Home > More Funny Stuff > The 25 Least Inspiring Military Operation Names
Featured  

The 25 Least Inspiring Military Operation Names

By Paul Abercrombie
article image

Come on military, naming operations shouldn't be complicated. If you can't do it yourself, hire the guy who named Metallica tours in the '80s. We'd bet the troops would feel pretty close to indestructible riding into battle as a part of "Operation Ride the Lighting."

Instead they're asked to rally behind these monuments to self-parody. These are all real names of military operations. And besides the few times we specify otherwise, they're brought to you courtesy of our very own American military. USA! USA!

#25.
Operation Beastmaster

What Was It?

Cleared three large neighborhoods in Baghdad.

Sounds Like:

Someone watched a lot of late night HBO in the '80s.

#24.
Operation Deliverance

What Was It?

1993 Canadian mission to Somalia.

Sounds Like:

" ... and introducing Canada as Ned Beatty."

#23.
Operation Viking Snatch

What Was It?

Mission to disrupt weapons smuggling.

Sounds Like:

Sure it's scary. Months at sea. Little hygiene down there. But not the kind of scary we're looking for.

#22.
Operation Enduring Freedom

What Was It?

Official name used by the U.S. Government for a military campaign in the global war on terrorism

Sounds Like:

The part of the war on terror that fights against unsightly pantylines.

#21.
Operation Liberty Shield

What Was It?

2003 Department of Homeland Security operations to enhance security at U.S. installations.

Sounds Like:

" ... and not one accidental pregnancy during the entire operation."

#20.
Operation Elfin Cove

What Was It?

Counter-insurgency operation in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

Mordor is invading Rivendell!

#19.
Operation Power Geyser

What Was It?

2005 military security support to the 2005 presidential inauguration.

Sounds Like:

What the liberal half of the nation's collective ass felt like.

#18.
Operation Block Party

What Was It?

Alongside Iraqi military, 100 Marines search Fallujah.

Sounds Like:

The most transparent bait and switch any army recruiter ever tried to pull on a high school dropout.

#17.
Operation Able Warrior

What Was It?

Operation west of Baghdad to disrupt car bombing.

Sounds Like:

"Hey, now, we never claimed to be superior soldiers. Merely adequate."

#16.
Operation All-American Tiger

What Was It?

2003 attempt to capture Saddam Hussein's associates.

Sounds Like:

The #4 on Chinese takeout menu.

#15.
Operation Operation Rapier Thrust

What Was It?

2004 Iraq mission classified either because of sensitive information or embarrassment by all involved.

Sounds Like:

What happened when they let the gay Ivy Leaguer name the missions.

#14.
Operation Jaws V

What Was It?

Disrupting insurgent mortar attacks.

Sounds Like:

Whoever named this mission didn't see Jaws IV.

#13.
Operation Seahorse

What Was It?

Mission to deter illicit activity along Iraqi border.

Sounds Like:

"Guys I think I know why they laughed at us for Jaws V. The sea creature we named it after was too damn big."

#12.
Operation Nickel Grass

What Was It?

1973 American airlift to Israel during 1973 Yom Kippur War.

Sounds Like:

It's true, weed was cheap back then.

#11.
Operation Bold Action

What Was It?

Mission to provide more security near Tarmiya in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

What the power strip takes against dampness and odor, according to Bam Margera.


  • First
  • ←  Previous
  • Page 1 of 2
  • Next  →
  • Last

Submit to: Reddit Facebook StumbleUpon Digg Del.icio.us

Post Comment

65 Comments

When I was enlisted I saw two officers come up with "Operation Optimus Prime" once. They brought it into their boss and I heard him yell "Optimus Prime, what the hell is this shit?" "He's the leader of the good guys on transformers." "I know that, why is his name on this operation?" They eventually had to settle for Operation Decepticon.

Posted on 5/4/2008 8:30:03 AM

By the way, your puppy analogy made no sense at all.

Posted on 5/1/2008 10:53:57 AM

To Jenna_Tullworth: I was using the rotten egg as an example of something instantly recognizable as bad. I didn't imply that the eating thereof was forced. Should I change it to blue cheese cookies? Anyway, why would trying to "dominate and humiliate" you be a way to "raise [my]self up"? I have much more edifying things to do than point out your flawed logic. It would be pretty sad if my self esteem depended on winning an argument in the comments section of a subpar article on a website that nobody cares about.

Posted on 5/1/2008 10:51:09 AM

@Lockett That's some pretty bullshit flawed logic there. Of course the egg would be awful. It's rotten. The experience would also be awful especially since you would have to FORCE me to eat it. Yeah being physically assaulted and forced to eat a rotten egg would be pretty awful and I dare say it'd be rather rotten of you to do this to someone. Perhaps by doing this to me you'd be the one attempting to raise yourself by trying to dominate and humiliate me. Thus closes the loop on this argument of circular logic. Why don't you go kick a puppy then chastise it for putting you down rather than raising itself up?

