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#4.
Jellyfish-Monkeys
Good lord, what is it?
For the love of god, why are they doing this?
The researchers, who we assume are the esteemed Professors Cheech and Chong, were operating under the somewhat controversial thesis that "if ... if monkeys like, glowed, man? That'd be fuckin' crazy!" So far, though, all of these experiments have only resulted in one actual monkey with glowing hair and fingernails which was, sadly, stillborn. Researchers chalked this up mostly to the excess of fluorescent protein produced by the dead monkey, and only a little bit to the great and furious anger of an Old Testament God hurling ominous omens at them like the dodge balls they were also bad at avoiding in middle school.
What's going to happen to us?
Combine this with the highly intelligent nature of the typical primate, its superhuman strength and agility and complete lack of higher human emotions such as guilt, pity or regret and you've got a remorseless screeching, shit-flinging, venom-tentacled, unearthly monsters with no bones to break. Oh, and thanks to inept scientists, it won't even glow in the dark so that you might see them coming for you through the fucking trees. Isn't there something familiar about the combination of monkeys and jellyfish? We don't mean to fear-monger, here, but the image of a primal, yet vaguely human form prone to translucence and glowing and outfitted with wet, flailing tentacles just sounds too familiar to us.
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Hang on a second... "The 5 Most Hated Creatures on the Planet (Don't Deserve It)" claims the rodents did NOT spread the plague.... Make up your minds, guys xD
Oh wait... what? You were not really trying to make sense at all? ah yeah, that DOES make some sense :)
Please, don't use God's or Jesus's Name in vain.
Why does this remind me of the movie idiocracy,
Seriously are they running out of ideas?
LOLOLOL Taurens irl xD
Lol. When I read the goat/spider portion of the article, I couldn't help but picture a gigantic spider web with a goat chilling in it. I was expecting a picture of that in the article.
You did not have it.
I hate you.
I hate all of you.
=D
"...coupled with the complete and utter inability to ever get laid again as you inform potential lovers that you have PERVS, which actually gets worse once you attempt to explain that it "doesn't mean I'm a pervert, it's more like having Pig-AIDS."
I think I just found the funniest sentence I have ever read on Cracked.
Jesus Christ.
The first human testing of superspeedygonzales heroin began many, many years ago and helps give boosted run and swim speed, endurance, and f*****g uncontrolled-child making tendencies to, you guessed it.... dirty mexicans.
Sticking the glowing gene from jellyfish into other stuff is so overdone. There's no way it would destroy humanity.
That second pictue on the page about Jellyfish Monkeys looks like a dick
Actually, as Jonathan Wojcik wrote in his article about critters that earn our undeserved hate, mice and rats aren't THAT much of a vector. The plague was spread by ticks. So, we really only have to worry about rediculously FAST vermin. Oh, and the eventual tweaked out, psychotic super-men, bent on raping us.
@Sephy the Vegan
Meat is MURDER!!!
Tasty, TASTY murder...
http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/4734/spidergoat.png
^This is what I see
aww man.why THE f**k did they have to ban animal/human hybrids?
(alright im a furry fan so what.)
I couldn't help but read Sephy's comment below in a "LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOONE!" voice.
Okay, I found the other's funny, but seriously; making fun of Vegetarians and Vegans? Now that's just f*****g stupid.
Stop being such a f*****g p***k and stereotyping everyone who made this choice as a f*****g pansy who can't take the social qualms of real life. Seriously.
I'm a vegan. I know people hunt and kill and eat animals. Good for them. Humans are supposed to do that. I just don't feel comfortable eating something that had heartbeat. Deal? We're not spineless shits like you seem to think we are.
Stop being such an immature p***k.
I know they have glowing cats. Their skin glows, not the fur. really weird looking.
I don't know if anyone's mentioned this, but we do have glowing mice (as opposed to yet glowing monkeys). Real glow-in-the-dark fluorescent mice: I believe the scientists who came up with them won a Nobel prize or something.
I don't know about the rest of these, but SPEEDY GONZALEZ.
Oh please, we have waited too long GIVE US GONZALEZ!
with all this stuff life will become very extremely interseting. maybe even create another intelligant species to share earth with and do trade (haha). should splice something with WATER BEAR genes. look it up its not actually a bear. and is near unkillable.
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yeah, i thought that flees on the mice spread the plague? right?