The 5 Craziest Ways Public Schools Are Trying to Make Money
Even when economic times are good, most public schools are hard up for money, scraping by on outdated textbooks and school lunches made up of food rejected by prisoners. And economic times are not good.
Without getting into the politics of the situation, in general there just isn't enough money to go around for public schools. That means the schools have to get creative to make up the gap. After all, when the children's futures are at stake, should anything be off the table?
Well ... maybe.
#5.
Plastering Ads Everywhere
The moment we started talking about ridiculous ways schools are trying to raise money, half of you immediately thought, What, are the plastering ads all over the buses? Ha!
Actually, they totally are.
Via braincocoa
Obesity 101.
For example, schools in Colorado, Kentucky and New Jersey have all passed laws allowing ads to be splashed right on the side of their buses. It's perfect if you think about it: Your kids can start learning about the stark economic realities of life before they even get to school. "Lesson one, Billy: If you're too poor or young to own a car, then you have to ride a big yellow billboard to school every morning."
Via Houston Press
And how's your credit rating, Billy? That goes on your permanent report card, you know.
And, hell, why should it end when they get to school? Dammit, if there isn't at least one advertisement within full view of each child every second of the day, we're leaving money on the table! That's why other school districts are allowing gigantic ads on school lockers.
Via Star Tribune
In a subtle fuchsia tint.
But you have to think beyond just the walls -- think about all of that paperwork the schools are always handing out. You know, grade cards and stuff. Look at all the blank space around the margins! Surely you could cram some goddamned ads in there. And sure enough, some Florida schools decided to let the local McDonald's advertise on student report cards, provided that McDonald's paid roughly $1,600 for the envelopes. Never one to let an opportunity at America's youth go by, McDonald's bit on the offer and came up with this:
Via Advertising Age
Is this a threat for the children with low grades? Because that's just tasteless.
Of course a shitstorm of protests ensued, but the school board held firm. Besides, what makes bad news about failing grades go down better than a nice, juicy Quarter Pounder?
#4.
Cash4Gold
Cash4Gold will be to this recession what the soup lines were to the Great Depression: a sad symbol of desperate times. It brings to mind weeping mothers mailing off their antique jewelry to be bought and melted down for pennies on the dollar.
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You're not truly desperate until you trust your priceless heirlooms to the U.S. Postal Service.
So it only makes sense that after your child has learned the valuable lesson of how the modern economy runs on giant pictures of hamburgers, he or she can learn another valuable lesson about the market value for Grandma's old necklaces. Kids at Norton Elementary in Georgia got to witness this dynamic first hand when the school held a three-day cash for gold event on school grounds, during school hours.
Via wsbtv.com
Now, it may be a fine idea in principle to turn the school into a pawn shop for three days to drum up some quick cash for the school, except that people getting rid of their valuables for quick cash were under no particular obligation to donate the cash to the school. Because of this, it's completely conceivable that Grandpa pawned his gold teeth and pocketed all the cash, leaving the school high and dry.
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Sooo ... your Grandpa is pretty pimp?
Ah, what are we talking about? Pawn shops always attract the classiest customers! Wait, do those old wrestling trophies in the main hall display case have real gold on them? Melt that shit down! We have books to buy!
iStockPhoto
Wait, the price of gold has dropped? Burn the books, we've got a mob to start!
#3.
Working the Casinos
It may not be surprising to hear that gambling gets used occasionally to raise money for good causes. Hell, numerous states already use proceeds from the lottery to fund schools -- that's basically the same thing.
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So presumably this guy surrounded by hookers is the world's greatest philanthropist.
But not to be outdone, 83 Catholic schools in Alberta, Canada decided to go a step further and have charity casino nights. And we're not talking about using Monopoly money to play roulette while everybody giggles and drinks punch. We're talking real casinos. Parent associations formed the casino nights where the parents volunteered at actual local casinos for four to six hours of work while the other parents gambled. Because of the low overhead for the casino, the schools walk away with a ton of jack, usually somewhere around $70,000 for a single night of work. Holy shit! Why doesn't everybody do this?
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Oh yeah, the "gambling" thing.
