Hollywood's 5 Saddest Attempts at Feminism

While it pains me to expose how sad and meaningless my life is: the majority of Eowyn's lines were in fact written by Phillipa Boyens and Fran Walsh which means that she out of all your list of characters was the result of TWO woman. Granted, Tolkien, a man, wrote the book...but this article is referring to Hollywood after all.

Honestly, I don't think Eowyn should be counted as Hollywood's sad attempt as much as Tolkien's sad attempt. Walsh and Boyens made the character a lot more feminist in the movie, in the novel she fights in one battle for about half a second (Merry does most of the work to be honest) before injuring her arm and deciding to quit, while in the hospital she gives up trying to live ala Padme until Aragorn works his magic. And at long last she realises that her life has been meaningless, that woman were put on this world to make babies, hooks up with Faramir and becomes a nurse. Hell, if that wasn't bad enough Gandalf, Aragorn and Eomer talk s**t about her while she lies comatose next to them.

While we're on the subject...

Several episodes of "Firefly" were also written by women, including the before mentioned "puked on her brothers bed" one.

That said, great article. Hell, I'm just glad to see the Firefly nod (although that article you mention wouldn't happen to be "The Rapist view..." one that everyone keeps bringing up)? Because honestly that chick is nuts!

That was probably the most pathetic thing I've ever written in my...Today. Maybe...

Anyone ever notice the similarities between River and the Mamelukes from the Persian Empire? I'm not going to go into an in depth comparison, but you should wikipedia "Mameluke" if you are interested.

then again EVERY batman movie makes women out to be nothing but a damn distraction for batman to have his ass handed to him or have to make some fucked up choice between his girl and his friend... and then even when some girl starts to work her way in they just blow her ass up anyway. and you wanna know why!? Because Batman is the mother f*****g s**t and no one else compares...

"Batman Returns" is indeed a lousy feminist movie, and not just because Catwoman is a "femme fatale." The 1992 sequel is basically a 118-minute-long "up yours" to women in general. EVERY female character in the movie - from the blonde who gets felt up by The Penguin at the rally to the circus floozies in his gang to the fur-lined bimbo who gets knocked off the building - are all evil, corrupt, weak, or - in Selina Kyle's case, f***ing insane. It's the only Batman movie without a single positive female character. Its producers seem to be terrified of the idea of women having power - which is very strange, because one of those producers was a woman.

Worst of all, even the hero of the story is a total pig. Batman tries to "save" Selina from becoming a murderer, which is completely hypocritical. (He felt sorry for Penguin, too; why didn't he try to save HIM? Fact is, all Batsy was concerned about was getting into Selina's panties.)

All in all, "Batman Returns" teaches us that women are silly, stupid children who need men to take care of them so that they don't get themselves killed or go postal. It's my second-favorite Bat-movie, but even I have to admit it that it's sexist to the max.

I only read the River part, because I'm a Whedon-fan. And something I love in his work is that no ones perfect. He doesn't write about heroes or icons, saints or superpeople without flaws. That would be unrealistic and not really portaying humanity. River is insane, because she had experiments done on her. Who would not be crazy? I don't understand why people have to go "Willow, Buffy, River are such bad rolemodels, Joss really dropped the ball". Joss didn't create robots, he created humans.

"That's an awful lot of rescuing for a feminist hero." Has Joss ever claimed that his characters are suppose to be "feminist heros"? Jesus Christ, she's just a girl who has had a very tough time. Give her a break.

how did ripley from alien not get in?

The first two were actually pretty funny, but the last three... did you run out of ideas? I mean, I might be wrong, but I'm sure Catwoman was NEVER meant to be a Role Model to... anyone.

And I'm not sure if you read the article you linked to for River Tam, but it wasn't based in fact. Or logic. Or rationality. But neither was what you wrote, so I guess that makes sense.

And no one really cares about any character in Pirates other than Jack Sparrow.

The first two were actually pretty funny, but the last three... did you run out of ideas? I mean, I might be wrong, but I'm sure Catwoman was NEVER meant to be a Role Model to... anyone.

And I'm not sure if you read the article you linked to for River Tam, but it wasn't based in fact. Or logic. Or rationality. But neither was what you wrote, so I guess that makes sense.

And no one really cares about any character in Pirates other than Jack Sparrow.

Poor man's Sean Bean!! Best (nerdy) line ever!

I guess what I don't get about this article is that it takes the long-way-around in trying mock Hollywood's bullshit feminist moments instead of just pointing out that all these characters are lame attempts at feminism because they were all written by men.

Wow, I read this when it first came out and thought it was pretty funny. Now I check the comments and you guys are a bunch of oversensitive little...school...boys....

and f**k of about River! the is "teh roxxors"

yah, this is pretty crap. i'm not even going to go into my Tolkien rant as I assume my commerades have already made my point there clear

And furthermore, the fact that you link to an article written by that moronic psychopath shows that you either were not paying attention, or are an idiot yourself (I'll assume the latter). She mentions that she has never known a white man to hook up with a black woman where he did not beat or abuse her. She basically seems to think men are evil, and hate women, especially black women.

this article is full of fail. About the only part i really agree with is queen amidala. But pretty much everything about the starwars prequels sucked in a "let's sell crap to stupid children by using bad cgi effects" kinda way. LOTR was pretty much crap to from what i could tell; i didn't bother watching more than the first one, so i can't comment too much there. But FIREFLY? are you serious? did you read that LJer's posts at all? she's not a feminist, she's a retard. And she's a racist. And a sexist piece of garbage. Here's a direct quote from here article entitled "Men are REALLY REALLY FxCKING DANGEROUS ":
"Men are not safe to be around.

Men are dangerous. Stay away from men.

Do not leave your children with men.

Men are dangerous."

Her insane rant about firefly sounds almost rational if you have never actually watched the show, or have never interacted with another human being. The events of the show she describes (badly) might sound like instances of woman bashing, if you take them entirely out of context, and totally ignore the feelings and social interactions of the characters described. Say, for instance, if you are an alien or a robot.

Wait a minute! That crazy LJ beyotch was NEVER a fan. AND she also implied that ALL heterosexual sex was rape because - how could a woman REALLY consent to having sex with her husband or boyfriend - living in such a blatantly misogynist, patriarchal society? And I THINK she also said that Joss Whedon "rapes" his wife on a regular basis.

So you might want to rethink your sources, Ms. Liang... or at least use quotes from people who are relatively sane. Just sayin'.

Some good points made, but with Serenity there are two other women on the show, one of whom is very much a leader in her own right. Maybe society is still a bit sexist, but you madam, are a racist!! Btw, who remembers Captain Janeway from Voyager?

s****y article.

Quite funny, but, despite its scarce faults, Firefly still kicks ass.

I think we can safely agree that both men and women can kick my ass. And I think we should let the matter rest there.