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The human body is one of the most incredible organisms in the known universe, but all that awesomeness carries some pretty weird and hard-to-explain baggage. We are here to help shed light on some of those body mysteries in the hopes you'll have something intelligent to say if you get stuck in an intense debate about the pee shakes or the white thing you just coughed up. Read on, get educated and help identify those unknown moments when it appears your body is rebelling against you. If you're lucky your questions will be answered here, if they aren't ... brain tumor. Falling In Your Sleep (aka The Hypnic Jerk)
What's that?
What causes it?
If you want to experience this feeling at your desk just lean back in your chair, a little past the point of no return. Once gravity reminds you who's boss your body enters that frenzied states of "lost-balance/I hope that girl I like isn't watching." The sensations are so physically comparable that the brain analyzes them the same. Pee Shivers (aka Post-Micturition Convulsion Syndrome)
What's that?
According to research, 83 percent of males say they've experienced this, but only 58 percent of females have gotten the shivers--probably the whole "standing vs. sitting" thing.
What causes it?
The simplest explanation, though, is that the rapid release of warm fluid lowers the body's overall temperature leaving it to react the same way you would in a cold breeze. Why you don't shake when vomiting or giving blood was not answered, because those particular researchers apparently decided they had thought about it long enough. Black Hairy Tongue (aka Black Hairy Tongue)
What's that?
It could happen to you, too, if you're kind of a filthy person. If you'd like to give your mouth a warm fur coat for winter try these three steps: 1. Stop brushing your teeth. 2. Enjoy your coffee like Kim Kardashian enjoys her men. 3. Smoke; you're not getting any younger and it'll make you cool*. If you follow this strict guideline your mouth may wind up with a coat that will keep it warm through the snowy months, and will block those drafty winds when opened for a make-out session. *Coolness reports based off of 1950s studies and James Dean posters.
What causes it?
To help combat such revolting disorder, a person can brush their tongue twice a day and rinse their mouth with diluted hydrogen peroxide (one part peroxide to five parts water). As astounding as it may seem this horrendous affliction offers no immediate threat to your health. If you're experiencing it, you may have bigger problems, since hairy tongue is common in those involved with intravenous drug use or those who are HIV positive. Put in the perspective of those problems a furry mouth seems kind of trivial. Tonsil Stones (aka Tonsiloliths)
What's that?
There's a good chance you'll wind up with these, if you haven't already, assuming you meet two qualifications; you've entered adulthood and you still have your tonsils. All the little brats out there who begged for tonsillectomies for a week of no school and ice cream are not cursed with this ailment, although they are spoiled bastards who will never know real love.
What causes it?
Anyway, over time layers begin building on layers forming larger particles. These majestic throat pearls will remain until they become heavy enough to break free and swallowed or expelled from the mouth. The particles growth can cause discomfort and even mild pain, but that's about it. The sensation resembles a feeling of something lodged in the throat. That's mostly because there is something lodged in the throat, and we've been talking about it this whole time. Permaboner (aka Priapism)
What's that?
The medical community is divided on how much time should constitute a case of priapism, but most have settled on six hours, although a person should seek medical attention after four (as the commercials say). This all occurs in the absence of any sexual stimulus, however if you are in possession of enough material to keep it up for almost a quarter of a day's time you should look in to some new hobbies. Thankfully episodes of priapism are not common in the real world; most incidents confined to the professionally edited fantasy realms of pornography. Unfortunately cases are more common in men who are suffering from other diseases, such as sickle cell anemia, that prevent blood from flowing back out of said boner.
What causes it?
This horrible situation sounded awesome to crotchety old men with erectile dysfunction, and a pill was invented to cater to their elderly lust. This created the second most common group to suffer from priapsm, and the easiest go-to joke for hacky stand up comics. "A four hour erection? I ain't callin' a doctor, I'm gonna call a hooker!" Other punch lines include "call the 6 o'clock news" and "call my old girlfriends." All of which you would never call in reality because you'd be frightened and in excruciating pain. Aside from the aforementioned blood disease and Cialis overdose, priapism cam be caused by some sort of trauma-like spinal damage, drug/alcohol abuse, or even black widow spider bites. You've probably never heard that last one, we're guessing because the medical community doesn't want to drive a huge increase in black widow sales to men who just can't wrap their heads around the idea that a six-hour boner is actually a bad thing. Last time he was here, Jeff gave you the medical side of douchbaggery with his article 5 Douchebag Behaviors That Can be Explained by Science. Or, find out why writer Michael Swaim is angry with a glass jar at the moment. |
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Does anybody else get a sick adrenaline rush from hypnic jerks? I think they are fun...scary at first, but exciting afterwards.
