We, as a society, love deep voices. That's what our ads and documentary voice-overs are made of. That's why Darth Vader is so badass. Hell, that's how Barry White managed to become synonymous with sex despite having both the looks and a nickname that heavily feature the term "walrus." As we will soon discuss, this has a lot to do with sex appeal. But there's more to it, memory-wise.
Let's lead in with an experiment.
Imagine Morgan Freeman.
We suggest without the earring, but that's totally your call.
Now, imagine he's reading the rest of this article to you in that deep, soothing voice of his.
If you're a guy, hey, cool -- Morgan Freeman just read you a Cracked article! But if you're a girl ... well, you stand a decent chance of being able to recite said article from memory. See, just like men have a special trick for writing in the snow, there is one ladies-only method women can use to their advantage when they need that extra edge in the memory department.
And before you ask: Yes, of course it is related to boning.
"... and that's how you find the area of a triangle."
According to researchers from the University of Aberdeen in Scotland and McMaster University in Canada, evolution has trained women to remember everything associated with men they find desirable, including anything that they ramble about when they open their sexy mouths. This means that if you happen to be a male with a deep Sean Connery voice, which women tend to find very attractive, then your voice alone can actually enhance a woman's memory for absolutely anything you're saying, no matter how pointless it might be.
The researchers proved this by having the female subjects look at objects on computer screens while the names of said objects were read aloud by computer-manipulated male voices at various pitches, with some female voices mixed in for control. Then, they were tested with one of those annoying "Which of these was the correct object?" memory games.
Think hard, man. You think real fucking hard.
The ladies correctly picked out way more objects when they were initially introduced by deep male voices. A similar experiment using real human voices yielded the same results. This led the researchers to the inevitable conclusion: Deep male voices light up not only women's nether regions, but also their neurons.
Yes, once again, Darth Vader had it right.
2Looking at the Floor
Picture, in your mind, an elderly person who is desperately struggling to remember a name or event. He's got his hand on his chin, he's muttering to himself ("Was that Steve? No, Steve was in jail that year. Maybe Carl?"). Now let us ask you: Where is he looking?
Either at the floor or the ceiling -- almost as if he expects to find the answer written there. He may also just stare off into space -- anywhere, as long as he's not looking at you. Why?
Psychologists at the University of Scotland got curious enough to whip out their researchin' equipment and set up an experiment to find out what the score is.
It's faces. Your memory is ruined by other people's stupid, stupid faces.
The researchers figured this out by recruiting a bunch of young students at a nearby elementary school and tasking them with a bunch of memory-related tasks. Some of the kids were told they could look anywhere they wanted, including at their teacher, and the rest were instructed to look at a blank piece of paper on the floor.
While wearing ridiculous outfits and being told that the Easter Bunny isn't real.
The kids who looked at the blank sheet did almost 20 percent better than the ones who were allowed to look at their teacher. The reason appears to be that, as social animals, human faces are mentally captivating to us, and thus suck up quite a lot of our concentration. If you want to devote more mental horsepower to solving a problem, you need to look away.
Despite the fact that most people are not actively aware of this problem, our brains are usually able to figure it out as we get older. That is why the older you get, the more you start to instinctively look away from people when you're thinking and the more the "stare muttering at the ceiling while fiddling with your white beard" habit sets in.
"Now where did I put those extremely short, ridiculous pants ag-- Oh, I'm wearing them."