Register
Home > News > Turn Your Retarded Videos Into Cash With Cracked.com

Turn Your Retarded Videos Into Cash With Cracked.com

By CRACKED Staff December 25, 2007 4,219 views
article image

How would you like to be a famous millionaire?

Well, too bad. You'll need to move to Hollywood, take a series of expensive acting classes, and probably get some elective surgery at some point.

On the other hand, if you'd like to become Internet famous, and make a smaller amount of money, Cracked.com may just be the answer.

Cracked, a humor website that exists mostly as a tax write-off for a large corporation, is already famous for paying random people off the Internet to write articles, which are mostly lists about Batman. But, the eccentric CEO of Cracked (who chooses to live full time in a heavily-armed helicopter "because he can") has demanded that Cracked branch out.

The site had been a disaster, sure, but his desire was to make the site a much bigger disaster (of "orphanage fire proportions" according to a recent memo).

Cracked decided to plunge headlong into 2004 and do with video what it has done with text. Which is, take submissions from crazy people and buy the ones we like. We started taking submissions in late November and within days, nearly 100 videos had been submitted, such as this heartfelt tribute to Hitler:

... And this parody of The Others, only it's about cows so they called it The Udders:

Now, incredibly, Cracked is looking for videos of even higher quality than that.

If that sounds like a challenge, that's because it is.

Are you funny? Have funny friends? Got a camera? Or, maybe just some rudimentary animation skills? Want your video to be seen by tens or hundreds of thousands of people? And, be paid money? And, to have dozens of commenters call you fat? Click here and read the instructions. But be warned, the other submitters have set the standard pretty high.


Attack of the Boob

We're waiting.


Recommended for Your Pleasure

15 Comments

Killer Boob!! HA!

12/30/2007 5:20:07 PM
Natasha

I eat developmentally disabled children for strength and wisdom. I respect them very much.

12/29/2007 7:18:17 AM
ominousoat

I treat crack as a friend. with the implicit suggestion that inflicted people are funny and to be mocked. I got the same opinion with one of my friends on a site called pubspa. We shared
many interesting videos and games. Also All are free

12/29/2007 3:56:14 AM
Andyli1004

i find gladstone to be retarded and disturbing.

12/27/2007 7:08:47 AM
retad

I'm thinking it makes sense that someone who can't distinguish sarcasm would think a picture was funny merely because the person in it had developmental disabilities.

12/26/2007 10:01:47 AM
G-Stone

Wetspot, I can't tell if you're being sarcstic or really are that snide. Your avatar is funny.

12/26/2007 12:14:28 AM
Lockett

Wetspot, I can't tell if you're being sarcstic or really are that snide. Your avatar is funny.

12/26/2007 12:14:12 AM
Lockett

Guys. I am tough on the internet. Trust me.

I'll make a video about it later.

12/25/2007 6:34:49 PM
Spikedude

Hey "Pal" (a.k.a. the Hulk), We are done celebrating Christmas here, and I didn't get my yellow 2008 Ferrari. Snide is all I got for another year...Pal.

12/25/2007 11:15:55 AM
wetspot

Listen here answer for everything Superhero to the lame "Gladstone", I was using a Big Mac avatar when I was involved with that f**k pile of ass clowns.
Now, with that said wheel your Handy Tard Gimp chair away from me, and go take up the best parking spots at WalMart using that tiny blue plastic placard with your picture on it...
Merry Christmas!

12/25/2007 11:13:23 AM
wetspot

Wetspot, maybe you were banned for using a picture of someone with disabilities as your avatar, with the implicit suggestion that inflicted people are funny and to be mocked.

12/25/2007 11:06:56 AM
G-Stone

...so, who else loves kittens? And babies?

12/25/2007 9:08:12 AM
BondFiction

Wetspot, it's Christmas. Don't you have family? Friends? Something to do with your time other than leave snide remarks on internet forums. Seriously? Well, Merry Christmas anyway pal.

12/25/2007 6:49:15 AM
The Hulk

f**k Ptwot.
I called a SENIOR member of that foul s**t dump of a forum a "sweaty vagina" for acting like a pompous douche, and I was banned for life.
f**k SENIOR members of forums who are threatened by smarter, more witty newbies.
So f**k off, I cannot view your rules concerning the submittal of videos to try and jump start this scab site on the arse of Ptwot...
f*****g e-Nazis.
Keep up the good work!

12/25/2007 6:22:50 AM
wetspot

your fat

12/25/2007 6:07:21 AM
Mr.

More on News

Cracked stuff on
Recent Videos

Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.