5 Ways People Are Taking Harry Potter Waaay Too Seriously
Readers everywhere have fallen in love with the tale of a magical boy who escapes a decade of child abuse only to wind up in a facility with a worse child-safety record than the Industrial Revolution. Unfortunately, humanity's ability to simply enjoy the Harry Potter books and get on with their lives ended the very second two computers were connected together.
These days, the rule of fandom is anything worth doing, is worth overdoing, often to a terrifying degree. Just take a look at...
#5.
The Wizard Rock Festival
In what can only be an attempt by rogue mathematicians to create an actual physical empty set, someone organized the overlap of "Rock Festival Attendees" and "Hardcore Harry Potter Fans" in Brooklyn last September. If you've already guessed that the bands all had names like "The Cedric Diggorys" and "The Remus Lupins," well done on recovering from that attack on your faith in humanity faster than we did.
Tickets actually sold out, with 20 Muggle dollars earning you Wrock festival attendance (if you were wondering, yes, "Wrock" is "rock" about wizardly subjects). Though now that we look at it, it says about 300 fans and 17 bands turned up, a ratio that they could have managed if each band just got their friends and family to fork over the cash.
Behold the face of Wrocking Out:
Wait a second, that's... a lot of girls there. Maybe the young dudes in the audience know something the rest of us don't, like that guy we all laughed at when he made it onto the cheerleading squad.
This raises many, many questions, such as, do those dudes hit on the girls by claiming they got there by accident? "Yeah, it's OK I guess, but I only bought a ticket because I thought 'wrock' was wrestling where the dudes get to bash each other with rocks."
Or is the opposite? Is this the one place on Earth where some 16-year-old dude actually increases his chances by openly recognizing the banner of Gryffindor on the wall? Will he win the heart of that girl on the left by telling her she looks like Cho Chang?
#4.
The Intercollegiate Quidditch Association
As we mentioned yesterday, Quidditch is an incredible sport based entirely around magic and making the actions of everyone except a single primary character utterly irrelevant. This makes it the best movie game ever, but the most impossibly bad candidate for a real sport since synchronized shitting.
And if we told you a bunch of schools had organized a Quidditch league, you'd say, "Aww, that's so cute." Which is why we put "Intercollegiate" in the title; this isn't elementary schools, or perhaps kindergartens for the specially-differently-abled. Real actual universities like Princeton, McGill and Boston University have full-fledged Quidditch teams. Possibly as a "if we have to cut budgets we know where to start" measure.
Oh, there's video:
There's an easy way to tell if you're playing a real sport or just failing to realize you're four-years-old: Are you carrying a piece of equipment that doesn't do anything? In a real sport you carry a stick if you intend to hit an object (baseball), other people (kendo) or both (ice hockey). In Quidditch, you waddle along like an arts-degree penguin clutching the kind of broomstick that makes witches say, "Don't worry, it happens to every wizard."
Though we will say that once jetpack technology becomes common and inexpensive, this will be the most awesome fucking sport in the world.
#3.
The Politician Who Must Not Be Named
A Russian man legally changed his name to "Harry Potter" in an attempt to win an election for governor and, while frighteningly insane, is by far not the worst thing a 32-year-old could be doing by pretending to be Harry Potter.
We're not experts on Russian government procedure (and if the last 50 years are anything to go by, neither are they) but we're fairly sure that 12-year-olds don't get to vote. And magical interference in elections is punished by the ghosts of the KGB. Oh, and you're not allowed to use a changed name in a Russian election anyway. Kind of an afterthought at this point, since if the voters were going to elect the guy, really they kind of deserved what they got.
What's even more outrageous is that we're thinking this guy wasn't a Harry Potter fan at all. If so, he would have known those Soviet Durmstrang wizards from Goblet of Fire would kick the shit out of the snotty Hogwarts rejects any day of the magical week. If you're going to go with a fake wizard name on a Russian ballot, you need to put "Viktor Krum" on that shit.
You think the mudblood crackdown WASN'T an allegory for the Holocaust? But the joke's on the Livejournal people, the US Supreme Court rules that it doesn't matter that the underage person in the drawing isn't real, it's still illegal. Though if they lost the brooms, Quiddich might be fun...
ReplyPolitician who must not be named and he's Harry Potter? The person who wrote this article clearly doesn't know s**t about Harry Potter.
ReplyOkay, so the guy changing his name to Harry Potter and the pedophilia thing is some really bad aspects of the Harry Potter fanbase. But I don't think the other things are taking it too far. It's just fans of a widely popular novel converging and having fun. There are all sorts of cons and Lumos 2006 was just more specified towards Harry Potter. Wizard Rock is not the first, or last, tribute band genre to be made towards movies, TV shows or books. Also, playing Quidditch would be fun to do once. It's like a childhood dream of mine. As far as geek culture/fan culture goes, the cons and quidditch games is the same as any other big book/movie following.
ReplyI have played Quidditch, I was the snitch. It's really fun if you remove yourself from the absurdity of what you're doing.
I loved the books and have them all, even the offshoots that JK Rowling did for the UK (Harry's Schoolbooks). I loved the movies. I have them all. But when it's all said and done, they are all (sadly, but perhaps for the best, all things considered) works of fiction. Too many people don't know the difference between fact and fantasy. I knew some Dragon Riders from Pern once. I also met a couple of Amazons from Darkover. (At least that's where they seemed to think they were from.) So the phenomena really isn't limited to Harry Potter. Lonely misfits look for places they belong and I guess that fiction offers a safe haven.
ReplyBut Snape and Hermione? Really? That's sort of like shrimp with catshit sauce.
