How To Describe Food So It Doesn't Sound Gross [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How To Make The Most Of Working the Early Shift and How to Deal With Things You Hate for No Reason.
One of my favourites.
Replybwah ha ha!
ReplyHoly sh!t man!
ReplyI like Basic Instructions but I don't care for this one in particular.
Replyyou, sir, make me cryyyyyy
It took me a while but it was suppose to be Beef meatballs not Beefmeat balls.
ReplyWhenever the power goes out it should go out at exactly 12 so you don't have to reset your clock.
ReplyYou mean when the power comes back on, it should be 12?
Cracked takes all kinds... I wonder what the authors think when they read the comments since technically no matter how much people complain, they're obviously still reading.
ReplyI stopped reading Cody's material because out of the few articles I'd read from him, I didn't care for any of it. I guess some people prefer to "torture" themselves.
Cody's been pretty funny lately. You should give it another look
If someone told me piss started tasting like lemonade, I wouldn't believe them either.
You know, just out of curiosity, I checked the website and this guy honestly does have a couple of chuckle-worthy strips. I don't know why Cracked cherry-picks the absolute worst ones.
ReplyYou guys all suck. These comics are hilarious. BEEFMEAT!
Replysimple things please simple minds.
Mactheknife: Like trying to offend other people's intelligence online because they like something you don't?
Me thinks this is supposed to be a 'balls' joke. Although I could be wrong and they're probably just...arrr I give up. This is just plain bad. I hope this guy doesn't actually get paid for this, otherwise I'm going to submit a blank paper to Cracked and become head writer.
Replythis was dumb
ReplyI am 12 and what is this
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesPedobear says, "Hi!"
Have a seat over there.
Hello 12! I'm 178922903!
'This' is a comment!
I like being helpful!
There was a typo on the second man's menu. 'Beefmeat balls' is a phrase that is slang for, well, something rather crass. So they made essentially sex jokes. Come back in a year or two and it'll be funny. :)
Well, so much for your win streak...I'll keep reading though, sometimes you guys still have some bite.
ReplyThese always seem to ruin the joke at the last panel. I think whoever makes these should do 3 instead of 4.
Reply*NM, just realized this comment is over a year old.
Wasnt this one posted before?
ReplyI don't get this one. How hard is it to describe food? Then again not only do I cook I watch food network all the time so perhaps this more about having to describe food if you are kinda dumb.
ReplyThis joke seems awfully contrived if you think about it.
watching food network =/= being able to cook and/or describe food properly.
ha?
ReplyTry being Portuguese. One of my fav things to eat is Black Rice. Its absolutely delicious! But I have yet to find a way to describe it in an appetizing way. You need a live chicken; kill it and drain the blood. Then prepare the chicken meat. Cook it with the rice and add the chicken blood to the pot. As the blood cooks, it turns a very dark black-ish brown.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesSounds disgusting, but trust me, its fantastic.
I tried a different kind of black rice, using pork. The meat was fine, but the pig blood just made the rice taste awful.
i tried to be portuguese once... they wouldn't let me
racists
This comic was about food, not voodoo rituals.
I've had haggis, I think I could handle a little chickens-blood rice
@Rob_Emery - that line had me laughing way harder than the article.
And mcconcubine_il, haggis isn't so bad.
kitsuke's comment made me laugh much harder than the comment but i do prefer 'racist'jokes to 'balls' jokes.
kitsuke and Rob_Emery totally made up for this comic with their comments.. Kudos
Boy, am I grateful for Brazil not being part of Portugal anymore.
I... I don't get it. What was it supposed to be?
ReplyHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE SAID BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reply