The 7 Most Ridiculous Cases of Misplaced Priorities
We've all had moments when our priorities weren't quite in line, like the time you punched a kid for mispronouncing "Kenobi" or reported your babysitter to child services so you could steal back your Hobgoblin Pog. And then there are the people who make those decisions seem rational and appropriate.
#7.
Man Chooses to Get Shot Rather Than Hand Over Cell Phone
It may not surprise a lot of you that there are people out there who treasure their cell phones. Hell, it's not uncommon to hear of people risking electrocution on train tracks to retrieve their dropped gadgets. There's even one guy who, after dropping his phone into a public toilet, reached into it and got stuck arm to elbow, eventually requiring the freaking jaws of life.
Getty
"God, there is just no way this situation can get worse."
But then there's the case of New Yorker Marcin Muchalski, who was taking a morning stroll along the Williamsburg Bridge when a mugger surprised him, took out a gun and demanded his cell phone.
Not believing that the robber had the balls to actually shoot him in the middle of the Williamsburg Bridge at seven in the morning, and not wanting to hand over his most prized possession, Marcin essentially dared his assailant to pry the Nokia 3390 off his cold, dead hands.
Getty
"Are you ... are you fucking serious?"
The robber happily obliged Marcin's request and proceeded to shoot him in the leg. Now, here's where most people would count their losses and hand over the damn cellphone, but Marcin wasn't quite finished pissing in the face of death.
Marcin began to limp away as fast as he could, still holding on to his phone. The mugger, who actually had his priorities slightly more in line, decided not to give chase and risk a murder charge over a friggin' Nokia. Still, he was arrested after Marcin got to a safe distance and called the NYPD -- using his cell phone.
Getty
"That's right, officer. The pussy only shot me once."
Though, to be fair to Marcin, people have risked getting shot for less ...
#6.
Man Refuses to Release His Gamer Login Info at Gunpoint
When you're a Brazilian video game champion, you come to expect a certain amount of celebrity status. That amount is zero. None. You have no celebrity.
Getty
You're barely even a person.
That all changed when the top scorer of a game called GunBound, known only by his username DuduMagik, got on Brazilian gang leader Igor da Silva Carvalho's radar. Carvalho hatched a plot to kidnap Dudu in order to get the password to his account, which he planned to then sell online in the most rational and totally not ridiculous extortion scheme of all time.
Carvalho had his girlfriend meet Dudu in an online chat room, then presumably had her make strong insinuations that there would be a forest of naked boobies in the gamer's future if they met at the mall. Dudu fell for it, and when he got to the mall, Carvalho and two of his cronies ambushed him and took him at gunpoint to a nearby LAN cafe, demanding that he give up his account password.
Getty
It looks placid, but half the people in here are being mugged.
But there's something these master criminals weren't counting on. Apparently, Dudu's entire list of priorities included one thing and one thing only: his goddamn video game score.
With a gun to his head and three gangsters screaming at him to give up his password, Dudu stood his ground. For over five hours. According to our Brazilian sources, and the always-accurate Google Translate, "The person responsible for account DuduMagik ... still not provided the correct password for the transfer, causing the cancellation of the group that released it then." Uh ... we think that means they let Dudu go after he gave them bullshit passwords for a few hours.
Getty
"Next time, we'll do better."
So, despite valuing his video game score more than his life and taunting gun-toting kidnappers with fake passwords for five hours, Dudu somehow lived to tell his ridiculous tale. Carvalho and company were later caught and arrested, presumably while holding someone hostage for their Netflix account.
#5.
Woman Runs Into Burning House to Save Baseball Tickets
When New Jersey teacher Marie Murphy got a call telling her that her house was on fire, she promptly dropped everything and rushed to the scene. She wasn't scared for anyone's life, because she knew that her husband and her mother, who had been staying with them, were both safely outside the blaze. Instead, Murphy was determined to save her most prized possessions -- and not even a goddamn inferno was going to stand in her way.
Getty
We wouldn't rush in there for anything short of our Pog collection.
What was so important that Murphy would literally risk burning to death to salvage? Baseball tickets. More specifically, her season tickets to the Phillies.
Heroically ignoring every single one of her other possessions (including a certificate of fire insurance, which we might have at least taken a slight detour for), Murphy reached her baseball tickets and made it out in time to see everything else that she owned swallowed by remorseless hellfire.
Getty
"But at least we saved two pieces of paper!"
Although Murphy and her husband were forced to live in a motel for some time after the blaze, they were at least able to settle everything with their insurance company. And Murphy was even surprised at her school by the Phillies Fanatic who tossed a bunch of Phillies merchandise at her, including a framed World Series Ticket.
