6 Fitness Tips Everyone's Heard (That Don't Work at All)
So this last year, I've been trying to do the old lose-weight-get-strong thing, so I can fit into a bikini and smash through walls. You know, the same thing millions of other Americans are striving for.
Deep down, we all want to be She-Hulk.
When I started out, I thought, naively, that different things work for different people and I should look around and try different ideas to see what works for me. I was a fool to have thought that. According to countless self-proclaimed fitness experts, there is only one way to avoid obesity and early death: their way. Among the tips you'll have screamed at -- from website and magazine headlines -- are ...
#6.
You MUST Eat Breakfast
This advice comes with one or more all-capped words most of the time, for some reason, as if implying that if you DON'T eat BREAKFAST you might DIE.
Why is breakfast so LIFE and DEATH? Well, for one thing, breakfast supposedly will "jump-start your metabolism" and make you burn calories at a faster rate throughout the day. This is silly and jump starting your metabolism by eating is not a real thing. In fact, for one group (male athletes), not eating breakfast really jump-starts their system.
The other reason given for the supreme importance of breakfast is that if you wait until lunch, you'll be so hungry you'll eat the entire buffet, heat lamps and all, and end up taking in more total calories over the course of the day than if you'd just eaten your crappy toast and fruit at breakfast.
Via Spencer195
The trays aren't bad, if crunchy. I wouldn't recommend the tongs though.
Unfortunately, studies show that's not the case. When subjects were asked to skip breakfast, and even both breakfast and lunch, they actually ended up eating the same or fewer calories than when they'd been eating breakfast.
My point isn't that you should skip breakfast. Maybe you are starving at 7 a.m. and feel like crap if you don't eat something. Maybe you do shove your face into the salad bar at lunch and suck everything up like a vacuum if you don't get your morning cereal. Maybe you can't eat when you get up, but you like a snack at 9 a.m. when you get to work. Whatever. All I'm saying is science has proven breakfast will not solve all or any of your major life problems.
#5.
You Must Get Your BMI Down
If you've ever tried to get fit, you've probably been introduced to the concept of BMI, or Body Mass Index. The concept is over 100-years old, and is totally showing it. BMI is more or less weight divided by height. If it's above a certain number, you're obese.
You can probably already see what the problem with that is. By that extremely oversimplified metric, Reggie Bush (pictured here) ...
... is a big old fatty. You could be 200 pounds of muscle or 200 pounds of fat (give or take some bones and blood or something) and BMI wouldn't know the difference.
That would be bad enough if BMI was just like an astrological sign or penis measurement that you use to brag groundlessly to other people. But it's not just a frivolous vanity stat, it's something that's being used to judge pretty important things, like whether you can apply for a job as a cop or firefighter, certain military jobs, or whether you can undergo surgery.
It might not be exactly the same as evaluating job applicants by reading the length of their lifeline on their palm, but it's pretty close. And do you really want anything to do with a system that has no place for guys like this?
#4.
Barefoot Running is Best
One of the hot trends nowadays is barefoot running, which is exactly what it sounds like. (Although some people do it with super-thin sandals or goofy-looking foot protectors.)
Via Brett L.
The reasoning goes that we evolved to run without shoes. Some dude won the 1960 Olympic marathon barefoot, and there's a tribe in Mexico that's been running hundreds of miles for years wearing only simple thin sandals.
So the theory goes that shoes are just a clunky modern invention that cage the mysterious physics tricks our feet are capable of.
But first of all, not everyone's feet are the magical mechanical machines evolution built. About 20 percent of adults have flat feet, so we don't even have that bio-mechanical springy arch that our athletic shoes are allegedly repressing.
Via BruceMcAdam
My feet, more or less.
You'd think people would go, "OK, I'm not talking about you then," but barefoot running advocates are extremely preachy, or to be fair, the ones you hear the most from are extremely preachy and (ironically) inflexible. So if you have normal feet? Barefoot running is the answer. Flat feet? Barefoot running is also the answer because it will "strengthen the muscles" that support your arch. That you don't have.
Other things they'll tell you is that everyone against barefoot running has a "vested interest" so you shouldn't listen to your podiatrist because they just want to sell you foot products, and top professional runners only wear shoes because they are in bed with dirty shoe company money.
Look at those money-grubbing sellouts.
Could you overdo it and get hurt? Nonsense. It's impossible to over-train or over-stride because "your feet will stop you."
That's interesting because sports injury clinics claim to be seeing a lot of injuries you can only get by barefoot running.
Via AndryFrench
It can get filtered out in the enthusiasm, because a lot of barefoot runners tend to excuse barefoot running pain as "getting used to it" after years of running wrong, or even see it as a good sign that they're really working out their foot muscles while framing any pain from running in shoes as signs of damage and wrong running.
