Hollywood's 5 Saddest Attempts at Feminism
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#2.
Catwoman (Batman Returns)
Selina Kyle is a frumpy personal assistant to Batman villain Christopher Walken. She has the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and her boss kindly shoves her out a window for her troubles. Fortunately, she is resuscitated by a group of stray cats in an alley. At this stage, Selina is left with only one option: dress in a shiny black leather cat suit and become a super villain. Well, we suppose calling the cops or going to an emergency room were also options, but who are we to judge? Supposed to be a Role Model Because: In this film, Catwoman is a gorgeous yet cunning adversary for Batman. The character also isn't portrayed as outright evil, so much as she just abides by her own complex moral code. She eventually defeats her evil boss, who made demeaning comments about her earlier in the film.
The "You Go Girl!" Moment: "I am Catwoman. Hear me roar." The Problem: Catwoman is a prime example of the femme fatale (literally "dangerous woman") stock character. It's an archetype that goes way back to probably the first male to ever write a story right after a nasty breakup. You can see the mentality of the guy writing the femme fatale, since he has the character basically using sex as a weapon against men. Sharon Stone in Basic instinct is probably the most gratuitous example, but maybe the most famous is Cleopatra who, regardless of what actually happened, has always been fictionalized as having seduced the world with the sheer force of her boobies.
So basically the femme fatale was created by insecure males to represent the dangers of unrestrained female sexuality. In these stories she's always a corrupting influence for the male hero and is always eventually punished for it, usually with a violent death. And, sure enough, the last we see of Catwoman is her "dying" from kissing Christopher Walken with a goddamned taser in her mouth. If that's not some kind of symbolism for herpes then we don't know what is. #1.
Elizabeth Swan (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Elizabeth (Keira Knightley's character) Swan is introduced in the first movie as the governor's daughter who has a fascination with pirates and effeminate blacksmiths. Over the course of the franchise, she learns to fight, shoot, go to war, lead armies and give boring speeches. Her and her one true love, Will (Orlando Bloom), endure many obstacles in their relationship and are rewarded when they are finally united in a thirty second Easter egg after the closing credits of the final movie.
Supposed to be a Role Model Because: Elizabeth is intelligent and resourceful, and knows a lot about pirates. In between movies Will teaches her to fight and she performs marginally well against opponents with no names or dialogue. She gets elected Pirate King and captains her own ship. Also, every leading man in the series falls in love with her at some point, leaving her the epicenter of a nautically themed love quadrangle. She's everything a girl should aspire to, right?
The "You Go Girl!" Moment: Elizabeth gives a rousing speech about freedom from oppression, to a bunch of rapists, killers and thieves. She then leads her rag tag fugitive fleet into battle against the evil forces of progress who are trying to stop them from raping, killing and thieving. You go, girl! The Problem: Tokenism. She's the female pirate version of the crusty black sergeant that threatens to pull the white protagonists off the case in a buddy cop flick. Elizabeth exists for the producers to point to and say "Look how enlightened we are!" Elizabeth is the only woman in the series who isn't a gossipy chamber maid, nameless whore or crazy sea goddess. Why do all the boys want a piece of her sweet, boobless ass? Because she's literally the only woman available. It's either her or one of the members of the film's catering staff.
Not to mention that she only gets command of a ship because Chow Yun Fat mistakes her for the crazy sea goddess, and she only becomes Pirate King (And why not the Pirate Queen while we're at it?) due to some elaborate double crossing scheme by Jack Sparrow, and not any actual qualifications. She just sort of lucks her way into everything. But the final straw is the Easter egg ending. After the day is saved and the pirates have won the freedom to rape and pillage across the seven seas, Elizabeth and Will are married, but must endure a long separation due to a curse.
No problem. We don't see exactly what she does for ten years, but from what we see after the closing credits, we can safely assume it was moping around waiting for Will to return and popping out his children. Oh, Hollywood. You came so close on this one. Jennifer is the chair of JordanCon, the first convention for fans of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. For more feminism, check out the boob-aliciousThe 6 Most Gratuitously Cleavaged Women on TV or once again feel the wrath of our moral outrage in The 9 Most Racist Disney Character. |
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Actually, Selina doesn't die.
Entertaining list overall but there are definitely some other women that could have been mentioned.
River's not supposed to be a huge paradigm of feminism. She's an intelligent young girl who was driven insane. She was saved by her brother and taken in by the crew, so she saves them all back.
And Kaylee is the way to spell Jewel Staite's character's name, not Kaily or Kaley and such.
i have a problem with eowyn being on this list. she was all about fighting in battles way before she was in love with aragorn, and tried to in the two towers. and then she decided to sneak her way into the battle in the return of the king long after she had realized it was never gonna happen with arogorn.
BUT the movie did play up that whole love triangle that never existed between aragorn and eowyn and arwen. im pretty sure the book only ever said that eowyn blushed cause aragorn was handsome, and then she pretty much stopped caring about him. also, the movie cut out a lot of the end, cause it all happened way after the action, so the whole love between eowyn and faramir was totally underplayed.
i feel like such a nerd right now.
