Unpopular Opinion Podcast: Do Kids Prove We're Doomed? 5 Terrifying Ways Police Can Legally Screw You Over 5 Types of Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

Stephanie Tanner Smokes Meth

Down and Out in Parts Unknown
American Pie actress Natasha Lyonne was issued a bench warrant on Tuesday after she failed to appear in court late last week on charges of criminal mischief, trespassing and threatening to sexually molest her neighbor' dog. It is also rumored that Lyonne was addicted to intravenous drugs. Meanwhile, former child actress Jodie Sweetin, who played Stephanie Tanner on Full House, has admitted to being addicted to methamphetamines two years ago. Apparently, her former cast mates (including the Olsen twins) staged an intervention to help her get clean. Guess it really does suck to be the middle child.

People They Come Together"¦
Rumor has it that Kanye West hooked up with Pamela Anderson on the set of his "Touch the Sky" video, in which she had a cameo. We're still not sure which is bigger: her mammary glands or his ego"¦ both are unquestionably large enough to fill even the Grand Canyon.

"¦People They Fall Apart
Seems like no one in Hollywood can stay together. First, MILF goddess Heather Locklear filed for divorce from her husband, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora after 11 years of marriage, then Melrose Place alumn Josie Bissett filed for divorce from fellow actor and one-time MP co-star Rob Estes. While a statement from Estes confirmed that Bissett would be "moving on to greener pastures," we can only hope that one hetero member of Fall Out Boy goes for his and tries to snag Heather.

On Pace to Break the Century Mark
Rumor has it that Britney Spears is knocked up with her second child and her husband's 47th. While he' busy in the studio writing a dope song about it, the formerly sexy singer is set to make a guest appearance on Will & Grace as a Christian conservative cook show host before she starts showing. Praise the Lord!

Fetus Frenzy
New Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito was sworn in on Wednesday and cast his first vote, which was shockingly against executing a Missouri inmate who raped and murdered a 15-year-old girl. Wow, maybe he won't overturn Roe vs. Wade until his second week on the job.

Through The Looking Glass, Darkly
Now that he' conquered the world of making music for teenagers who hate their parents, shock rocker Marilyn Manson is reportedly starring as author Lewis Carroll in an "art house horror" film adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. Let' hope he' better in this movie than he was in Jawbreaker.
  • Random

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here

0 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!