The piss shivers explanation is completely bull. You don't get colder by losing warm fluid. If you had lost that heat, but none of the fluid, then yes you would get colder. Also, why not get them from drinking a glass of something cold (that would actually lower your body temp)?
Your not supposed to give THAT much blood, dumbass.
Hmm, I beg to differ about something. Personally, I shake like crazy after I'm done giving blood.
"That last sentence, those men also apparently can't rap their heads around the fact that a black will will almost certainly kill you." - Sobored
Come on, that's not necessary. I like to think that racism has no place on Cracked.
I have gotten those sleep shakes and pee shivers not the other ones. Priapism sounds nasty. A painful, 4-hour boner would suck and take the fun out of having a penis
"I was always wondering if it was normal to have pee orgasms......yay, I'm not a freak."
Hehe - nah; soon as my grandfather named them "Piss Shivers" I realized other people had it too. It does feel like an orgasm without the satisfaction afterwards.
I'm bummed - I thought Piss Shivers was finally going to be explained (actually, I've never tried to find out what causes them, but still.) I guess no one else wants to find out what causes them either.
My doctors have always said the tonsil stones are pus, but that makes sense since as you say they have dead white blood cells in them. Nasty things. If you have strep throat and tonsils you get them, too.
That last sentence, those men also apparently can't rap their heads around the fact that a black will will almost certainly kill you.
Yes, in the matter of fact I was eating. Though I'm very hard to disgust, I'm a biologist!
Well ok, I'll come clean. Babies disgust the s**t out of me...
The thing about tonsil stones is wrong. It says to get them you need to be in adulthood, but I had them when I was 15.
Ahhh yes, tonsil stones. I remember them well. But the thing with me was that they never came out. Thus, my tonsils began to become infected, swollen and scarred as the 'stones' rotted in my mouth. They became so bad that at one point I could stick a toothpick through one side of a tonsil and it would come out the other side. The doctor who removed them (who seemed to be very advanced in his years, and probably with an extensive medical career) told me that my tonsils were in the worst condition he had ever seen. I still ponder what I had done to make them so bad.
I always thought the Hypnic Jerk was related to how early humans used to sleep in trees to avoid prdators, and it evolved to stop us from falling out of trees as we were falling asleep or something? Can't remember where i heard that...
I was always wondering if it was normal to have pee orgasms......yay, I'm not a freak.
WOOOOWWWWW! Do you know that I have had tonsil stones for years and never knew that it was an actual affliction? I thought I was some kind of a freak or something. I mean, I have had them since I was really young and never knew that they were actually recognized in the medical community. I never even knew that they had a name or that other people got them.
When I was in highschool I fell asleep on my desk and had a sleep jerk that was accompanied by a dream I was falling down a staircase. the feeling of falling woke me up so quickly I took a big loud breath and caught the attention of my teacher, who was not at all pleased.
I agree tonsil stones can be very painful, and many times are accompanied by an infection and you need to take antibiotics.
BTW, couldn't you find a pic of well-endowed men?
Laslty, someone needs to tell those people they're power levelling on the wrong site --- this one is WAY better then warcraft
Wow, the tonsil stone qualifications are wrong. I've had tonsil stones since I was 12. And they are very painful to me. And for some reason when I have sleep jerks, I dream about falling down stairs... Or off a cliff or something stupid like that. Although I'm only half asleep when I "fall".
Hi,
i like the cialis slogan "if it lasts.... contact your physician"
I think both are different parts some caused naturally and some priparism caused due to buying of cialis from onlineclinic wuld be the cause. May whatever be the the issue health should be on high priority and care should be taken
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A Series of Poor Decisions: The Twitter Song
"Piss shivers" - I only realized that I wasn't the only person who had that just a few days ago when my roommate was in the bathroom and I went in there to piss. When I was done, I shivered, and she commented that it happens to her, too. And then I find this article - still no explanation, though. Damnit! And I do have the more 'mini-orgasm' type, doesn't feel anything like a temperature-related shiver, so none of the explanations there (pardon the pun) hold water.