Women are allowed to be weak and strong, just like men should be. So just because a woman is weak doesn't mean it's anti feminist.
That being said, most of these movies make me want to vomit with rage.
(Also, what about Whedon's ZOEY?)
WTF.
Seriously, way to ignore every bit of progress any of these character might have made to be strong female characters to chew out the few flaws. It seems that all that would make you happy would be an equally ridiculous stereotype in the opposite direction.
Also, linking to someone sorta infamous on LJ for being completely nuts? Doesn't bode well for your argument.
I actually found this entertaining. Accurate? Maybe not, but I don't come to Cracked as a source for academia. Comedy, children. Get over it! Honestly I've seen a decline in how funny articles are around here. It isn't the subject matter, it's the way things are written. This is actually written in a funny way.
But of course stepping on fanboyism on the internet prompts these anal sorts of commments. Laugh! Move on with your lives!
I fascinates me how almost everyone that post a complaint here tend to point out one way or another, that you are a WOMAN. I guess we need no further explanation why the characters on your list turned out the way they did...
As for female characters; Juno and Lisbeth Salander (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is really two of the few true kickass female characters in recent years.
"Femme fatale" literally means "deadly woman" by the way, not "dangerous woman".
What bothers me most about this article is that the author is so clearly driven by some sort of weird anti-fanboy agenda that she is willing to twist these examples so far out of their original shape as to be almost unrecognizable. Either that or she literally does not understand the movies in question. The fact that River is essentially broken due to her horrific mistreatment at the hands of the Alliance is the WHOLE POINT of her character. She's not supposed to be another Buffy. And other examples contain information that is flat-out factually wrong. As anyone who actually bothered to watch Batman Returns all the way through knows, Catwoman is alive and (relatively) well the last time we see her. I don't usually leave negative comments on articles, but the weird bias on this one really bugged me.
this article alone makes me hold the strong belief that women should not be allowed to write articles for cracked.
These seem to be stretching a little. There are plenty of really weak female characters out there, I mean, pretty much every female character in a romantic comedy is a slap in the face of feminism. Compared to them, I just can't get worked up over kick ass women with human flaws.
And holy s**t, that Livejournal link? Racist, reactionary morons like that are what's holding women back, not fictional heroines.
This writer needs to seriously do her homework before putting up an article. Specifically im refering to Padme. Did this woman even watch the movie? Clearly it shows Padme fighting, on the political front at least, while pregnant. And if you read the books, she's in a few battles as well. It shows that a woman can be a mother, wife and successful, powerful career woman at the same time, hardly the weak person the writer confuses her to be. Also, the movie states it "seems" as if she's lost the will to live, meaning they really couldnt tell why. However, if the writer had done just a little 2 minute google search, she wouldve learned that Padme actually dies of larynx damage done to her by Vader, in one of the most dramatic scenes in the entire series of the movie which i find very difficult to believe the writer could have missed. Unless ofcourse she didnt watch the movie.
I don't consider it to be feminism when women in movies kick ass unless they're ugly. The fact that Joss Whedon got a totally hot chick to be River redeems him in my eyes. The same cannot for most of these other chicks.
so, yeah, not the greatest article, but i want to point out something to the commenters who mentioned Amadala: yes, we know she died "of a broken heart", but that doesn't really excuse it. I mean, come on, in the realm of films, if a male has his heart broken or otherwise loses the one he loves, he generally focuses that into ass-kicking badassery. if a guy just rolled over and died everyone would scoff at the idiocy of the notion. so, why is it totally fine that a woman (who, as pointed out, now has 2 children and is, for all intents, a single mother) just kicks it cuz her man went bad? no one else close to aniken suffered this fate, only she did. so, yeah, i've always thought that was a pretty s****y move. i mean, just have her die birthing twins cuz, s**t, that actually happens. none of this crap about a girl dying from being sad.
overall, no movie character is ever too far from a stereotype (and once one is, it will be reused over and over until it, too, is cliched). it seems this list isn't fair to the fact that romantic love is in nearly every movie ever made and both men and women need rescuing now and then, none of that is bashing women in any way. just, you know, could we tone down being portrayed as falling to pieces or just becoming useless when our man dumps us? that would be cool cuz, i swear, it's affecting the real men out there. ever see the look on a guy's face when he realizes he needs to reject or hurt the feelings of a girl? we're not going to kill ourselves or you, it's really ok, we can take it. (and, yes, i know there are movies that work against this in favor of women, but it's still more of a problem than for men)
Man, if the author of this article were fictional I'd accuse her of being a straw man (sorry, straw womyn). I'm almost inclined to believe that this is some kind of Coulteresque troll.
Well, Miss Jennifer, how does it feel to have been cyber-b***h slapped by nearly everyone who read your pathetic article?
Sorry but you are an obvious misandrist of the Jessie Spano variety. I'll go ahead and repeat what everyone else has said before I get to your article. Feminism is not women getting back at the guys and existing on their own and eliminating all of their femininity. It is about equality among the sexes but it seems people like you prefer to veer in the other direction and give feminism a bad name.
