6 Singers Who Are Mistaken About Their Raw Sexuality
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During his long tenure in the entertainment world, Kid Rock has demonstrated the kind of pimpin' credibility that can only come with the willingness to wear an emerald rockabilly pant suit.
In "Cowboy," Kid Rock alternates between running off with someone's newly betrothed and being wildly gyrated against by go-go dancers.
The dancers are particularly impressive, since Kid's animal magnetism must have been so great they were compelled to spontaneously cast off their clothes and gyrate in the middle of the road. Or, perhaps the matter in Kid's pimp hand was so dense that it collapsed all non-pimping matter, tearing the fabric off the ho/time continuum, opening a wormhole from which they appeared. Thanks to NASA's hard-on for Mars, we may never have the scientific resources to know definitively. The greatest feather of validation in his cap would have to be his once romantic link with Pamela Anderson. That kind of high profile dating is certainly notable, although in Hollywood circles it is about as rarefied as the rest of the world riding public transit.
Why he's mistaken:
Kid Rock understands that the more interesting the clothing he selects, the less interesting he actually has to be. No matter how much gusto he puts into his straight, pimpin' redneck retardery, there is nothing that can outshine the fact that he sports a moustache that barely pubescent Filipino boys can trounce.
With all of his homies, his entourage and throngs of followers, any number of people could have staged an intervention on his "moustache" by now, and yet it persists. Notorious B.I.G.
Though his flow usually focused on dark storytelling, some of his more mainstream songs like "Big Poppa" and "Hypnotize" allowed Biggie an outlet for his sensitive side. He wanted the world to know he was a Renaissance man who didn't just slap bitches, but just frequently had sex with them. In the video for "Hypnotize," he managed to convey that message while on an epic run from the law with Diddy (or as he was known then, the dude who whispers "that's right" in the background of Biggie's songs). The chase finds them in a boat trying to outrun three helicopters, as well as attempting to escape from six motorcycles in a car driving exclusively in reverse. For two enterprising pimps, they had a tendency to choose unballin' modes of evasion.
His lyrics spoke clearly for him, even if he seldom did.
"Girlfriend here's a pen, call me round 10
"At last, a nigga rappin' bout blunts and broads
Why he's mistaken:
... or Quaid just prior to asphyxiating on the surface of Mars in Total Recall:
Prince, or the Artist Seldom Known As Subtle, has insisted since day one he is sex incarnate. While some singers occasionally bolster the notion with suggestive dancing or lyrical turns, Prince has opted it as his entire shtick.
The best part is it takes zero familiarity with his catalog to notice this. Just browse a selection of his song titles to make that case.
"Adore" On a side note: He's so overtaxed with his sexing that he doesn't even have time to spell out "to" or "you" in any of his song titles or lyrics, but rather juxtaposes with "2" and "U". Impressive!
Why he's mistaken:
[] Bouffant hairdo
Furthermore, while we understand musicians often leverage the power of wardrobe to give them an exotic style and indelible mental image, it also serves the distinct advantage of drawing attention away from their face. Whether it's ass-less pants or testosterone-less man blouses, Prince is always primped to make an impression. Even if you previously thought Prince was an institution to sexy, watch what happens to his mystique when he is removed from his normal couture and slides into a McDonald's uniform.
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sure what ever you say buddy hahahahaha
Uh... Prince doesn't look HOMELY in that McDonald's outfit, though I wouldn't doubt there are plenty of better-looking men out there.
By the way, this comment was made by a straight male.
@kinky_kitty: You don't have a good sense of humor, do you? :/
its probably quite funny how, in reality, half the men here are looking at this list, looking down at their brand new makeovers and going " falsetto voice, check. Purple suit? Check. Redneck cowboy hat? Check."
LOL.Funny article, girls do buy into confidence (money) before they actualy look at the appearance of a male celebrity...but meh, we're women and you just have to live with it lol
@kinky_kitty lighten up. -.-
@kinky_kitty
In response to your question, I ask you a question of my own: Does the word "comedy" mean anything to you?
where's lady gaga?
