the USSR went ahead and built a massive multiplatform oil rig right out there in the middle of the ocean. When even more oil was discovered right next door, they didn't bother with a whole new platform; they just retired a boat, bolted it to the existing platform and started working on it. The Russians continued in this fashion until they wound up with Oily Rocks, a gargantuan city of oil workers, with over 120 miles worth of road built into the middle of the Caspian Sea.
Via Skyscraper.talkwhat.com
"If you find yourself plummeting into the sea, you've gone too far."
Five thousand people live and work on Neft Dashlari, right there in the face of logic and Poseidon alike. But don't go thinking it's all bleak and inhospitable: Neft Dashlari is most of the way to a real city. Its features include electric power stations, a library, apartment buildings up to nine stories high, hostels for visitors/guests, hospitals, Palaces of Culture, bakeries and even lemonade workshops (leave it to the Soviets to append "workshop" to something as innocuous as "lemonade.")
Via Skyscraper.talkwhat.com
They went a little crazy on the swimming pool, though.
But if there's one thing the Soviets weren't exactly known for, it was the reliability of their engineering; they always did prefer to glue things together with a combination of balls and aggressive optimism. As such, Neft Dashlari is now falling apart. Roughly 75 percent of it has rusted away, but the local citizens aren't leaving, because there's still enough oil to keep that bad boy running for another 30 years, or until the Splicers revolt. Whichever comes first.
Via Skyscraper.talkwhat.com
Our guess? The founder of PayPal turns it into libertarian fantasy island.
#5. Manshiyat Naser
Via Manshiyat Naser is a city with zero unemployment, extremely cheap housing and a populace that mostly describe themselves as "happy." Here's a picture of our idyllic little hamlet:
Via Persurfer.blogspot.com
We're waiting for the '80s sitcom style "Our parents will be home in 10 minutes" cleaning montage.
No, that's not an "after" shot in an apocalyptic montage: That's how the city always looks. Because it's an entire society based solely around trash. Manshiyat Naser is located right next to Cairo, one of the largest cities on the continent, and Manshiyat Naser is where Cairo dumps all of its garbage.
Via Ilya Stepanov/Caters
"Literal mountains of filth? You shouldn't have!"
The citizens of Manshiyat Naser aren't just incredibly forgiving neighbors: They make their living off of the refuse. They collect it from Cairo, sort it and recover all the valuables for themselves -- from scrap metal to spare electronics. Though the city isn't exactly a utopia (it has no running water, inherent infrastructure or electricity), it's not just a bunch of hobos squatting, either: There are several permanent shops, streets and apartment buildings.
That's right: It's an entire society based on dumpster diving.
Via Ilya Stepanov/Caters
Great, now we have the Sanford and Son theme stuck in our heads.
#4. Miyake-jima: Killer Japanese Island Is One Big Creepy Human Experiment
Via Miyake-jima is a small island off the coast of Japan practically untouched by tourists, despite the fact that it's only a few miles away from one of the densest populations in the world.
But that's probably only because the whole thing is nature's chemical weapons factory. Psh, some tourists are just pussies.
Via Doaaraku.com
Pink Floyd fans just got one massive, collective boner.
Miyake-jima is located at the base of an active volcano, but their chief concern isn't explosions, or lava, but the sulfuric gas that "frequently reaches lethal levels." And yes, people still live there full time, even during those times when you can't breathe the air. It's a requirement that all citizens carry a gas mask with them at all times, since at any time, sirens may set off all across the island indicating fatal gas concentrations.
Via Doaaraku.com
"Do you take this man to brrmfm rrrfrrmmm-mm brrm?"
So why do people still live there?
For science!
Or, more accurately:
For money! That science pays to them!
The Japanese government gives each resident a yearly paycheck just for existing where they shouldn't exist, in order to test the effects of constant sulfuric gas exposure on a stable population. So hey, if you love money and Japan, but hate breathing, feel free to check out the study for yourself here.
Via Wikipedia
"No, that's close enough. We'll take your word for it that there's a city in there."
Are you my mummy?