It was probably around this time that Murphy fully realized how ridiculous her rescue mission had been, because she was told that the Phillies would have gladly reprinted her tickets had they burned in the fire.
Via Tom Briglia
"But here's a framed picture for risking your life needlessly."
#4.
Woman Cares About Her Child, Cares More About Her Car
In 2006, Stamford resident Guita Sazan Silverstein made the incredible decision to leave her two-year-old son in her car on a hot summer day while she did some shopping -- because as we all know bad things only happen to poor children that nobody cares about. When she returned, she was horrified to discover that she had locked herself out of the car and couldn't get in. With the temperature at 88 degrees, her child was at serious risk of heat stroke.
Getty
"Also, you left the radio off. I kind of mind the 'boredom' more than the 'dying.' "
When the firefighters arrived, they informed Silverstein that in order to get her son out quickly, they would need to break one of the car windows. Silverstein, understanding the urgency and severity of the situation, heroically said no.
Silverstein didn't want firefighters to damage her 1999 Audi, but she understood that her son needed to get out of the car, so she came up with a compromise: drive over a mile to her home to get her spare set of keys. Keep in mind that her son had been in the hot car for 15 to 20 minutes at this point.
Via Anthony Citrano
In her defense, Audis are pretty sweet cars.
After she borrowed a car to drive home, the firefighters ignored her wishes and broke the window anyway because they weren't complete fucking retards. The two-year-old boy was initially unresponsive, but thankfully recovered fully. When Silverstein returned, she was placed under arrest for reckless endangerment and risk of injury to a minor, and for being just a daffy bastard in general.
Silverstein claimed that the reason she didn't want the window broken was that she was worried that the glass would hurt her son. You know, because she just then at that exact moment started worrying about his safety.
Getty
"We don't get to say this often ma'am, but you're under arrest for being a galaxy-sized bitch."
Okay, that story with the lady and the hospital and Michael Jackson is just awful. WTF
ReplyI would run into a fire for Phillies tickets. The Phillies are awesome.
ReplyYou sir have zero life.
I wouldn't run anywhere for phillies tickets. Hell I would set fire to my house if there where phillies tickets in there.
This has got to be one of the worst cracked articles I've seen yet. 3 of these cases were not misplaced priorities, stealing is a horrible affront and violence is an appropriate response. Not giving in to the guy with a gun trained on you is about dignity and self respect more than whatever it is of yours that they are trying to take.
ReplyXander_S's priorities:
1. Dignity and Self Respect
2. Living
Okay, next time you steal my cookies, I'll beat your face in with a monkey wrench. Then point a gun at your head while I set fire to your baseball tickets...
By the way, you left your baby in the car.
Regarding the MJ one - it would have been hospital policy to remove Ruiz from the ER. Somebody recovering from a heart attack shouldn't risk being around contagious illnesses, and it's often policy to remove such victims and put them in DSU or another room until the contagious patient is dealt with. Many ventilators are actually not able to be removed from rooms, and so disconnecting her and using a hand-pump during the transfer would have been necessary.
ReplyJust sayin'.
If you read what they said, they said they moved her to a smaller room to give him more space...
I once hit a kid with my car because I didn't want to mess up my vehicle swerving over a curb.
ReplyBut in fairness, it wasn't my kid.
For number 4: 88 degrees? Feh, its hotter than that in my apartment right now. You northerners with your silly low tolerance for heat.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesYes! Damn babies for their total lack of ability to take things adults can! Why, just the other day I saw an infant being pushed around in a cart like it's some kind of god damned emperor! In China if it's not walking and sewing Nike's together in a sweat shop by 2 weeks old it's hurdled out of a cannon into the sun. Us "Northerners" just don't know how to abuse/raise kids enough.
P.S. 88 degrees outside. The temp in the car was probably closer to 100 idiot.
Maybe we need more after-school specials / public awareness ads about leaving kids / pets in cars. Even cracked readers seem unaware of how deadly it is. The kid was unresponsive .... that means close to dead.
Or.. and get me on this one.. the baby was just freaking annoyed at all 200 people who gathered to see him around/save him. Damn Adults..
I can't tell if this comment is a joke or not. Please, the next time you have an 88 degree day, go and sit in your car for 30 minutes with no water or cracked windows and then let me know how it goes. Have you not heard of the greenhouse effect? You *should* have learned about it in 4th grade. idiot.
you southerners and your silly low tolerance for intelligence.
Sports fans are so stupid-_-
ReplyI just knew the tickets were for the Phillies. We are some crazy fans.
