5 Ways People Are Taking Harry Potter Waaay Too Seriously
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Readers everywhere have fallen in love with the tale of a magical boy who escapes a decade of child abuse only to wind up in a facility with a worse child-safety record than the Industrial Revolution. Unfortunately, humanity's ability to simply enjoy the Harry Potter books and get on with their lives ended the very second two computers were connected together. These days, the rule of fandom is anything worth doing, is worth overdoing, often to a terrifying degree. Just take a look at... #5.
The Wizard Rock Festival
In what can only be an attempt by rogue mathematicians to create an actual physical empty set, someone organized the overlap of "Rock Festival Attendees" and "Hardcore Harry Potter Fans" in Brooklyn last September. If you've already guessed that the bands all had names like "The Cedric Diggorys" and "The Remus Lupins," well done on recovering from that attack on your faith in humanity faster than we did.
Tickets actually sold out, with 20 Muggle dollars earning you Wrock festival attendance (if you were wondering, yes, "Wrock" is "rock" about wizardly subjects). Though now that we look at it, it says about 300 fans and 17 bands turned up, a ratio that they could have managed if each band just got their friends and family to fork over the cash. Behold the face of Wrocking Out:
Wait a second, that's... a lot of girls there. Maybe the young dudes in the audience know something the rest of us don't, like that guy we all laughed at when he made it onto the cheerleading squad. This raises many, many questions, such as, do those dudes hit on the girls by claiming they got there by accident? "Yeah, it's OK I guess, but I only bought a ticket because I thought 'wrock' was wrestling where the dudes get to bash each other with rocks." Or is the opposite? Is this the one place on Earth where some 16-year-old dude actually increases his chances by openly recognizing the banner of Gryffindor on the wall? Will he win the heart of that girl on the left by telling her she looks like Cho Chang? #4.
The Intercollegiate Quidditch Association
As we mentioned yesterday, Quidditch is an incredible sport based entirely around magic and making the actions of everyone except a single primary character utterly irrelevant. This makes it the best movie game ever, but the most impossibly bad candidate for a real sport since synchronized shitting.
And if we told you a bunch of schools had organized a Quidditch league, you'd say, "Aww, that's so cute." Which is why we put "Intercollegiate" in the title; this isn't elementary schools, or perhaps kindergartens for the specially-differently-abled. Real actual universities like Princeton, McGill and Boston University have full-fledged Quidditch teams. Possibly as a "if we have to cut budgets we know where to start" measure. Oh, there's video: There's an easy way to tell if you're playing a real sport or just failing to realize you're four-years-old: Are you carrying a piece of equipment that doesn't do anything? In a real sport you carry a stick if you intend to hit an object (baseball), other people (kendo) or both (ice hockey). In Quidditch, you waddle along like an arts-degree penguin clutching the kind of broomstick that makes witches say, "Don't worry, it happens to every wizard."
Though we will say that once jetpack technology becomes common and inexpensive, this will be the most awesome fucking sport in the world. #3.
The Politician Who Must Not Be Named
A Russian man legally changed his name to "Harry Potter" in an attempt to win an election for governor and, while frighteningly insane, is by far not the worst thing a 32-year-old could be doing by pretending to be Harry Potter. We're not experts on Russian government procedure (and if the last 50 years are anything to go by, neither are they) but we're fairly sure that 12-year-olds don't get to vote. And magical interference in elections is punished by the ghosts of the KGB. Oh, and you're not allowed to use a changed name in a Russian election anyway. Kind of an afterthought at this point, since if the voters were going to elect the guy, really they kind of deserved what they got.
What's even more outrageous is that we're thinking this guy wasn't a Harry Potter fan at all. If so, he would have known those Soviet Durmstrang wizards from Goblet of Fire would kick the shit out of the snotty Hogwarts rejects any day of the magical week. If you're going to go with a fake wizard name on a Russian ballot, you need to put "Viktor Krum" on that shit. |
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Yeah, I agree with Choklad. The line between Voldemort-ruled Harry Potter world in book 7 and Nazi-ruled Europe is pretty blurry. I can see that statement if you didn't read the last book, but there's pretty much no way anyone half way through high school or older could have missed that unless they were suffering from brain injuries. Sorry, but good points just went down the drain due to a lack of research.
