6 Arcade Games Too Awesome to Get Released in the West
When's the last time you went to an arcade? Maybe you were feeling nostalgic and wanted to see what awesome games they've invented in the last few decades, only to find ... games quite a bit worse than the stuff you have on your home consoles.
What the hell? There was a time when you went to arcades to play games that were bigger, better and more advanced than anything you could get at home. It's like one day game companies decided to stop making those.
The thing is, they didn't stop. They simply stopped bringing those games to the West. Games like ...
#6. Sonic Blast Heroes, the Dinosaur-Punching Simulator
In Sonic Blast Heroes, you take on the role of a man who punches everything in his path for no discernable reason,* allowing you to recreate the experience of being dangerously drunk within the safety of an amusement arcade. Your entire purpose in this game is to knock out things like a dinosaur, a giant octopus and an 18-wheel semi truck while screaming furious, incoherent exclamations.
*No discernable reason = It's all in Japanese.
Taito
Afterward you wake up in some kid's room, soaked in puke and surrounded by smashed toys.
As awesome as that sounds, this isn't exactly an outrageous plot for a Japanese video game -- we're talking about the same medium that has conditioned us to accept a turtle-jumping, mushroom-eating plumber as something normal. The difference is that in this case, the game is played by literally throwing punches at the machine.
Taito
What are you supposed to do if it eats your coins?
The game comes with a boxing glove and a pad that rises out the cabinet to let you know that it's punching time. The harder you hit the pad, the more damage you deal to the inexplicable enemies mentioned above, sending them flying into the background. Whoever throws the strongest punch wins the game, apparently.
Taito
Once again, the tyrannosaur's tiny, girlish arms are his undoing.
Also, the graphics in this thing are actually pretty great. Just take a look at those incredibly realistic and detailed backgrounds:
Taito
Seconds before complete obliteration.
Oh, and did we mention that one of the stages involves punching a giant meteor to pieces? Apparently, the Japanese version of Armageddon would have lasted 10 seconds.
Where You Can Find It:
The game was released only in Japan this past August. So what are the chances that it will be imported into the U.S.? Well, considering that it's a sequel to a 1990 arcade game that was recalled in America in 1995 for causing around 70 cases of "fractured or injured wrists and arms," we'd say they're not very good. Which is a shame, because the old version had crappy graphics and didn't even have dinosaurs.
Wikipedia
The wrists of America just weren't up to the challenge.
So if you suddenly feel the urge to get shitfaced and go punch a truck, looks like you're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.
#5. Let's Go Island 3D, the Big-Screen 3-D Shark Shooting Game (For Couples)
Let's Go Island 3D is a "date game" where you and your SO can sit in front of a 52-inch screen and pretend you're going on a relaxing vacation to the Caribbean. And by relaxing vacation, we mean this:
japanator
Killer shark attack explosion!
We can't say we're shocked to find out that Japan's idea of a romantic getaway includes shooting the shit out of giant killer sea monsters that jump at you from all sides as you're dragged across an island by a speeding boat. As insane as that sounds, the actual game looks even crazier. Oh, and it's all in glasses-less 3-D.
If the 3-D isn't immersive enough for you, it also has air compressors that blow bursts of air in your face to emphasize the most dramatic moments, while spattering you with real bits of shark flesh for added realism (or at least that seems like something it would do).
arcadeheroes
We're gonna need a bigger ... oh, nope, that's great.
We weren't kidding about the romantic part, by the way: The game encourages you to play with a partner and, amid all the insane graphic violence, it includes several mini-games that rate your compatibility as a couple, which is measured in hearts. It's a perfect ice breaker for a first date, or you can play it with a friend and subsequently avoid eye contact for a week.
am-show.sega
"Well, honey, if the killer shark game thinks so, I guess we have no choice but to file for divorce."
Where You Can Find It:
Date games, even really awesome ones, simply aren't that big outside of Japan. Apparently Let's Go Island 3D's 2-D pirate-themed predecessor reached American shores in small amounts, but it doesn't look like they're in any rush to bring over this new version. In the meantime, you and your date will have to settle for a good old-fashioned round of Mortal Kombat.
Getty
"If you play as Raiden one more goddamn time I'll poison your oatmeal."
#4. Heat Up Hockey, Psychedelic Futuristic Air Hockey
Imagine a parallel reality where air hockey tables didn't stop evolving at the end of the '70s -- a reality where that sad, half-broken machine gathering dust at the back of the arcade is, by now, all digitalized and cool. This bizarre alternate reality exists: it's called Japan.
Diginfonews
Also, in Japan real hockey is now played by robots.
This isn't touchscreen technology, but almost -- Sega's Heat Up Hockey uses a large overhead projector to display digital images on top of the table, while over 80 sensors on every side track the movements of the puck, allowing it to interact with the images. If the puck hits any of the block-like shields projected in front of the goal area, a physical panel behind it will go down and let you score.
Diginfonews
It's like Pong and Arkanoid had an awesome giant baby.
