6 People You've Never Heard of Who Probably Saved Your Life
It's interesting how a man can become a local hero by saving just one life--or how a fictional character can be considered a superhero by saving a few thousand--when there are people relatively unknown to history who have saved many, many times more.
These are men and women who saved millions of lives, without whom you might not exist, and whose names likely never came up in your history class.
#6.
Vasili Alexandrovich Arkhipov
Nuclear war... Doomsday... WWIII... forget about everything Stanley Kubrick, James Cameron or (God forbid) Alan Moore ever mused on the subject. Fact is stranger than fiction, and the truth is we came closer to nuclear annihilation than even the most taut Cold War thriller would let on. More than once.
For instance, you probably know that during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. and USSR came closer to nuclear war than ever before. But you probably don't know that if it weren't for one man, we would all be wandering around a charred, radioactive wasteland today. And that guy wasn't JFK.
It's 1962, communist Cuba had gone nuclear, John F. Kennedy had the entire island under quarantine, Nikita Khrushchev was not intimidated by the young president and Kevin Costner's reputation as a legitimate actor was on the line.
For real, they cloned Bobby Kennedy for this movie.
In the center of this hot-zone was the nuclear-armed Soviet Foxtrot class submarine B-59, which on October 27, 1962 decided whether you personally would be alive right now. While surrounded by a group of 11 U.S. destroyers and the aircraft carrier USS Randolph, the submarine was eventually subjected to a barrage of depth charges.
Taking this as the opening shots of WWIII (which they kind of were), Captain Valentin Grigorievitch Savitsky ordered the B-59's nuclear-tipped missile be launched in retaliation to the U.S. surface ships. Had this been the case, it is likely that the U.S., USSR, Cuba and most of Europe would have had a full shooting-war on their hands, cowboy hats and all.
Picture this happening about 30,000 times, and all at once.
That is, if not for a guy named Vasili Arkhipov.
According to Director of the National Security Archive Thomas Blanton and former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, a guy called Vasili Arkhipov "saved the world". The thing is, to launch a nuke, the top three Soviets on the B-59 needed a unanimous vote. Captain Savitsky and Political Officer Ivan Semonovich Maslennikov were all for it, but Arkhipov, a mere second-in-command, was not all that wild about wiping out human civilization.
The three got into an argument, and Arkhipov eventually persuaded the political officer that nuking the U.S. Navy was a bad idea, and that they should resurface instead (even if it meant, you know, death). Captain Savitsky was not happy with this, but since he did not have the votes to go nuclear, the submarine surfaced, and the crisis was averted. So yeah, find out where Vasili Arkhipov is buried right now, and send him a fruit basket large enough to be seen from freaking space. He may have been a communist, but you owe him your damned life.
Of course, after that terrifyingly close call the U.S. and Soviets realized we were all walking a tightrope above a pool of lava, and that we should make peace with one other before tripping into Armageddon. Ha! Nope: We kept the Cold War going for decades afterward and in fact came just as close to annihilation again thanks to a false alarm in the 1980s (the Soviets had false radar signals showing the U.S. had launched on them.) Yet another Soviet officer, Stanislav Petrov, would risk everything by standing down.
Man, the Soviets sure saved our asses a lot during our war against the...Soviets.
#5.
James Harrison, GoldenArm
James Harrison has magical blood.
Specifically, his blood contains an extremely rare enzyme that can be used to treat babies dying of Rhesus disease. If you've never heard of that disease and figure it's not a big deal, well, wait for the numbers.
Harrison, being a generous type, has donated his rare, life-saving blood roughly 1,000 times over 56 years. This has saved the lives of--seriously, you're not going to believe this--over two million babies around the world.
His dedication to blood donation has earned him the nickname "the man with the golden arm," which makes us feel like douchebags for giving that nickname to NFL quarterbacks instead. Any way you cut it, saving two million babies is always going to trump saving a game with a choice interception.
"Yeah, two million. I'm hoping to hit three, but whatever. I'm in it for the babies."
The whole thing is kind of a "pay it forward" situation for Harrison, who needed major chest surgery when he was 13-years old, and soaked up 13 liters of blood over the course of three months. "The blood I received saved my life so I made a pledge to give blood when I was 18." This has turned out to be the second most important vow in history.
Not only is he continuing to save lives every day now that he's entering his twilight years, but his blood has also been used to develop a vaccine called Anti-D to keep those babies safe. Forever.
#4.
Viktor Zhdanov & Donald Henderson
While most extinctions are really nothing mankind should brag about (except for that smartass giant bear), the successful war humanity waged against the Variola virus--better known as smallpox--spanned over 10,000 years, claimed 500 million lives, required a U.S./Soviet alliance to crush and is generally something that the entire world can be proud of.
