The Evolution of Fictional Characters by Medium [COMIC]
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That chick looks like a blow up doll. As in, she'd pop if you stuck her with something sharp.
ReplyWow, I haven't seen this many people vote up their own comments in a long time...even comments that already have 20+ up votes.... this is just terrible.
ReplyLol, the sitcom one is used as the page image for the Flanderization page on TV Tropes
ReplyI would so watch that soap movie.
ReplyEspecially if it had that female character in it.
Is the soap one supposed to be a riff on Transformers? I wonder if he can explain to me how you can rationalize a 4-million-year long civil war as "bubbly" and cute? And how actually depicting it as a war with casualties is a bad thing?
Reply Hide All See All 6 Repliesyour point is unsound, as the transformers movies are for dullards,
Soap wars are always bubbly and cute, everybody keeps slipping out of each others hands.
The plot wasn't the problem, it was how the acted it out. The Bay movie was dark and gritty, while the 80s was ridiculously stupid at times. It's stating how something is revamped badly and changed from the original concept. I mean, the 80s cartoon had some zany plot with the decepticons trying to get energy, failing, Starscream ranting, and Optimus stating how he's going to stop Megatron and they all ended up destroying more than they saved. The movie didn't have that light humor, it was s****y diaglouge, humans talking, humans talking, one battle scene, black guy dies first, and Megatron dies. Anyway, it's saying how something, usually a pretty dead franchise, comes back to life to try and turn it into a cash cow franchise because kids who watched the cartoons will want to see it and the kids nowadays will want to see it for robots and teens will want to see it for the s****y fanservice. Though, anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it got revamped in a way no fan wanted to see and it, or any show in this context, looses what made the show 'it' in the first place.
I always thought the joke was "What was once silly and cute when we were kids has now grown up with us to become some dark and gritty crapolla to go with changing times."
It isn't just Transformers but pretty much all new movie revamps of old shows and movies we used to love.
a 4 million year long civil war is the plot devise for Transformers? Wow, they're even lamer than I remembered. And Shia Lebouf is going to help end this war? God that's f*****g retarded
I don't think this was a shot directly at transformers, it's the whole gritty reboot thing that movies decide to do to appeal to the now adult fans of beloved childhood classics. I don't think transformers was a gritty reboot, they made them all dopier and a little slapstick. It was not something I like, but it didn't feel "darker".
I'd watch the hell out of themr. soapy suds movie
ReplyMrs Pac Man is the acception to the rule. She's always been one classy bitch! Even though she is running around naked, but for the bow on her head.
ReplyShe has the sexiest outfit in video gaming.
And sometimes she's seen sporting some sexy boots and silk gloves, which appeals to many fetishists
For the female evolution, can we see the next few steps, if you know what I mean?
Reply7 of 9 in ST:V is a prime example of the female evolution. She started as a borg, and ended in a tight catsuit with her breasts getting paid more than Captain Janeway. LOL
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesalso the storylines were about every being in the galaxy wanting to nail her,hell why stop at the galaxy the episode "Think Tank" had super genius aliens/robots/metaphasic whale-thingy from other dimensions trying to lure her into their pandimentional windowless white van.
And it only took 3 episodes to get her there.
21 thumbs ups for a star trek reference. I see how you are, Cracked readers.
evolutionary phase #1 can blast me all night long if you know what I mean.
Well, at least the female character thing hasn't happened to Samus Ar - wait, what? What the hell is a Zero Suit?! God dammit... Is nothing sacred anymore?!
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesdon't play the new one: other M, made by team ninja, who are best known for the dead or alive series, including beach volleyball
You have to keep in mind, one of the endings to NES metroid showed Samus in a bikini.
Then you won't want to input the "Justin Bailey" password for the original Metroid. LOL
Then you shouldn't play Metroid Fusion. Samus spends the whole game in the Zero Suit.
soap, the gritty reboot...the best thing on this page, im just speechless
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesWasn't that what Fight Club was about?
mischief, mayhem, soap
I'll be really disappointed if Billy Crystal doesn't have at least a cameo in it.
Yeah, it's like fight club but, y'know, cleaner.
Ba dum tish
I'd actually be afraid of the first incarnation of the female character up there. She looks like she knows how to use that gun! The second one, still looks somewhat competent, but the last two...Don't rely on her to actually shoot the big monster gnawing on your face.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesBut look! Ass! Asssssss! Tiiiiits! AAAASSSS!
The point is that I am here to make sure the monster get shot. And if I am forced to watch a female ass the whole time I sure want it to be nice.
but boobies
Brilliant. The sitcom character one is all too true.
ReplyHOW THE HELL DID THEY MAKE SOAP LOOK BADASS!?
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesever get any in your urethra? soap is plenty badass!
no, i haven't ever got soap in my urethra. and i'm not sure how you have.
Really, Anaris? Really? Read the beginning of Chuck P.'s Haunted for more disturbing details about puberty.