Realizing that raising funds via keeping Mom and Dad glued to the Blackjack table was probably not the best for the school's image, the Archbishop of Edmonton called for an end to the practice ... and was immediately objected to because the schools were making too much money off it. With an expected $6 MILLION expected from gambling over 18 months, the schools have no way to replace that kind of revenue. The money is used to help fund school meals, field trips and classroom equipment.
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"Our math lesson today is how putting your college fund on double-pay bonus spins will really increase your payout on the slots."
Though can you imagine how much of a dick you'd feel like if you hit the fundraiser casino on a hot streak and cleaned them out? "Jackpot! I'll take that payment in the form of textbooks and janitors, bitches!"
I wish I could attend the schools in #1. Then again, the conditions there must be pretty bad if they have to bribe kids to attend.
ReplyHoly crap, I can bankrupt schools by gambling? One minute, there's a... certain middle school I have to "visit."
ReplyI have a couple I need to visit as well.
Bloody hell I'm happy I didn't go to public schools..
Replywe have student counts all the time. if you miss more than twenty days of class you might have to retake it too.
Replywe also have to pay a fee for printer paper and buy our english books.
there are hard times now but my school does make sense with its rules.
plus it costs $150 for a parking pass (its a high school) so i think were getting by okay right now.
Haha, I went to school just outside of Detroit and the whole bribing kids to come on count day is SO true! We got free pizza, prizes, inflatables and music in the gym, etc!
ReplyAnd the school board reps who come in for the counts don't get suspicious?
Damn, I guess I left Detroit too early. Oh, no, wait, I went to East Detroit Public Schools... curses.
ReplyThere is nothing left to say for the school systems. WE HAVE PAWNED THE FUTURE.
ReplyI would like to say that my schools were well attended, and the only "Field Day." was a Olympic-style competition, and we were never bribed with free Big Macs for good behavior or grades(although I got my first several Godzilla movies because of my "Braggin Dragon" awards. Silly, but true.
Replywe had perfect attendance parties, and prizes and stuff. but it was for each six weeks grading period.
ReplyI had no idea truancy was a problem with elementary school aged children..
ReplyAbsolutely it is. It's not just about lazy high school kids who don't want to go to school. The other issue is lazy parents who could care less whether or not their kids went to school, or want them to stay home to babysit, do chores, etc. I was a victim of this (I missed like 3 days a week in elementary), and my parents never got caught because they lied on their forms anyway considering we could never stay in any one school district more than 6 months.
The title is misleading, since not all the schools are public.
ReplyI would definitely not recommend doing what the picture for #2 shows. A quick search shows that in my state, bribery of a public servant is a class D felony. Class D felonies have a maximum sentence of FOUR YEARS here.
I think bribing a police officer or judge is a seperate harsher charge.
Back in my day, when a government school needed money, they just sent a guy who said I'd be kidnapped (and killed if I resisted) if I didn't give them my money. What a strange times we live in now.
ReplyYeah kids these days! In my days, children became men only after they wrestled with bears, juggled snakes and swam in a pool filled with spiders.
Capitalism. It's what makes America so great.
ReplyYou know what the problems with your public school is?
ReplyYou cannot fire a stupid teacher without a lot of litigation. And your students are not allowed to choose which school they want to go.
And why I'm incensed?
Because there are efforts to copycat that kind of system into our better school system, all because "Hey, it's from America, it's a wave of the future!"
anyone who takes cue from American public schools have no idea what it is like here. Our teachers have movie days to grade our tests because they don't have enough free periods to grade. Imagine watching Beetle Juice twice in one year in one history class, and we were required to take notes so that we couldn't use that time to study for other classes. It's just absurd.
I would say the problem with American public schools is "everything".
The saddest thing about #2 is that it's a good example of just how the NCLB movement failed miserably. The teachers could have been spending all that time and manpower preparing for lessons or helping with side projects, but had to cheat just to keep their funding normal.
ReplyBoth those school systems are so underfunded its scary. They can't do what you suggested because half the time the students don't show up. They need the federal money to atleast buy books so that the students f\who do show up can be taught.
public schools have plenty of money their just horrible at money management hire some descent accountants like American Indian charter school in Oakland did and things will turn around, and do schools really need high end computer labs if they don't have textbooks? the problem isn't lack of money it's that they're spending it on all the wrong things
My sisters year book is filled with ads. Almost 1/2 of the entire damn book has ads. Of that 1/2, just about all of them have McDonalds or credit card ads.
