Why Conspiracy Theories Always Win [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How to Spread Happiness and provided A Guide to Encountering Douchebags in the Wild .
And seriously, stop complaining about this not being funny. Obviously, some people are not gonna think this was that great, but you don't need to make it seem like everybody else has the shittiest sense of humor or that Cracked is going downhill entirely because of these kinds of comics. I honestly thought that this was hilarious.
ReplyIf you noticed, TheDoranator began his rage-filled, caps-locked, senseless rants at around 5:11 (or as far as I could tell since I didn't bother pressing the load more comments button) all the way until 5:45. Because clearly, harrasing random people on the comments of a comedy site is a great way to spend half-an-hour. Maybe I should start doing that more often.
ReplyThis made me laugh out loud now that I read it as if it were a sitcom.
Replyi like these, but i usually only chuckle. this one made me laugh out loud in every panel.
ReplyLast panel was by far the funniest part.
Replyi'm starting to think that there's a conspiracy of trolls trying to f**k with scott meyer...cause seriously, anyone who doesn't find this funny is missing a bone.
ReplyI'd have thought lots of people would be missing bones after that comic. why conpsiracy theories always win....
This made me laugh so loud my neighbor's rat dog is still barking at me (no matter how many hotdogs I throw at the little f**ker). Bravo sir. Bravo.
ReplyI thought you said my neighbor's rat's dog.
It'd probably shut up if you didn't feed it every time it barked.
Bravo Sir. Made my day.
Replystill crap
Replyno, this one was good. You just can't admit it.
Ending was good.
That's what the astronauts said.
Though I agree that some of these are pretty unfunny, I have to say this one made me smile.
ReplyI don't know what this lot are on about. I got a smile out of this one.
ReplyI've read so many of these thinking "okay this one has to be semi-funny concidering the rest of them sucked.. otherwise cracked wouldnt keep them" ..well i guess i thought wrong. and, in my oppinion, this is stupidity. its not funny. at all. i wasted minuets of my life reading these things that i will never get back.. and now im wasting more time ranting about how terrible they are.. what a life!
Reply Hide All See All 10 RepliesYou must have a busy schedule
Shut up, this comic and there last are hilarious, so go away; the internet doesn't want you here.
@SWEATERVEST...U SUCK AT INSULTS f*gGAT
@TheDoranator: Because, of course, your insult was the epitome of wit and grammer.
minuets? You wasted time that you could have spent performing a 17th century French dance? Impressive. :D
If you hate it so much why are you reading and commenting on it? I mean don't you have something better to do with your life?
@snorlax422: *grammar
Sorry I had to. It was just too ironic.
Anyway, if it took you literally minutes to read that comic, you seriously need to improve your reading skills.
@Jimera0 - Epic win!
Also mate, these lost minutes mean nothing what with the years of education you must have endured, and arrived out of basically illiterate...
...that's not irony.
If these take you minutes to read, maybe you should be spending said minutes learning how. Just a thought.
It made my mom laugh and stop feeling down because of cancer. I think that counts for something.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesShe laughed hard.
Ok, to be honest she was thinking about how she and her mother and grandmother were all cancer survivors, but in a sobering way, not a celebratory way. Dmadlakmdladlks
I love these comics.
This was funnier than the comic.
o.O
I swear, i've given this comic so many chances to be funny, but every time its like goddamn Cathy or Dilbert. I will never intentionally click on these again so long as i draw breath. If i ever see one of these again i will immediately try to catch a bullet with my forehead.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesI dis-agree... the first couple posts of this comic were meh, with too much thinking and awkwardness.. but each one I read gets better and better..
I think it has to do with pessimism vs optimism. Props to the Author for finding your groove finally
you liar. you will keep clicking on the comics just to write your retarded comments about how much they suck
@TINCANHITMAN WELL DONE GENIUS ALSO WE HAVE INVENTED FIRE. U SHUD OFFICCIALLY CHANGE UR NAME TO SHERLOCK EINSTEIN. AGAIN, CONGRATS ON THE PERCEPT.
Sherlock Einstein?
@TheDoranator: The neurologist called. Apparently the concussion was more severe than we thought and may have affected your capacity to reason or even spell. Hopefully we can have it all sorted out soon, but you should avoid stressing that part of your brain by, say, posting on Cracked, for a while.
Dilbert "not funny?" There's no hope for the boy.
This.
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesComic.
Is.
Stupid.
That's it, that's the last time I'm clicking one of these. I've given this comic a chance so many times, but this is the last straw. Next time I will save myself the annoyance and just not even look at it.
I thought this one was great.
I agree with you - the others were pointlessly unfunny but I reckon this one is bordering on humorous.
Have to agree. This is effing awful. It's ugly, unimaginative and UNFUNNY. Cracked, come on! You're a comedy magazine!
Thank you! So many chances constant disappointment.
...Yet you all just keep on reading them and commenting like the annoying p***ks you are
@TinCanHitman THE HYPOCRISY OF YOUR COMMENT DOESNT ESCAPE OUR NOTICE CAWKSUCKER Y DONT U GO BACK TO TONGUING UR DADS ASS AT LEAST U WONT LOOK LIKE SUCH A f*gGAT THEN
"Our" notice?
wow i'm sure scott meyer is crying into his pillow cause he blew it with you.
Every time you click on it to b***h and moan in the comments, you're generating traffic that will keep it here. If you actually hated it as much as you claim to, you'd have figured that out by now.
Explains a ton about the birthers.
ReplyYou can't have sex in space, it lowers your blood pressure so it's impossible to get erect.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesOr IS IT?
Also, that was about the moon, not just "space". There's gravity there, the question's simply "is it enough?". Personally, I dunno, and so far never had a reason to find out.
Perhaps, NonMagicPoet. But you tried and for that you are my hero.
LOL SIGH SCOTT MEYER FANS U REALLY R SO CCCCRAZEEEE CONGRATS ON 12 YR OLD HYPOTHETICALS LOL SEX IN SPACE?!!?!1 ZOMG
TheDoranator, on the other hand, is far above your 12 year old hypotheticals. He's typing on the level of a 13-year-old. That's a one-point lead, for those of you keeping track at home.
Wrong. It is impossible for MEN to have sex in space. Lesbians should do just fine.
@cheesy74 Whoah whoah whoah. I was 13 at one time, and I must say you're insulting my past. Dont go there, sir!
@The atom, there's certain things men can do involving their asses but not their packages...
@lolz2 Please... Never again say that to anybody.
As usual, this comic only gets a smirk. I wonder if that's all he's aiming for when he makes these things.
ReplyI am amused
ReplyThis isn't bad, because it wasn't a bunch of random panels stuck together that managed to relate to the overall joke.
Reply