Like this, only real.
It all started in 1958, when the sinister-sounding Dr. Viktor Zhdanov, Deputy Minister of Health for the USSR, proposed to the World Health Assembly that a global effort be launched to eradicate smallpox: one of the oldest, deadliest and most painful diseases in human history. Since this offered the Free World their best chance to do something productive with the Soviets now that Yuri's Revenge was over, the planet held on to their butts, and signed off on the idea.
The initiative was accepted, and eventually headed by American physician Donald Henderson, M.D., who basically agreed to play the role of Dr. House for the duration of the whole world-saving thing. Thanks to Dr. Zhdanov's brilliant (and we can't help but suspect secretly evil) vision and Dr. Henderson's American-made true grit, these real life Avengers won humanity's war against smallpox through globally-administered teamwork and vaccinations.
However, the virus is still alive in laboratories under round-the-clock supervision by U.S. and Russian personnel just in case, you know, either side chooses to weaponize their sample.
Hey, even if these guys don't show up, we still have plenty of brave Russian soldiers we can count on to stop the other Russians for us.
Y'know, that whole possible weaponizing of smallpox thing is why I got vaccinated for it after joining the military. They take that possibility seriously, although I hope both sides are smart enough to know better.
ReplyThis really makes my gesture of paying for a stranger's coffee at Starbucks seem like I'm just not trying hard enough, even when those coffees cost a Golden Arm and a third leg.
ReplyKeep in mind, Norman Borlaug then created Chlorine gas, led the first battle of chemical warfare, and his wife killed herself and he didn't give a shit. Went back out for battle the next day. Then some Nazis found the pesticide his colleagues were working on with his knowledge and told them to remake it in the gas they used in concentration camps. I'm not sure if you can completely call him a good guy.
Reply"Since this offered the Free World their best chance to do something productive with the Soviets now that Yuri's Revenge was over, the planet held on to their butts, and signed off on the idea."
ReplyCommand & Conquer AND Jurassic Park fan. You, sir, are awesome.
"Jesus Christ ... cue bunnies." Those bunnies are so cute they make you forget bad things for a moment. Good choice of a picture.
ReplyNorman Borlaug! You're doing it right, Cracked!
ReplyWhen he died, Penn Jillette referred to Borlaug as the "Greatest Human Who Ever Lived." He was right.
"In contrast, the greatest thing we ever invented after dropping out of college was the bacon cannon. And that, if anything, probably cost lives."
ReplyAwesome.
...Anyone else feel like a total a*****e after reading this?
ReplyYep, and I felt like a bigger one about the list of kids who changed the world.
So what recognition has James Harrison gotten? "Well he was nominated for Australian of the Year... and didn't win."
ReplyThat's pretty much it.
And that's seriously messed up.
Hey man, don't knock the bacon cannon.
Replyhad to stop reading this article after the first line where he dissed alan moore. f**k this guy.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI was pissed too, but it's actually a pretty good article.
You can't be serious. He was just making a lighthearted reference. He wasn't dissing him. Also, who stops reading a comedy article after they make a little joke about someone (that isn't even related to their person)?
No way! A Cracked writer made fun of someone? Gasp!
The HeLa cells were the cancer cells that were killing Henrietta. They were multiplying too quickly for the doctors to help her. I don't mean to downgrade her role in all of this, but how many people know the name of the doctor who discovered that these cells were immortal and developed a process to maintain them(George Gey, btw)? The book states that Hopkins took advantage of this woman by removing a sample of the cancer cells (because may
ReplyBecause may what?!
I've heard of Norman Borlaug before from Penn and Teller Bullshit. The rest I've never heard of. Henrietta Lacks' story was amazing.
ReplyWeird. In Europe the name of Henri Dunant is usually connected to Florence Nightingale. Dunant was the only one I had heard of before reading this article.
Me too, same source (they even quoted the same thing penn said in that episode "...that's billion. With a B!" Yeah that guy kicked ass. There was a tiny article in the NY times when he died a few years ago.
GoldenArm was a fun N64 game back in the day...
ReplyEr . . . GoldenEYE was the N64 game you played all day, whereas GoldenARM was the closest thing you had a girlfriend because you played Goldeneye all day.
Considering the title of the article stating I've never heard of these people, I'm pretty lucky to actually have met one of them (Donald Henderson). He is a good friend of my professor for History of Vaccinations and came and gave a long lecture then talked with all the students afterwards. Awesome man, can't believe all the sacrifices he went through in order to rid the world of such a horrific disease.
ReplyAs for Henrietta Lacks, they actually made all of the students in my class at Hopkins read the book you have in the article. Basically their way of saying "yeah, we know we screwed up, here read about it".