ReplyBecause what better way to keep the adults of tomorrow fat, and broke, than to push fast food and debt on the children of today.
My yearbook had coupons along with ads.
Um... I don't know any Catholic schools that *don't* use gambling (and alcohol sales) to raise money. Granted casino night isn't usually at an actual casino... But that just sounds like making a good idea a *great* idea.
ReplyYup, Bingo and Monte Carlo Nights were normal for me when I was growing up.
I'm too tired to be angry about silly comments. Sure, there are economic problems, but public schools have long had plenty of money, even before the economic crisis, but have been unable to spend it efficiently on education. The main problem is a lack of incentives for being efficient. Bad schools tend to get *more* money than good schools, which is exactly opposite how businesses tend to work. Also various educational regulations make it harder for public schools to cut costs when they need to, or to experiment and innovate. I realize it won't be easy to do, but the biggest thing we can do to improve education is get government out of it, and leave it to the educational experts, even if it takes phasing it out over a long period of time. After all, why should state legislatures determine how much money teachers should make, or what the school curriculum actually ought to be?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesRegarding the lack of incentives for being efficient - How do you tell which schools are better or worse? Here in Australia, schools have recently began national testing even from the lowest grades, with the reason being to allow parents to be able to compare their child's performance to other children across the nation. Sounds like a good idea? Sure. Except that it is also tied into the amount of funding schools get. Now there have been MANY reports of schools skewing the results in numerous ways to make their school appear to be better performing than it actually is. For example, there have been cases where under-performing children have been encouraged to miss school on the day of the test. In other cases, over-achievers have been allowed to take the test at a later time, if they miss school due to illness, while the same courtesy has not been offered to other children. One of the bigger complaints is that the whole first semester of the school year is being devoted almost solely to the teaching of material in these tests rather than proper curriculum (the tests are conducted at the end of the first quarter). The rest of the year is then spent trying to complete the extra work which should have been taught earlier. This is just resulting in an 'artificial' education.
Secondly, regarding the pay rates of public school teachers - Do teachers not have unions in America? If conditions are poor they should take appropriate action. In Australia, lobbying is performed by teachers unions which are funded by members, and by parental associations which are usually funded through charitable donations, not by government money.
"Bad schools tend to get *more* money than good schools, which is exactly opposite how businesses tend to work"
A. I never heard that before, or seen that. I went to a "bad" high school and the "good" high school got solar panel covers for thei student parking lot, and my "bad" school got our student parking lot removed so they could build a theater for the city, while we searched for street parking, way into first period. First period tardiness rose up significantly, and 10 tardies get you a detention, and detention became overfilled.
B. why would you want a school to be run like a business? These aren't lazy employees, these are children, and they don't deserve to be collectively treated poorly or amazingly. The best thing to do is to treat every student fairly, with no funding being achieved through testing scores, or wasted on unnecessary administrators. If it's public, it should be fair and everything should be up for public criticism.
Bad schools are usually bad because of underfunding. There is a corelation between how funded the school is and both atttendance and test scores.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA catholic schools having a casino night!!!! Teach them the lessons of their lord are bs early I guess. The catholics keep on getting better and better for a good laugh.
ReplyGambling is not a sin for Catholics. Now you know! ;)
Why don't we make the Public schools into Public Boarding School, and then make the little s**tes work for their education, as in turn our public schools into factories. It'll teach our nation's youth the value of industry, teach them that nothing in this world is free, and provide schools with money.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesThat's a great idea. And while we're at it, f**k the emancipation proclamation too. Slavery's back in style!
Sure, cause you enjoyed child labor as kid didn't you?
f**k morality and human rights altogether (there are 10 times more bacteria in your body than cells so we're technically not human) so lets kill and eat unwanted babies/poor people/the homeless/people with disabilities. World hunger and overpopulation solved, baby! :D
Anyone else just stop wondering why apocalypse movies are suddenly so popular?