You can even adjust shield numbers to impose handicaps, and on top of this, the game includes moving targets that act as power-ups when the puck moves over them. You can also enter various bonus stages like the trippy silhouette stage ...
... or the utterly disconcerting dummy puck stage.
arcadeheroes
Both of these will kill you if you're already high.
Where You Can Find It:
Only in Japan, apparently. This despite the fact that it's completely in English (we wouldn't want to get lost in the game's complicated plot), and that the game is produced by the same company that didn't hesitate to bring you Sonic the Hedgehog. So you can wait until the next Japanese Amusement Expo and play it there ...
... or you can say fuck it and buy one for yourself, assuming you have $20,000 to spare.
I've played both of the number 2 and number 1 when I was stationed in Japan and I have to say I was hooked on them both. Maybe it's just the gimmick of being in a pod with the Gundam game or the fact of collecting the cards actually now has a point but it was fun none the less. I sincerely hope they move the games over to America. Just the concept of entire buildings dedicated to gaming is amazing. Not just their giant arcades but batting cages, tennis, soccer, archery, you name it on the roof for actual physical activity as well. Also, it is a pay for a certain amount of time and you can play every game and activity for free. Along with a bowling alley attached! (Though you have to pay extra for that.) All in all there is a concept that Americans need to get on board and start creating quarter sucking arcade games again. If we can create games for a console this good just imagine what you can do with a full sized arcade system dedicated to a single game these days.
ReplyI think a bowling alley near my house has that Let's Go Island game, or something very similar.
ReplyAt least we have the Rambo arcade game, that is truly enough for me. :)
ReplyLol, Japan.
ReplyAll of those games looked unbelievably gimmicky and incredibly stupid.
ReplySonic Blast Heroes looks great
ReplyA few years ago at the arcade near my house there was a game similar to the gundam pod. It was not as advanced but it was a pod you sat in with surround sound a played against up to eight other people in their own pods. It was taken out about 5 years ago. I guess it sucks too much power to be cost-effective. still...good times.
ReplyMaybe a few Dave & Busters locations would still have it.
That was probably a BattleTech Center...
there is something like lets go island over here and its awesome i wish it was easier to find in booth mode totality >.< (it's at chuck E cheese but sucks)
ReplyIt's that pirate game with the cannon in the middle isn't it?
I played that at my local arcade recently. It looked very similar to let's go island.
When I was in Tokyo for my exchange program a few of us American kids managed to coerce our host students to take us to Akihabara. It was the most magical place I have ever visited. One of the machines had porno DVDs as the prize for getting a plastic peg into a hole. Glorious, glorious Japan.
ReplyGundam Battle POD: Arena WAS released in America; but due to licensing agreements the setting was 'changed' and 8 prototype units exist at Sega Gamestops around America - the U.S. version is (arguably MORE obscure than Gundam) known as 'Armored Core: Cry of The Ravens' and features re-modeled figures off of antagonists from the series, with Hustler One as the "secret" character.
ReplyHe also has the KARASAWA-Mk. II and LS-MOONLIGHT (the two most BROKEN games ever in AC).
So they used the MoA version of Nineball? Awesome!
For #3...yup, I stopped playing the regular version at version 4 (that's what the "4" in the game name is, now it's...6). It's a crazy money drain due to having a card system and a challenge to grapple the weird physics with every new version. Believe me, that game is pretty big over places like Japan and Hong Kong.
ReplyAs for #1, there's a video of a rapper in a trip to Japan trying it out with hilarious results, to the despair of the ones going "SIEG ZEON".
got to #1 and thought meh...read about multiple pods linked up and WHERE CAN I SIGN UP!!
ReplyNumber one sounds like the GREATEST GAME KNOWN TO MAN.
ReplySeriously I have no idea what "Gundam" is (some sort of TV show? movie?) but GAHH WANT KILLER ROBOT GAME NOW!
These alone would entice me back to the arcade every Saturday instead of a bar. You hear me Dave & Buster's? Time to get your asses in gear!
ReplyGundammit that looks like a good game.
Reply#1 is the single most awesome videogame ever.
ReplyWhat about the Korean game where you shove your thunb up the machine's ass? Is that covered in a different article or the wrong kind of awesome?
ReplyIf I recall correctly, its your finger. And, yeah, its on here in another article.
there exists a card game siilar to the one described called three kingdom wars that exists in Schaumburg Illinoisat an arcade called "gameworks".
ReplyThat Initial D simulator is just as amazing as the article makes it seem. Even more so actually. We were in Tokyo just before the big earthquake in January for our honeymoon and went to the Joypolis in the Odaiba entertainment island/heaven place. You can actually get a passenger to go in the car with you while you play! The wife sat in the passenger seat screaming and my arms were like spaghetti after driving, the game really makes you turn the wheel in anger to stay on the road properly.
ReplyYou also get to use the clutch and a genuine stick shift as the rig is actually a real car which has been stripped of the mechanical bits, as opposed to a mock up fake thing.
I drove the exact yellow RX7 seen in the article and it was the most awesomest video game thing I've ever experienced.
This only makes me further lament the death of arcades in America.
Reply