5 Pieces of Junk That Turned Out to be Invaluable Artifacts
Recently there was an inspirational story about a person who found a bottle in their basement, containing some mysterious scraps with writing that turned out to be a long-lost message from some concentration camp survivors.
But that is actually just the most recent in a long line of amazing, often ancient artifacts turning up in random places like garage sales or just collecting on the same shelf where somebody was storing their old comic books.

Lost:
Have you ever sat your coffee on top of your car, intending to grab it before you get behind the wheel, only to forget about it? Then you go driving off and it falls onto the road somewhere while you stare confused at your empty cup holder?
What would you say is the worst possible scenario for something like that? Other than, say, leaving your newborn infant up there?
That brings us to the story of The Duke of Alcantara, which is not a person but a 267-year-old Stradivarius violin (when an instrument is valued at $800,000, they tend to give it a pimp name). The violin was donated to UCLA at some point in its long lifespan, and wound up in the hands of David Margetts, the second violinist for the UCLA string quartet. He borrowed the violin on August 2, 1967 from the university for a rehearsal in Hollywood.

An $800,000 loaner? Yeah, UCLA apparently trusted the shit out of David Margetts.
They shouldn't have. He was on his way home and stopped to get groceries, leaving his car unlocked. When he got back, he was minus one violin and was in some serious shit with UCLA. Surely some thieves had stolen it, recognizing it for its rarity and extraordinary value! They were probably selling it to sophisticated international criminals that very moment!
Found:
Fast forward 27 years to 1994. A violin dealer repairing a (you guessed it) violin, realized that, holy shit, he was working on a Stradivarius two and a half centuries old and worth more than he made in a decade.
He looked up the particular violin and found out it had been missing from UCLA all this time. The violin was now owned by an amateur violinist by the name of Teresa Salvato, who had gotten it in her divorce settlement.

Wondering how the musical equivalent of that guy who always "totally has to show you a song he wrote" at parties ended up with an $800,000 violin, UCLA did a little asking around and found out the violin was given to Teresa's husband by his aunt... who found the Stradivarius on the side of a freeway one evening in 1967.
So what we were saying earlier, about the cup of coffee? Yeah, it appears that's what David did with the violin.

Lost:
Back when they wrote up the Declaration of Independence, somebody thought to make copies. Otherwise someone could leave it on top of their car or something, and the colonies would have fallen back under British rule.
Around 500 copies were printed on July 5, 1776. Now the original handwritten document is in the Smithsonian museum, but of the 500 copies, only 24 are still around today. So even those copies have a value that's hard to calculate, even though only the original has the National Treasure secret map on the back.

"If we don't solve this riddle, History will eat itself!"
Found:
Donald Scheer was a man who enjoyed picture frames. Fuck whatever was in the picture, he just liked the frames.
One day at a flea market he came across a painting of a farm scene. He was so taken with the ornate frame that he bought it for a whopping $4. Once at home, he hastily went to work detaching the worthless picture from the precious, precious frame, and that was when the frame fell apart.
Holding the broken frame in his hands and shouting whatever curse words frame collectors know, he found a small folded-up piece of paper. Upon opening it he realized that he was holding the Declaration of fucking Independence.

So we said it's hard to calculate the value of such a document, but it's not impossible: he sold it at auction for $2.42 million.
We have to wonder if he didn't run and dig that farm painting out of the trash, to find out what that shit was worth.

Lost:
Lizzie Borden allegedly committed two of the most famous murders in American history. Way back in August 4, 1892 in Fall River, Massachusetts, Borden was a 32-year-old spinster who took a hatchet and went to town on her dad and stepmom.

She was tried and then acquitted for the murders, in a trial that became a media sensation in its day--and, in fact, it was the first media sensation murder trial. No one else was ever arrested or suspected of the murders, leading everyone to believe that ghosts did it, seeing as how back then ghosts and witches were blamed for 89 percent of all murders thanks to police who didn't like to do a lot of paperwork.
Found:
More than 70 years later, a woman was going through some of her father's things in the attic when she stumbled across an old wash basin containing a broken hatchet… and a freaking skull. A skull that had a huge hatchet-shaped gash in the side.
Instead of immediately assuming her father was secretly a killer, she sent the items to the Fall River historical society. It turned out the hatchet was, of course, the one Borden had allegedly used to hack her parents to death. And the skull? It Lizzie's father's.

The woman who found them was the daughter of Andrew Jennings, Lizzie Borden's lawyer (an apparently damned fine one, since Lizzie got off). It turned out that after the trial, Lizzie had given the hatchet head and her dad's skull to Jennings as a gift.
We're not sure if this is the worst or best gift in history, but apparently Jennings believed the former since he tossed the murder weapon and shattered skull in the old wash basin and forgot about them while they sat there in his house for the rest of his life. Say what you want about Andrew Jennings, but that man totally did not believe in hauntings.