Eowyn
Well she actually could qualify for your list but what is so wrong with her being in love? Your argument could be reasonable if the battle didn't start *after* Aragorn told her no. Forget that she loves her country and is brave enough to fight, it's bad because she gets a guy at the end. Makes perfect sense
Padme
A queen is like a president in that planet and they are generally elected younger since they would be more innocent and free thinking. Plus she is 14 in the movie and Anakin is 10/11 so that's hardly half her age. As a side note he would be old enough to drink in the second movie. When the chips are down, she chooses to go after him herself and try and help him. She dies because she had her heart broken. She could have died before giving birth but she held out as long as she could
River
She does not belong on this list. It seems misandrists just love to challenge someone like Joss Whedon for being anti-feminist because it gives them a surge or rush or something. There are plenty of other strong female characters in that who have ties to males. Zoe is married, Inara is a friggin prostitute and Kaley is hopelessly in love with Simon. Does that take away from their feminism? No, so why does River needing Simon's help take away from hers? She's nuts so she needs help. She repays them for it by killing every single reaver at the end doesn't she
Catwoman
Was she even supposed to be a role model? She's a friggin villain for crying out loud. I love how you immediately blame men for the femme fatale in stories, it just proves how much of a misandrist you really are. Besides, Batman Forever is one of the most sexist things out there along with Hope and Faith and 8 Simple Rules
Elizabeth
She does seem to go through guys a bit but she only loved one, all the others just fancied her. So how is she a non-feminist character if she doesn't tell Will to go f**k a dolphin and find another guy as soon as he goes away? Women aren't allowed to raise children by themselves are they?
RexIdiotarum: While I agree with your TL;DR statement, this is a bad place to have it seen. This is a penis-centered humor site.
There are more forms of femininity than big boobs and nail polish, and that's one of the things few people realize, from straw feminists to game makers and Hollywood producers. Now, I cannot speak for everyone, but much of my life and jobs have dealt with issues of gender, so I've been interested in gender expression, gender roles, and defiance of them.
So, the way I see it is that Femininity focuses on social, emotional, and aesthetic aspects. Masculinity, on the other hand, focuses on the individual, logical, and competitive aspects.
Please note that I, in no way, believe that Femininity is exclusive to woman or that Masculinity is exclusive to Men. That'd be extremely hypocritical of me. Instead, I believe that because these are dynamic to an individual and not a bolean figure for either sex, it's impossible to pull off a character that solely expresses Feminine Traits or Masculine Traits without looking like a joke. Or an FPS Mute Space Marine Protagonist. Because Masterchief doesn't have blood, he has Testosterone.
So, in a modern world where anyone who claims to be a Feminist, myself included, gets strange looks and openly mocked for "Staw Feminists'" beliefs, it kills me a little to see this. I'd rather see feminists openly proclaim praise for a character that shows that there are okay with themselves and their expressions.
Case in Point: Kalie from Firefly. I love Kalie because she's a woman who's a total nerd but has a pretty feminine side in a way that doesn't devolve her down to her body. She's shown that she knew more about how the Firefly model's engine runs than the original male mech they were going to hire, ((She seemed more into Serenity's engine than the guy she was with.)) she's surprisingly open about her sexuality, and, again, a total nerd. As far as her feminine side goes, she likes dresses, has a cute crush on the doctor, and, unlike the rest of the crew, isn't a total psychopath. But here's the point, she seems very comfortable and happy in expressing herself as both masculine and mechanically inclined and feminine in her clothing style and general mannerisms.
My ideal protagonist that fits the ideals of feminism would be an independant and strong willed character that does what she feels will make her happy despite what anyone tells her Misogynists and Misandrists aside.
~ Recommended Reading Whipping Girl - Julia Serano, you always find the most enlightened concepts of a debate from people who've embraced both sides and saw both strengths and weaknesses. In the case of Feminism, look for Transgendered people.
Interesting, but if you look at C.S. Luis's books, he is criticized for stripping his female characters of their femininity and portraying that to succeed as anything but a victim they need to adopt masculine traits.
Its a lose-lose situation.
Make a woman sexy yet bad-ass and suddenly they are merely being used as a sex symbol.
Don't make a woman sexy and put the woman as bad-ass and suddenly they are being stripped of their femininity.
Put the woman as anything except badass and they are a stereotypical victim.
I would like to know what feminists consider appropriate. I don't think they know.
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To you people complaining that the characters on the list are, in fact, strong ass-kicking women: yeah, that's the point. The strong, ass-kicking woman is a Hollywood archetype, and this author is giving examples of how this archetype is sometimes included in a movie (yay) but handled very badly by writers. What she is mocking isn't the ass-kickery itself (which might make her the cynical fanboy-hater that some are calling her), but rather the weird out-of-character moments that screw up cool heroines, or unnecessary double standards within a movie that effectively defeat the whole purpose of including a kick-ass female heroine. Got the point now? Okay. You're welcome.