LOL! all fandoms are crazy! hello, twilight's edward cullen dildo?!
You forgot to mention the people who are scared to death that these fictional books are going to turn there impressionable young children in to satanic wizards...like omg little billy is going to start sacrificing goats on a stone alter because he read this made up story about magic that's not based on any fact...
Yes, you can come live in my world.
"If you can make parallels between the Holocaust and Harry Potter and honestly believe you're contributing to society, keep your ass at least one ICBM range away from our boots."
Dear article author, didn't anyone ever tell you to *read* books you're writing about? JK Rowling's taking inspiration for the atrocities comitted in the last book from Hitler's persecution of the Jews is so obvious to anyone who has read the seventh book that I can only assume you 1: haven't read it but still think you're wise enough to call anyone who does see the parallels a moron or 2: you honestly don't see the similarities. If 2 is correct, it might be time to read up on your WWII history. If 1, how about taking some pride in your writing, making sure you don't put **** up on the internet?
You people are way too judgemental! I bet half of you play magic or world of warcraft and your just intimidated my a new fad and you feel like insignificant losers,so you have to compensate by making others feel bad. Also what's up with all the advertisements?
Far be it from me to tell someone not to do something that makes them happy (excluding the livejournal thing), but there are certain things that you can't do and not reasonably expect to be ridiculed.
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Whoever wrote this article takes himself waaaaay to seriously.
Really ?lol.........Just heard that he is ho-oking up with a nice gi-rl on the inter-esting cl-ub called: ____Tallconnect.COM____, really ? Sounds it is a famoaus on-line service.
How can you have Quidditch without magic? Quidditch involves flying balls and flying players. Then again, maybe I should actually watch the video you guys provided. Nah, it's as likely as me reading page 2 of this article.
okay this is what "some guy" told me and i swear i did not think this up....:
Grindelwald Geller beaten in 1945 !!! He had internment camps for his enemies etc and a slogan over said "concentration camp" ( wow just like ausschwitz!)
Grindelwald had a symbol which originally had a different meaning than it used to be. in the real world the swastika was actually a symbol with positive connotations before hitler fucked it up.
The british did not help the poor europeans under grindelwald until one famous british dude named dumbledore attacked them out of shame ( okay this is a little bit more far-fetched)
Voldemort: At first normal people agreed with him -> That happened to Hitler too btw.
People with dirty blood are being thrown into jail
After Voldemort ist beaten, many of his supporters get out of conviction, because they said that they were controlled by magic. In real world many got out of jail because they were needed and their number one excuse was: I was just doing orders.
and these are all just things that pop into my... eh his mind ( that guy i talked about earlier...)
Wait, hold on....Intercollegiate Quidditch kinda looks like rugby played by the kids at school too afraid to play rugby....
Just when you thought that people couldn't get much dumber.....
Actually they can, but I digress.
How about the dickheads that think that words from the series belong in the f*****g dictionary.
Here is another way that people are taking Harry Potter way the hell to seriously.....buying tickets to the damn movies!
See if you take this seriously:
http://criminal-corruption.info/register.php?REF=7
Let me know, and see you all later!
You're saying the evil wizards were effectively Nazis?
...Now I cant look at "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" without feeling a little depressed.
harry potter and the holocaust? jesus.
The fact that there are 6 Harry Potter bands to headline a Wizard Rock Festival is both scary and hilarious! Where were Harry and the Potters that night?
How the f**k do you not see the parallels between the holocaust and harry potter?
A leader who believes that those with unclean blood should be slaves to the wizardly "superior" race or destroyed.
Also voldemort is half human, isn't Hitler half jewish? (seriously I have never bothered to fact check that)
Also Draco and his dad, who are basically the epitome of death eaters are depicted as having blond hair and blue eyes
There are countless parallels are similarities.
God I feel like a f*****g geek, I need to go outside.....
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My university, yes, UNIVERSITY, is starting a quiddich team.
Author's draw on all sorts of ideas, especially ones where the evil really gets their ass kicked after being really, really evil for a while.
Pulling on the Holocaust as an outline for the story isn't the weirdest or worst thing an author has done.