Reply'like the time you punched a kid for mispronouncing "Kenobi"' The first line broke me. I haven't even read the rest of it...
ReplyThank you. Thank you so much for writing the first Michael Jackson death joke I've read that wasn't a goddamn stupid meme.
Reply"...we're going to assume prison life is the same there as it is anywhere: a terrifying, miserable experience full of stabbings and rape."
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI don't know about the US, but here in the UK jail is ridiculously close to a bad holiday camp. Games consoles, TV, no rent, free food, plenty of company etc etc. My boyfriend is there as we speak, the second f**king time. Maybe if the government here weren't clueless toff's they'd realize that without grime and sex crimes, prison just isn't a punishment and certainly doesn't act as a deterent to past offenders.
Your boyfriend sounds like a real keeper.
Well, she always knows where he is...
Prison isn't a deterrent anyway. If anything it increases the chance of crime, thanks to making friends with other criminals.
As a Criminology student, I can say that's 100% true. :D
oh how I laughed at the Jasmin Wanke 'seen here' picture. Classic
ReplyHaving played Gunbound on and off for a few years, I can tell you that #6 makes perfect sense.
ReplyI doubt any of the top ranked players on any WOW server would be any more forthcoming with their logins.
"We've never been to jail in Sicily, but we're going to assume prison life is the same there as it is anywhere: a terrifying, miserable experience full of stabbings and rape."
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesReally? Because in Europe we usually don't have much rape in prison... or violence.
Prison rape is mainly an American thing... at least in the western world.
Prison rape is mainly a made up thing, in all countries and cultures.
And to add what fvckaccounts said (nice name, btw), this is a comedy site so not everything is supposed to be 100% true.
Law and Order: SVU loves that myth....
Oh yeah.. Well tell that to the boys at prison i go every sunday to rape.. pfft.. stupid cracked commenterons know nothing of life and good entertainment
Ofcourse Europe doesn't have prison rape or violence. Their civilized, and if history taught me anything "civilized europe" doesn't know anything about rape or violence. Let's just ignore every damn thing europe did then. I bet the africans, jews, other europeans, native americans, asians, australian aboriginals, and middle easterns would agree with you.
I feel about that Michael Jackson story... Those people should burn for that. You would think that Michael Jackson should have the common courtesy upon hearing about this and compensate the family...
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesWhy is it Jackson's fault what the f**ktard doctors did, again?
He might have a hard time compensating them bearing in mind the whole 'being dead' thing...
I'm sorry but I have to agree with Mike. It is unlikely that he even had any knowledge of the hospital's doing until after the fact, so if she passed away during the transportation from her original room to where they wanted to put her, he would have presumably had no knowledge (though hopefully had he known he would've stopped them asking WTF was wrong with them).
The hospital is really totally at fault in this, given the information presented. Where I work, patients are not put into their room until it's clean, so they have no knowledge of the previous occupant. Sad that they'd get so caught up with appeasing a celebrity. Hopefully the nurses and/or doctors to blame got disciplined, if not fired, for their complete lack of ethics in the situation.
No one said it was his fault, he said it would have been common courtesy to at least offer a bit of compensation. He was worth millions of dollars after all.
In Greece, some guy got stabbed to death because he wouldn't turn in his $150 camera.
ReplyAnd i fapped like an hour ago.
150 dollars still is a high price.here you can buy a bicycle (which, by the way, costs exactly 150 dollars, or R$ 270.) with this.
1 was the best.
ReplyAs a Sicilian, I'm proud my land could get the first place in a rank. By the way, jails here are over-populated, both with men and mice (and other less lovable animals), the suicide rate is quite high, most of the convicts forgot even the feeling of water on skin and getting raped is suitable, seeing the other options.
ReplyNot much of a wife, uh?
the dude in number 7 totally had his s**t straight. getting shot in the leg is probably covered by insurance but getting your cell phone stolen probably isn't. sounds like the dude was just a stone cold badass.
Reply#1 is perfectly understandable.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesMost women have no conception about how mind-bogglingly annoying they can be.
Maybe if men weren't so incompetent, women wouldn't have to nag them so much :O
Men and women whine about s**t so much.
that is sometimes the case, and when it is, it is seriously f**king awful, but there are notable exceptions. some chicks just need to grow the f**k up, but still some already have
People in general are annoying, whiny bastards - regardless of gender
Hell is other people...
1 Advice.. Hit Woman! Its the best treatment and if she tries to call the police you cut the wires and beat her some more then fall asleep on a chainsaw and blame everything on her! That'll show her..