Posted on 4/30/2008 12:35:22 AM

To Gemineye870530: If you bought a used Geo, and it broke down every twenty miles, had peeling upholstery, and looked like a metal snail, you would have to be an a**hole to criticize it, since you would never be able to build a better car. To Jenna_Tullworth: I will feed you a rotten egg. If you say that it was awful, you're just lowering me rather than making the effort to raise yourself.

Posted on 4/29/2008 6:03:43 PM

dating site wealthykiss dotcom

Posted on 4/29/2008 12:27:08 AM

That's ok, orangemtl. Feel free to prove me right whenever you like. On an unrelated note, is it just me or does that fat dude in the camo look like that fat kid from The Man Show grew up and started working for Blackwater? Kinda creepy, man.

Posted on 4/29/2008 12:06:07 AM

Operation Grizzly Forced Entry? For goodness sake, was some general just drunk off his ass one night and decided he would be a downright perv? I mean, there's no way around looking at Grizzly Forced Entry except as a gross thing.

Posted on 4/28/2008 10:29:01 PM

Dear Jenna_Tullwortz: Your comments were fake, gay and stupid. I'm just sayin'...

Posted on 4/28/2008 9:23:21 PM

During my time in the Marines, we had a training trip called Operation Noble Shirley. I'm surprised that didn't get a mention here.

Posted on 4/28/2008 3:11:25 PM

@Gemineye870530: It's much easier for these people to elevate themselves by lowering others rather than putting forth the effort to raise themselves. It's pretty much the prime motivating factor for all the cries of "fake" "gay" and "stupid". That's my theory anyway.

Posted on 4/28/2008 12:17:35 PM

People do it ALL the time Gemineye. People who watch sports and get pissed the team didn't win. A 7 course meal that didn't live up to certain standards... EVERYTHING!

Posted on 4/28/2008 10:06:33 AM

why do people sign up to this site and read the articles so they can be assholes and criticize things they can't ever do better?

Posted on 4/28/2008 8:35:39 AM

Well, I don't see my operation on here. It was called Operation Parklot. Basically we just fly from the west side of the Middle East to the east side of the Middle East and strafe everything that moves(Except for the Kurds. They're good people.)Then, nuke the site from orbit...it's the only way to be sure. After five years of cleanup a Disney World will be built and all will rejoice. And also, a video game detailing the mission with Tom Clancy's blessing will be released for Playstation.

Posted on 4/28/2008 6:46:08 AM

Tweaker, that's genius!

Posted on 4/28/2008 3:50:30 AM

Or operation Can we still be friends?

Posted on 4/27/2008 10:50:43 PM

What we need is operation....we are going to shit on you.

Posted on 4/27/2008 10:49:51 PM

C'mon, some of it was humorous, like when The Daily Show's Rob Riggle was in Iraq. I'm sure Cracked's intent wasn't to make fun of our brothers and sisters fighting in the Middle East or the creativity of our intel. Plus, we know why the operation names sound silly in normal vernacular; if we named an operation "Hostage Retrieval", that'd be a little obvious, yes?

Posted on 4/27/2008 10:35:58 PM

uh...all it takes is a 30 second search on google to verify that these operations are real. Operation Grizzly Forced Entry was on Aug 21, 2004.

Posted on 4/27/2008 9:40:24 PM

What the hell was that? That didn't even make sense. I've spent more time reading the Photoshop Contests and they don't even have words. And #1 was probably not even real. Operation Shut Your Ugly Face. What it is: You need to shut your ugly face. What it sounds like: YOU NEED TO SHUT YOUR UGLY FACE! 25! I didn't know they stacked lists that high!

Posted on 4/27/2008 9:02:54 PM

More Funny Stuff


Popular stuff


Avatar
Chris Bucholz
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:18:10 AM
Post Subject: You will have sex with a robot, and it will be perfectly cool: Scientists.

An artificial intelligence expert by the name of David Levy has recently predicted that within the next 40 years, robots will have advanced to the point where they'll be so similar to humans in appear ...

Avatar I Cannot Tell A Lie: George Washington Was An Iroquois Freedom Fighter
There's something you should know about me, in case I ever decide to respond to one of the numerous ...
Avatar Why Fox News Shouldn't Be Allowed To Talk About Sex (or I Really Truly Hate The Other Four Cracked Columnists)
Before delving into today's episode of Hate By Numbers, I want to touch upon some events of late in ...
Recently Popular on Digg