I wonder how many people have inherited old violins that say Stradivarius on them, looked them up and had there eyes pop out of there head, only to find out later that for every one real Stradivarius there are countless replicas.
ReplyAnother great story.
ReplyA florida woman who had a friend known for wearing bright, garrish, mis-matched colors happened to see a huge painting that reminded her of her fashionably challenged friend. Her friend's birthday was coming up, so she purchased the huge painting for $4. She took the painting home, got her son to take it up to the attic, where she intended to keep it until her friend's birthday. A few weeks later, she took the painting to the friend's trailer, but it was too big to fit in the door. Accordingly, the friend declined the painting, and the woman told her son just to put it back into the attic.
Fast forward 20 years. The woman's husband dies, and after years of mourning is finally convinced to start dating again. She strikes up a relationship with a man who happens to be an art professor at the local college. He secures the money for a new studio, and has trouble finding enough art to cover the walls. The man tells his lady friend, and she tells him that she has a huge painting in her attic that is a good example of the type of eccentric art he seems to be fond of. He agrees to come by her house and see if he is interested in the painting.
He comes over later, and she takes him upstairs to the attic, where the painting has stood against the wall covered by sheets for 20 years. She pulls off the sheets...and the guy faints. Turns out, the painting is an original Jackson Pollack. The largest known original Jackson Pollack, and was later valued at more than 10 million.
It confuses me how you could look at that jar and NOT know it was a canopic vessel.
ReplyBecause people are stupid.
i just love the picture of the red jar.
ReplyXD
Gnosticism is anti-Christian, so it's certainly not a Bible part 2. There's a reason these things aren't in the Bible...
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replies(A) They're no more anti-Christian than how every branch of a religion considers itself to be the One True Religion and (B) the reason some of them were left out wasn't because they were heretical, but because they just didn't fit into the structure of the Bible. The Gospel of Mary (mother of Jesus - Mary), which describes Mary's life was left out because there wasn't a logical place to put it. They couldn't put it before the other Gospels, because that would imply Mary was more important than Jesus, but it wouldn't flow putting it after. So, they just said "Well, let's just leave it out. There's no way that people who come after us will think that the Bible is the only valid thing ever written by our religion and will view any other documents as complete heresy."
Oh, and Revelations is pretty much Gnosticism through and through. Better get out a knife and cut it out of your copy of the Bible. Can't be too safe!
I just wish some of the original Genesis stories were left in. They were hysterically funny, especially the one where Adam tries to hump all the animals in the Garden of Eden before realising "wait...there's something wrong with this picture". I like to think he was hanging out of the back end of a giraffe while saying that.
actually deadlygrim's interpretation of the events surrounding the gospel of mary are incredibly over-simplified, as is his apparent belief that all of us Christians think our denominations are the one true Religion. While we do believe as Christianity as the one true Religion (as 95% other religions do as well, not exclusive to Christianity) not many of the individual denominations say, "we are the only Christians who are right," although a few of them may.
However, the gospel attributed to mary is heretical in the sense that Jesus comes to amry in a dream or vision suggesting a mystical method of attaining sacred knowledge (i.e. "gnosis") which will allow her to understand the true nature of Christ and God, beliefs that were held by a fringe group of "Christians" (i.e. "gnostics" although there was one group of gnostics, it is more of an umbrella term sort of like hinudism) who were actually just neo-platonists fitting their belief structures around a belief in Christ as the one who could provide the sacred knowledge. it did fly in the face of orthodox Christianity of the time, which still had only a few degrees of separation from Judaism at the time when the gnostics started these teachings, about 200 CE. so they were not just left out of The Holy Bible due to timeflow constraints, and they most certainly were considered heretical, especially during the time of the council of Nicea in 325 AD when Constantine and a group of early Church fathers were determining which works to include as canon and basically determining the order of the books included. they also discussed other heresies confronting the Church, notably the Arian Heresy, which was basically over whether Jesus was born of the Father or was the Father, orthodox beliefs traditionally align with the former, and Arius was denounced as a heretic for suggesting Christ was born of the Father and not fully God, because they were not as relaxed about it as deadlygrim appears to think they were.
And Revelation is not so much gnostic as it is a mystery literature, it was considered traditionally an apocalyptic vision, however there are a lot of theories ranging from poetry to metaphorical, anti-Roman communication between early Christians. There is an element of gnosticism to John, although, it is the most "gnostic" of any of the canonical gospels.
Joshybo, you must've gone to seminary.
Lizzie Borden looks like a younger version of the evil principal in Matilda, who also looks a bit like an old timey photo of some woman in the Cracker Barrel in Hickory, NC.
Reply"Say what you want about Andrew Jennings, but that man totally did not believe in hauntings."
ReplyHell no. Dude was hardcore.
Man, I love this site.
ReplyForgot J.S. Bach's unvaluable manuscripts found in a meat shop wraping hunks of bacon(scholars still disagree about it, but it's worth going after to see if you could update the article)