Smallpox isn't just in labs - there have been outbreaks here and there. A couple were after excavations, one or two were just because it's a freaking virus. Until you've got 100% herd immunity (meaning, vaccinate the entire world's population and ensure every single person born on the planet is vaccinated) and 0 hosts for the virus, it won't die.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThat's all very true if you choose to ignore the fact the last known case of smallpox was in 1978.
Herd immunity means you have enough of a vaccinated population that people who cannot tolerate the vaccine still have no chance of infection.
I think they should credit where it's due: Jonas Saulk, who didn't make any effort to profit off it all.
The sad story about Norman Borlaug is that after he did all of this, Greenpeace and other hippie nonsense succeeded in convincing foreign leaders that the food would mutate their populace into monsters and dubbed it "Frankenfood," thus ensuring the starvation of people who finally had a chance at a decent meal.... Thanks a*****es.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesThe REALLY sad story about Norman Borlaug is that the "Green Revolution" crops by and large only produce more food because of massive application of fertilizer and pesticides. Not only does this lead to environmental degradation, but the fertilizer and pesticides are almost all produced from petrochemicals and will eventually be too expensive for most farmers to use. Then you have a huge population with a dwindling food supply. Yay! Progress!
The even sadder story about this is none of that can be proved. You probably heard the cries of a bunch of fanatics "scientists", and think you are the all-grand protector of the environrment and such nonsense. The "evil" fertilizers have save millions of life all around the world, specially in poor countries who can't afford to be an uptight ecoclown because, you know, they are trying to survive. Shame on you.
@Mr. Purple I'll use Norman Borlaug's words: "Food is the moral right of all who are born into this world." How dare you try deprive starving, poor people of the very life you clearly take for granted? Have you ever encountered a starving child? I honestly wish I could put you in a room with a person from country that doesn't have the luxury of three meals a day. I want to watch you explain to this person that they can't have the same crops and agricultural techniques that make food an afterthought to you. I need to hear you tell them their life and their family's life is worth less to you than a forest you will never visit. It's sick to make judgements like your's sitting in comfort. How could you have any empathy at all?
The saddest story is that you people don't know each other and still threaten each other.
You know, Norman Borlaug pretty much singlehandedly saved India from a massive famine in the 60's too. His Agricultural Revolution is also the reason India doesn't have regular food shortages anymore. How many nations have environmental lobbies saved?
Sooo... I should spin kick a hippie's trachea out of his smelly throat?
Millions of people saved, and, due to excess pollution from over population, one planet destroyed.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesI guess genocide is the answer.. f**king retard.
Poverty causes overpopulation, a*****e. Poor people, for various reasons, produce s**tloads of kids. Prosperous countries actually sometimes go into population decline (like Germany for a while) because people have so few children. How many women on your street have 10+ kids, d*****t?
It's true, here in the great white north we face a dilemma of an aging population.
There are ways of fighting pollution beyond mere conservation.
Then put your shotgun where your mouth is and do your part to solve the problem.
Hooray for James Harrison and Anti-D! My babies and I rely on that stuff. :)
ReplyNorman Borlaug also opposes the whole 'organic farming' movement because in his words, "I don't see 4 billion people stepping forward [to die]."
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesThat quote sounds a bit out of context, and doesn't seem to relate to any opposition of organic farming.
A Swiss University did a research on organic milk. Turns out there's no difference between the regular one and the organic one.
Organic farming has one major advantage: less dependence on fossil fuels to produce it. Those fertilizers and pesticides don't just appear out of nowhere, you know.
The Green Revolution seems good until one realizes that it can only be sustained for a finite period of time.
Organic farming is just another politically correct nonsense.
Wouldn't the organic milk be the "regular" one?
what he said is
"Producing food for 6.2 billion people, adding a population of 80 million more a year, is not simple. We better develop an ever improved science and technology, including the new biotechnology, to produce the food that's needed for the world today." In response to the fraction of the world population that could be fed if current farmland was converted to organic-only crops: "We are 6.6 billion people now. We can only feed 4 billion. I don't see 2 billion volunteers to disappear."
also, another great quote of his is
"Some of the environmental lobbyists of the western nations are the salt of the earth, but many of them are elitists. They have never experienced the physical sensation of hunger. They do their lobbying from comfortable office suites in Washington or Brussels. If they lived just one month amid the misery of the developing world, as I have for fifty years, they would be crying out for tractors, and fertilizer, and irrigation canals, and be outraged that fashionable elitists back home were trying to deny them these things."
and Purple, you, are a moron.
What Asher said.
No, the difference between organic and regular milk is the effect the production has on the ecosystem.