If you're on the internet, which you are, by the way, you've probably got a profile on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LiveJournal, Craigslist or all of the above, enjoying the company of hundreds of friends who you know will never ask to borrow your car.
Unfortunately, people from your past are looking for you. People you had hoped would stay forgotten. And your internet listing has made it very easy for them to find you.
What They'll Say:
Hi there! Long time no see! Just over here in Liverpool and killing time before the Premier League match - downing a few pints, you know? - and spotted you on the internet. I might have found you earlier, but there's no internet in South America (at least, not worth using ;) and the net cafes were too expensive in Japan.
I'm moving around a fair bit at the moment, so here's a link to my travel blog so you can keep track of where I am. Be sure to take a look at the pics I took while trekking in Nepal. It's an amazing place. Have you been? How's it going? Drop us a line.
What They'll Really Mean:
Look at how many countries I've been to. I'm better than you.