Totally true about sitcom characters. For example, Dan Fielding started as the straight man and near the end of the series he was bordering on creepy sex offender who wouldn't leave women alone.
Replyefore anymore more people open their mouth and put their foot in it you might like to know the author of this comic is a man. You know what I'm talking about.
ReplyI don't know what you're talking about. I'm not seeing how that effects anything.
This comment is bad and you should feel bad.
Even female characters without armor too often get the sexed-up treatment. Once they start dating, costumers feel the need to show off their breasts and butts. I suppose they think we're too stupid to figure out what their dates see in them.
Reply Hide All See All 11 RepliesHow many of you men PREFER the competent professional to the catsuited T&A display? Probably more than will admit it in public. Especially if you're in the coveted demographic.
I actually kinda want to see a game/comic involving the first version of the female character. I imagine she'd be pretty awesome.
i play games to be entertained and challenged, not to jerk off, that's why metroid is one of the best games with a female lead (except for other m)
No, just no. The Other M is just... No. That killed the series for me. Ugh, all the whining. I never knew Samus was so emo.
She isn't. Other M isn't canon. I refuse to accept the idea that it is.
The rest of the games were seriously awesome though.
The only friends of mine who actually like the skimpy outfits all watch anime adamantly and are pretty much worthless as people. Make of that what you will.
It's kind of silly and stupid to care about the gender of the game character unless that knowledge is a key part of the story or adds to suspension of belief as far as the gaming experience goes. As for T&A, I don't mind. If someone doesn't like it, then don't play the game. It's not that hard.
jamesru: maybe for you. i actually invest in game characters and find it enjoyable and entertaining to attempt to play the character.
it actually makes me a little bit sad when i watch my friends play games and go "oh, who's this bitch? my fiancé, love of my life? right, shoot her, she's female so she's annoying."
anaris: I'm not sure why anyone would "invest" in a game character that they had no hand in making. I could understand if it were an mmo character but this is a standard character trotted out for play, who we don't pay much attention to in the first place and even less so in a first person game character. It seems unnecessary in many ways but then again, a person can do what they want game-wise so who am I (or we) to judge as far as games go?
Honestly, I actually think that the first female character there is more attractive.
@Luprand
It's called Halo Reach.
@Omega.Serris
I'm sorry someone who watched her parents get killed by a robot pterydaoctl is "emo."
@MrDerpe
It's just one of those weird things between fictional characters and real people. We expect the fictional characters to remain stoic and stable throughout their whole lives, no matter what s**t they've gone through.
the female character needs more tits. and more ass. but more tits, too.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesalso more ass.
tiiiiiiiits.
Just came from his article on games where this is on a game design box. Hilarious.
And less suit :P
I stopped liking subnormality when the author became a preachy feminazi slacker who gets mad at people who are mad because they wasted money on bad survice.
Reply Hide All See All 17 RepliesApparently, if someone makes a joke about how women are depicted in movies, they're a "feminazi". (That term's always been f**king annoying, since Hitler was anti-feminist.) Also, you misspelled "service".
"Feminazi" is an entirely valid term, feminists employ Nazi tactics all the time.
You're right CaptainVideo. I remember that time when feminists murdered an entire population.
Haha. It's like you don't have a mind of your own and just react on instinct, spitting slogans and half-formed ideas out after managing to suss out the "hidden secret meaning" that noone else did.
...Which makes sense, considering it was Rush who came up with the term "feminazi".
My ideas are fully formed, it's called abortion.
Also it's dumb to say "noone else did," I noticed it and Owlhatman noticed it.
^ Doesn't get sarcasm.
v Is wrong. Or right.
Are you sure Hitler was sexist? I mean everything else aside I always found amazing how he got the female population on his side and how he appreciated their importance to society. That aside, the term feminazi in itself is just so wrong on every level. I assume Owlhatman is a twelve year old. If you criticize a comedian for having an opinion different to yours it kind of makes you a facist. Other than that this comic went right over my head.
Hitler wasn't sexist in the sense of 'hating all things female', he was sexist in the sense of 'women have their place and that's where they should stay'. Those are different issues, though they often overlap.
Feminazi refers to man-hating, not pointing out that women in games are approached with the mindset of a 12 year old boy.
Subnormality's author is a male.
Past feminism was good, seeking equality. Now the original meaning is gone and they now want control.
Yeah, like being vegetarians.
Feminists employ nazi tactics? Really? Please point me to the nearest concentration camp for men. No? Can't point out a single one? Then please stop with the limbaugh terms
Yes.
Fighting for female rights is JUST like invading Poland.
Hitler was the first national leader to encourage regular self-screening for breast cancer. Just tossing that out there.
I could see a connection in the whole scapegoating and promoting hate towards an entire group of people. Femnazi isnt a synonym for feminist, its a term for radical feminism that looses sight of the original goal of seeking equality and instead seeks unending battle and to bathe in the blood of their enemies.
Funny article indeed!
Reply