How is "diagonally" (took me years to realize it was a pun) the opposite of "straight"? If you move diagonally you are moving straight in a direction which is neither forward/backward, nor left/right.
ReplyOkay, okay, what if we added woodland creatures to Qudditch? Wait, think about it, it's a lot harder to through a raccoon through a hoop than a ball, and if the seeker can catch that squirrel and keep his fingers, his team deserves to win.
ReplyActually, according to The History of Quidditch, the original Snitch was an indigenous finch of some kind. When the game became wildly popular with the Wizarding World the bird approached extinction so the little magical golden ball with wings was created, thus saving the fictional finch from fictional extinction.
Someone reads a bit too much Newt Scamander :P
Sure, write an article that reeks of arrogance and post it online isn't taking it too seriously, I can't see the logic there. Really, I can.
ReplyI'm thinking that in the future, when they finally invent hoverboards, we could then play real Quidditch.
ReplyDrawing parallels between the Jewish persecution and the belief of Aryan superiority to Voldemort's persecution of muggles and belief of pureblood superiority is acceptable because J.K Rowling intended those similarities to be obvious. If can't see that for yourself then I'm sorry for you. I mean, it's Harry Potter, it's not a particularly challenging piece of literature, now is it? Would you hold that same arguement against the graphic novel Maus?
Reply Hide All See All 5 Replieswell someone attended the symposium.
Agreed, the comparisons are so obvious you'd need to be a retard on ruphis to not see them, but I think that he was pointing out was that such a topic would do nothing but set a new record for the HP/Political Agenda density competition.
Drawing parallels between a horrific, real-life event and a fictional piece of wizard-based literature lacks a certain amount of empathy. And there's nothing gained in doing it beyond a) "Look at the parallels!" and b) "See, this is meaningful literature". Whether or not the comparison is meant to be made doesn't make it any less superficial and meaningless.
He wasn't contesting that the connection was not obvious but that it was despicable and downright exploitative to make it in the first place. Just because there is a potential connection doesn't make it ok to draw attention to it. Some things are best left unsaid, especially when it belittles the REAL plight of millions of REAL people.
If Harry Potter was a touching, thoughtful attempt at examining the persecution of those effected by the holocaust, by all means go ahead but when you are taking such a delicate topic and drawing parallels between it and a fantasy novel for children not only are you embarrassing yourself you're embarrassing the entire Harry Potter community.
ps. If you do not think Maus is a well handled, thought-provoking insight into the Holocaust then that is your opinion, however it is undeniable that it was intended to be so. Just because it uses an unconventional medium for that message does not make it aimed at children or in any way comparable to Harry Potter. So in answer to your question no, I would not hold the same argument against Maus. Not at all.
So it's ok to have a comic book version of the holocaust, but if you discuss how a character in a book who believed his race was superior, all other inferior and should be killed/enslaved mirrored a time in history, THAT'S over the line? really?
Meh. The reason we're frowny face about paedophilia is that the kids in question aren't physically or mentally prepared for the relationships they're getting into. The Harry Potter "kids" on the other hand, were generally depicted as pretty darn grown up physically and mentally superior to 99% of humanity. Not my cup of tea, but I'm not going to call Chris Hansen over it.
ReplyI bet the FBI would be really curious to see YOUR search history if that's your mindset...
I don't necessarily believe it's going ''too far'' per say. It's nice that fans assemble like this for literature.
ReplyBy the way, my German lit professor told us that 'Durmstrang' was an anagram of Sturm und Drang (the Storm and Stress artistic movement) without the 'und'.
ReplySo it wasn't an anagram at all...
Well, that read like a giant, biased PSA against lolicon and shotacon. Cracked, I know it isn't your fault. Just fire this writer.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLolicon is animated child porn. I know you know that, but I just want to illustrate that. What you're saying is that it's bad writing when someone speaks out against animated child porn.
It's obviously a conspiracy against our precious child porn.
Why do you hate freedom, McKinney? Why do you hate justice?
Sorry to burst your bubble there mate but most people consider lolicon and shotacon (especially when its non-consensual) pretty unsavoury, bordering on disgusting. I know, shock horror right?!
Don't judge me, but I actually love Wizard Rock. Yea, I know, nerdy, but some of the songs are actually so good. The only band I really like is Ministry of Magic though. The others are just okay. I used to think Wrock was ridiculous, but now I'm a proud fan of it.
ReplyGood on you! At least you have some semblance of self-awareness, as a fellow "person who dabbled in the harry potter subculture" we both know there are some people who can be a lot LOT worse.
Wouldn't quittich be better if it were played on bikes.
ReplyThat would be amazing!!! Now if only we could think of a way to make the snitch actually fly....
I feel like I should slap myself for knowing this, but Viktor Krum was Bulgarian, not Russian.
ReplyDon't be ashamed of your potter nerdyness! Be PROUD!!
#2 is all in good fun.
ReplyNo wrocker has ever gotten in a lady's pants by telling her she looks like Cho Chang.
ReplyMy mate once managed to get in the pants of my other mate (female) by letting her quiz him on Harry Potter (and him knowing all the answers). I would say that was pretty damn close! :P
i always thought voldemort was kinda like hitler. i mean he's obsessed with taking over the world and purifying the gene pool.
ReplyExactly. And in one of the books I read about Harry Potter trivia (I think it was a bio of JKR), it mentioned the parallels between the Death Eaters and WWII, and made an okay case for the slightest connection between the two. The implication was that Rowling consciously wrote a few minor things to act as metaphors for that, in a general attempt to portray common historical themes, such as what happens during fascist regimes.
My high school has a Quidditch team.
ReplyThen there are people in your high school who are either magic or pathetic.