Dude....I'll give you Kid Rock, Biggie and Prince....But Usher?? Jay-Z?? ADAM LEVINE?!?!? You, my friend, do not understand how fucked up girls are. I would do *anything* with Adam Levine. Anything. I get shivers just looking at him.
well, since notorious big NEVER claimed to be a sex symbol and ALWAYS acknowledged that women liked him because he had a)money and b) a personality- i really don't see why he's on this list. (in his own words? "heart throb, never/black and ugly as ever/ however/ i stay gucci down to the socks/rings and watch filled with rocks")... besides, he did bang lil kim and faith, so apparently he has better game than any of you guys.
usher- is hot. sorry.
jay-z- is a camel. but he's got swagger.
all that bullshit aside, isn't it a little stupid for this list to be written by a man, since what attracts women is completely different than what attracts men? men are attracted by physical appearances. women are attracted by the persona a man exerts.(ie, my best friend thinks anything with blonde pigtails and silicone is hot. i think a man who shows confidence and a good balance of dominance is m***********g HOT, even if he's five inches shorter and wears high heels- haaaay, prince!- or has ridiculous lips and cranium measurements- call me when you get tired of beyonce's phony ass, jay!) so, really, why is there a man writing a list about how attractive other men may be to women? again- stick to whatcha know.write a list about women who aren't as hot as they think they are. or maybe i will, and sit back and see how stupid that list looks to you.
"Jay-Z doesn't look like Mr. Potato Head, he looks like a camel."
Haha I am glad I'm not the only one who sees that
@AshsWorkshed
"Okay, so Prince is about 8 inches shorter than me. Who gives a damn? The dude is exactly as hot as he thinks he is. How many people can rock a speedo and a trenchcoat?"
absolutely no one, especially not prince! i have nightmares for weeks after just hearing someone mention his name or "lack there of"
Okay, so Prince is about 8 inches shorter than me. Who gives a damn? The dude is exactly as hot as he thinks he is. How many people can rock a speedo and a trenchcoat?
Michael never thought of himself as a sex symbol? well, maybe he didn't say so, but this is a guy who sang a lot about getting with chicks while gyrating far more suggestively than elvis could have ever imagined and grabbing his crotch. and, until his face melted off, he was actually pretty hot in my opinion. I'd have screwed up all the way up through "Remember the Time"
Ugg, every time I see Prince, I throw up a little.
the side-by-side's were hilarious, especially Smalls/Schwarzennegger
Jay-Z doesn't look like Mr. Potato Head, he looks like a camel.
All true, all totally f*****g hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usher once picked a fight with a friend of mine, than ran away rather quickly when my friend took him up on it. Said friend is in a wheelchair and has no arms.
Adam Levine is hot in a nerdy way, Kid Rock is hot in an ugly way, the others just creep me out
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ummmmmm, did the writer of this article fully listen to either Jay-Z or Biggie's music before making the claim that they over estimate they're own sexuality? As kinky_kitty pointed out, Biggie fully acknowledged that it was his financial status and personality that drew women to him, and not his physical appearance. He never claimed to be overtly sexually appealing. You can refer to kinky_kitty's citation of lyrics from the song "Big Poppa" (a song the writer references as an example of Biggie's boasts, by the way. Apparently the writer's copy of the song didn't include the lyrics "heartthrob? never/black and ugly as ever") for Biggie's stance on what makes him appealing.
Jay-Z also made the same acknowledgment of his financial status being his main appealing feature, and not his looks or sexual prowess, in the song "Song Cry" - "It was the cheese helped them bitches get amnesia quick/ I used to cut up they buddies, now they sayin they love me/ Used to tell they friends I was ugly and wouldn't touch me/ Then I showed up in that dubbed out buggy/ And then they got fussy and they don't remember that". Notice the theme? Neither Jay-Z nor Biggie were "mistaken about their own raw sexuality". They know/knew exactly where their appeal comes/came from, and clearly do not belong on this list. If you were going to mention rappers on this list, you have about 90% of the rap artist population to choose from in terms of overestimating their own sexual appeal (Li'l Wayne being a prime example right now). Why choose two artists that already made the writer's point for him in their own songs?