ReplyThat Kowloon City thing is amazing! Reality really fires up the imagination sometimes. I know it probably wasn't as mysterious and fantastical as it sounds, but I can't help feeling I would really like to visit that place, maybe spend some time there as well. It would be like visiting a place straight out of a (futuristic?) novel.
Replyi love the kowloon story. that's completely badass. i'm not even a libertarian but i'd love to see a social experiment like that!
ReplyGarbage Dreams (2009) is a beautiful documentary about Garbage City that I highly recommend; it has forever changed the way I understand "trash."
ReplyI've been to Garbage City in Cairo quite a few times. Just thought you should know that it's not outside the city- but more like a 10 minute drive to Tarir Square. Oh, it's also one of the few Christian areas in Cairo, has lovely church built into the mountain, and some of the best views of Cairo.
ReplyThe Yellow Fleet reminds me of the quarians from Mass Effect, living their lives on a massive fleet of spacecraft.
Replythat kowloon seems pretty sweet. sorry i missed out on it.
ReplyI was just about to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job, and head straight for that beautiful lawless walled city. I had already envisioned a life of leveling up every three or so days, committing both unspeakable and benevolent acts as I deemed fit. Walking around 24/7 in body armor and heavily armed with two hydrocephalic bodyguards. Then you pulled my fantasy down and left me sobbing on the train to work. I plan on taking this out on the first co-worker that says "Pretty cold out huh?" Impaling him/her with a monitor. Damn you Cracked.
Replyliar, you don't have a girlfriend
AS A PINK FLOYD AND NASUM FAN I GOT TWO SUPERMASSIVE HARDONS DON'T ASK ME HOW.
Replycall me ;)
Happy New Year!!
ReplyI'm a 29 years old girl, sweet, friendly, honest and caring, but still single ...now i am seeking a lover who can give me a real love, So I jioned in the --casualloving' C óM-- with the name Elaine. It’s the best club for casual encounters or NSA relationship, safe and private. More than 160000 members enjoy this website with real photos and profiles..Well, you do not have to be lonely , you can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.
It's such a touching story that I'm currently masturbating and crying at the same time to it.
Dwarf City gives me hope that Willow and Mad Martigan DO exist and that i'm not crazy...
ReplyI can't be the only one to see #6 and think "Sea Britain!"
ReplyHooooow about....Wall City in Miyake-jima with Dwarves?!?!
ReplyFloating on a giant oil rig made of impounded trade vessels.
It's not very often that I come across an article where every entry is something I've never, ever heard of before. This article did that. Bravo!
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesStrange, Kowloon has definitely been featured before, and I think Miyake-jima has, too.
Kowloon has definitly NOT been used before. You are a liar. Miyake jima was used before, but it was in a very different context.
A liar? Or just mistaken?
It was used in an article, but from over three, maybe four years ago (been reading Cracked at least that long), to the point it doesn't even exist in the archives. I actually have a slight suspicion this was that article rehashed from the dead, though I have no proof. Either way it's still a great read. On that note, I'm off to the archives to waste my weekend.
I'm pretty sure Cracked has done an article on Miyake-jima in the not-so-distant past (mid-late 2011), they could of at least waited until we forgot about it before bringing it back up. (Also the text is very similar to what was said about Miyake-jima in the previous article).
ReplyI'm too happy they aren't charging me money to have so much fun everyday for the last 4~5 years to care.
There was a time where often I could swear I had read the same article already and thought "must be hard times for these chaps, what right do I have to b***h about it, though?" and simply didn't read that particular article.
It was then that I discovered I didn't have a small penis after all :)
This is the second comment I have read tonight by you Rijart that had me laughing harder than the article itself...
I'm not even a Pink Floyd fan and that photo's giving me a boner. That is one of the coolest shots ever.
ReplyCaption for that last photo in #4: Are you my mummy?
ReplyLOL Yes
Most of northern Somalia still functions normally even though there been no government for the past 20 years. Some people just know how to get their s**t together.
Replythat is simply not true. unless genocide and starvation are "having your s**t together"
The caption at the end of #1 almost made coffee come out my nose.
ReplyKowloon sounds a bit like Escape From New York. You have to wonder if maybe Snake Pliskin got a hold of it and turned it into a park.
Reply