ReplyOf course, they weren't "unvaluable" until AFTER contacting the bacon.
Bacon flavoured classical music. The gift that keeps on giving
I love stories like these! Thanks!
Replyyour my favorite writer man, I lost it when you talked about the frame collector haha
ReplyYeah, it's just too bad all the facts were wrong. Scheer wasn't the guy who found it, he was the buyer when it was auctioned off. And there's nothing to suggest that the original finder was a frame collector. He's kept his identity secret; all we know about him is his job (financial analyst). That said, even the Snopes article Jake links to gets confused at one point. It's easier to talk about the guy whose name we actually know.
If the liver ever found its way to Scotland it wouldn't be used as a paperweight; it would have been deep fried abd sold to a drunk on the first Friday night after its arrival.
ReplyI don't get it.
People in scotland eat lots of fried things and innards, is what he's saying. Case in point, one of the most common dishes over there is haggis, which is a stuffed sheeps stomach. And they fry almost as much random food as we do here in america.
Question, why would lizzie bordon get her fathers skull, then give it to her lawyer, wouldn't it be buried after the trial?
ReplyI guess that she got the body back because she was his daughter and was declared not guilty
Just curious how many people saw a picture of an ancient liver jar and how many saw a good looking woman.
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesI saw a jar and a fat chick.
ancient liver jar? what? where?
"aincent liver jar"? what the f**k are you talking about? you on crack? what kind of? from a dark alley in brooklyn? probably. crazy people on crack nowadays...
I saw a jar and a fat chick with bad teeth.
I really tried TBH but I couldn't see but the liver jar!!
MrTastyBubbles, get your eyes checked.
shes cute i guess...
And people wonder eating disorders and other self-worth issues still exist.
1) She's hardly got any weight on her.
2) Very few people are actually into the stick-thin body, over-sized silicon breasts and teeth so white they glow in the dark fetish.
3) Comedy site aside, why are we still judging women purely on how they look anyway. Yes, comedy site, don't take things so seriously. But still...
Shit, it took me two seconds to figure out her name is Amy Brenan and she works in Dorset. Cool jar, though.
I found a copy of the Declaration of My Anus in an old pair of boxers once right under the Contitution of My Ball Sack. Both are priceless.
ReplyLizzie Borden. Lizzie's dad was boning her while the step-mother ignored this, glad that he wasn't pestering her for sex. The judge excluded the evidence that would have convicted her, leaving the prosecution with nothing. Hence, not guilty. Guess the judge figured she'd suffered enough and the two parents got what they deserved.
ReplyA lot of crap was written during the trial, so that many things we think we know are just made up.
Whoever killed her father and stepmother was the luckiest killer on Earth (if she didn't do it). Mrs. Borden was murdered first, and her husband died about 90 minutes later. There are no hallways in that house, so that anyone going from Point A to Point B has to pass through a room.
(BTW, for a good overview, the book 'Forty Whacks' cuts through the nonsense surrounding the case.)
Jack the Ripper is the most sucessful killer of all time, no one knew who the f**k he or she was, and we will never know until science gives us our damn time machines! and jet packs! Damn you science!
If Gnostic Christianity had Survived in today's society every single person in the U.S would be Christian; y'know, cause of the orgies they hold every sermon. Gnostic Christianity actually relished intercourse and all it's joy. Which is why it no longer exists, because the catholic church back then was a dickwad and virtuously massacred and burned most of the Gnostic beliefs. It was done because they were viewed as heretics and blasphemers. I'm not sure if my sources are correct but that is what I heard.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesIf Gnostic Christianity had Survived in today's society every single person in the U.S would be Christian.
Who would run all the banks and the media?
Sexuality had nothing to do with the selection of the canon Christian bible. It had everything to do with choosing the texts that deified Jesus the most. Some of the gnostic gospels didn't even refer to Jesus as God or the son of God, just a prophet.
1. Your sources are, most likely, full of crap.
2. Two of the supposedly "Gnostic Gospels" were most likely written before Mark, the oldest gospel in the Bible. The Gospel of Thomas and the Gospel of the Hebrews (AKA the True Gospel of Matthew, as in the one that he actually wrote) both refer to Jesus as A son of God rather than THE son of God. Moreover, they state that he wasn't born as such, but rather became a son of God. Something to think about, eh?
Just check out the gospel of Eve, it's full of sex.
"Here, you can have this. It's, like, extra Bible or something." was the best line in the article.
Sparntz is an antisemite, it seems to me.
Picked up on that, eh? You're a f*****g detective.
What about the copy (1 of 4) of the Magna Carta found in Australia in a garage sale (i think)?
ReplyWhat about googling that s**t before feeling required to add a disclaimer?
the Declaration of Independence is at the National Archives, not the Smithsonian...
ReplyMan, this reminds me of an episode of the Antiques Roadshow where a guy brought in something like 300-year old dresser that was in near perfect condition valued in the tens of thousands of dollars... he was using it as a TV stand. And what did he say after he heard it's worth?
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies"Oh, I'll still put my TV on it"
Wow, what a stupid a*****e -_-
It's just a damn wooden box at the end, I never understood why people put value in things like that, they are made to be used not to be admired (not all of them at least)..
I'd sell it, then use like 50 bucks from the profits of said sale to get an entertainment center from walmart