How can people be so stubbornly sure that barefoot running is the only way for humans to run? There must be a lot of really good research on it, I guess. Except there isn't. Even one of the biggest researchers of barefoot running has this to say at the bottom of his website dedicated to barefoot running:
"Please note that we present no data on how people should run, whether shoes cause some injuries, or whether barefoot running causes other kinds of injuries. We believe there is a strong need for controlled, prospective studies on these issues."
Seems like a really weird basis for people to base a "this will work for everybody" level of faith in.
Oh, that guy that won the 1960 Olympic marathon barefoot? He ran it again in 1964 and set a new record ... while totally wearing shoes.
I advocate that there is no such thing as bad food. The only bad food is too much food. That holds true of anything. If you ate 5,000 calories a day worth of fruits and vegetables you would still get fat.
ReplyI think potato chips get a bad rep. Sure, they're deep fried and white potatoes are starchy and full of carbs, but they also have way more potassium than a banana, which is potassium that is getting a b-line right into your system thanks to the easily broken-down potato. Potassium is something you need a lot of when you're working out. When you sweat, you not only lose salt and water, but also potassium, and then your poor muscles suffer. So eat them taters for all their worth. Besides, if you're that worried about the deep frying, go with baked. They're just as crunchy and delicious and potato-y
#2 seems more like an opinion than a real science-backed health tip. Substituting junk food with snackish fruits and vegetables is undeniably a good idea. You may trick yourself into eating healthier later by having junk food anyway, but the physical effects suggest fruits and vegetables as snacks are healthier than chips.
ReplyOtherwise, fantastic article.
Meh I only snack when my stomach has been empty for a while. Celery works as well as anything.
ReplyWhat about that whole "Drink half your body weight in ounces" thing? Is that true or false?
ReplyUm, false. Isn't that what the article just said? Or do a little research on your own. Same answer.
My uncle eats a s**t load of vegetables and fruits and I think that they are like natural medicine since my uncle is very healthy.He used to eat lots of junk food and he always had headaches and other stuff but when he changed to healthy foods he was more healthy.
ReplyAlso my uncle told me that fruits and vegetables give energy too but in steady amounts unlike snacks which have sugar and sugar gives you a quick boost of energy but the energy is as quickly used up as is consumed.If the energy provided isn't used it's tuned into fat right?
I'm just saying that fruits and veggies don't help you lose wait they are healthy though. Just eat less and exercise
Just an observation on point #6...I learned that breakfast was important for the following reason: When you sleep, your body keeps you functioning (lungs breathing, heart beating, brain...braining) by feeding on stored energy reserves. When you wake up, you need to replace the energy consumed while you slept, otherwise your body will replace it for you by breaking down the protein in your muscle tissue. Technically, you can skip breakfast, but it's not going to do as much good in the long run if it's destroying muscle tissue as you work out/go about your day.
ReplyI think your body just continues using those stored energy reserves (fat) until you eat.
If your body's on such a fine balance that missing a meal causes it to cannibalize muscle tissue, that's a serious problem by itself. That's starving.
i have undergone surgery and BMI is used to calculate the amount of tranquliser to use for when they slice you open, too little and you may wake up with a gapeing hole in your gut, too much and you may never wake up!! (because your dead)
ReplyThis article should be re-titled "5 Reasons Why Christina H Will Never Lose Weight."
ReplyDo you actually have a compelling argument? No? Than go away, please.
I think the problem with the "barefoot whatever" advocates is that they're misunderstanding the problem. It's not that shoes are bad for your feet. They're not. It's that they're a*****e enablers of bad foot behavior. Like walking. Most people (at least most normal, non-athlete-or-dancer Americans) walk in a way that is very bad for their feet, that we never would have walked in nature, but we can get away with it because of the careful bracing and padding of modern shoes.
ReplyIf you take the shoes away but walk the same way, of course it's going to f**k up your feet. And if you learn to walk in a different way but keep the shoes, then there's no benefit to chucking the shoes. In conclusion, keep the damn shoes so that you don't step on a nail and get tetanus, cos you don't want to have to take a trip out back of the woodshed with Mr. Shotgun.
"Have some pasta salad... instead of forcing water down your throat."
ReplyNo wonder you're having trouble losing weight.
Too bad muscle confusion does actually work. P90X is a stupid routine, but The Conjugate (or westside method) is not. In fact, its produced many of the strongest athletes on the planet, and i was able to achieve a 2.5 times bodyweight squat with that routine. Some of the things in this article are true, but i think its pretty stupid for a person who obviously isn't that knowledgeable on working out to comment on the subject. Also eating food upon waking up is a smart idea, unless you want to have a slow ass metabolism. A person should eat something every three hours ideally .
