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100 Acre Deadwood

By Clive Bannister, Russ Braun August 22, 2006 13,418 views

BANNED FROM THE STANDS: 100 ACRE DEADWOOD
"100 Acre Deadwood" was originally supposed to run in issue #1 of Cracked-but The Powers That Be in the magazine industry intervened before we could get it to print. A comic strip composed exclusively of beloved children's characters swearing, shooting smack and having sex with hookers was viewed by some to be a "bit too much" for our first issue, for some reason.

Keep in mind that the previous incarnation of Cracked was geared towards 12 year-olds. Now imagine that 12 year-old picking up a copy of Cracked and reading about Christopher Robbin getting ass-raped by drunken turn-of-the-century gold miners, and you can sort of see why A) we thought that would be hilarious, and B) we were told that under no circumstances could the comic run.

We tried adjusting the copy to tone it down a bit, but quickly realized that having Al Swearengen say, "You silly thumbsucker!" was just about the gayest thing possible, so we abandoned the idea entirely.

With the season finale of Deadwood quickly approaching, we figured now would be the best time to dig into the Cracked archives and post the original, "Too Hot For Newsstands" version of "100 Acre Deadwood".

We still think it'd be hilarious if a 12 year-old read it, though.

-CRACKED