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesEvery three hours? People should "ideally" wake up in the middle of the night a couple times to eat? How do people revolve their whole lives around this eating schedule? How do you have time to prepare 8 meals a day for yourself, and have a job, and have other personal responsibilities, and workout, and then on top of all the eating, have time to do anything fun?
Who paid you to type this? Seriously?
The spam bots seem to have gained sentience. This is how skynet started
#1 made me think of a rather depressing biography about a boy who grew up poor and would literally pump his stomach to bursting with water to stave off the hunger pain for even just a little while.
ReplyI'm sad now.
wow I thought I had it bad eating margarine to feel sick as a break from the hunger... the water thing sounds painful in and of itself. especially considering how it feels to drink a small amount when you're starving
Sooooo...Christina isn't a columnist anymore? And nobody is whining about this article all of a sudden. Huh.
ReplyIt seems she still is, but her banner is conspicuously missing...
Probably an experiment.
However, in reference to the water, it really can help if you are drinking water instead of soda, alcohol, the blood of your enemies, etc. I easily drink 8 cups of water simply because if I do not have my water around me to drink, I stop at a soda machine and get a 250 calorie Coke or whatever. So, if the water is a replacement for all the high calorie stuff you normally drink, it would help you lose weight.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesBut the blood of my enemies is my best protein source!
Blood can be a good source of vitamins and minerals.
I have to disagree about the ritualistic blood-drinking as a barrier to weight loss. I'm at the healthiest weight of my life thanks to a prion disease I developed somewhere along the line. The constant tremors burn calories like no program I've ever tried, and I haven't felt hungry in weeks!
My doctor tells me that some of the weight is water retention that happens because of all the salt in the organism. Drinking more water helps salt wash away from your body so water retention is minimum. So he says. Also it helps a lot if you have low blood pressure, less dizziness and headache. That I can vouch for myself.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesstop going to that son of a b***h right now. from what you said i can only conclude he is trying to kill you. drinking too much water is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. wiki "water intoxication" or read the following qoute
There is such a thing as drinking an excess of water. It's known as hyponatremia or water intoxication, and it's the opposite of dehydration. It basically means you have an abnormally low concentration of sodium in your blood. Guzzling a ton of water in a short amount of time can overload your kidneys and cause a drop in blood sodium levels. Sodium is important to your body because it's an electrolyte (just like potassium and chloride). Your cells need these minerals in order to pass electrical impulses to other cells for normal bodily functions. A drop in sodium levels in your blood can cause water to enter your brain, which will cause it to swell. Symptoms include fatigue, headache, disorientation, confusion, hallucinations, nausea, restlessness, seizures, and may result in a coma or death.
(sodium = among other, salt) f**k your doctor. dont drink too little either but dont forget food contains a good amount of liquid too so only drink when thirsty but really, dont listen to that bastard ever again, "drink more to wash away salt" is as bad advice as saying "shoot yourself in the brain to clear away bad memories"
Salt doesn't do that at all. It attracts and retains water outside the body, yes, but if that were true inside the body, then you would overall have more water anyway and pee it out anyway. Doctors believe the stupidest things sometimes.
wow kralmir - you would have to drink gallons of water for any of that stuff to happen
kralmir, don't take medical advice from Wikipedia.
I recently ran about 1.5 km barefoot on asphalt (I was running late and only had high-heels. It was literally the worst thing I have ever done for my feet (except that time I walked around on a broken ankle). The picture in your article had nothing on the blisters on my feet, and a month later, they still haven't fully healed.
ReplyThere are intelligent women. Find one and let her write this article.
ReplyThere are intelligent commenters. Find one and let him write this comment.
1. references a flawed study, they only gave men carb-oriented breakfasts. Obviously, one needs to consider high protein, low carb breakfasts, too. Hello, glucose sensitivity anyone?
ReplyDude, if you're trying to take weight-loss advice from a comedy based website, you probably have bigger problems than trying to lose weight.
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ReplyOh really? I didn't know that! And here I was always going to the shady truck stop on the outside of town to pick up older ladies. It's the best place to find chicks that want to play a little ole "Smokey and the Bandit." And by that I mean sex. And by that I mean masturbating in my Hyundai before going in and ordering an omelette to cry over as I contemplate my sad lonely life. I should have gone to college! OH GOD! WHY!?
When I changed how much water I was taking in, I actually lost 10 lbs in a week with little other changes to my diet. Then again, I'm not sure if it was just "water weight," psychological, or the fact I had to run to the bathroom 3 times an hour. The first week I thought I was drowning but after about two weeks of it I stopped having to pee all the time and then just stayed thirsty most of the time. The wight stayed off though. But that's just 10 lbs for one person's experience.
Replyum you should get your blood sugar levels checked because you might be diabetic...
When you say you 'changed how much water you were taking in', did you increase it or decrease it and by how much or to what?