We were promised robots. Crazy electronic sidekick or death-dealing automaton of doom, we didn't care, as long as the future shaped up to be the awesome electronic robo-battle we'd dreamed of as children. Flash forward 20 years and all we have are sorry, non-robotic pieces of supposedly innovative crap, such as "hybrid cars," "iPods," and "hope for the AIDs vaccine." Consider the below list a sort of report card, so modern scientists can see exactly how far they are from fulfilling the promises of our childhood.
10Johnny Five (Short Circuit)
Sure, he might be a little obnoxious, not to mention he has the dubious honor of sharing a marquee with 1980s staple Steve Gutenberg. But he scores points for looking like a robot that could actually, you know, "exist." Also, when he gets angry, his eyes go "destruction red" and he blows stuff up with a laser. Which is classic robot!
Lacking, Present Day Equivalent: Nintendo Wii
Good First Steps: Entertaining, good with people, rumored to malfunction and cause property damage without warning.
Lacks: Annoying Jackie Gleason impressions. On second thought"¦
9Lisa (Weird Science)
To this day, we're not sure exactly what the hell Kelly LeBrock' character was supposed to be in this film, but we're pretty sure computers were involved, making her at least quasi-robotic. And since it' a general rule at CRACKED to include at least one entry in every top ten list that we'd like to have sex with (see number 19 on "The 20 Worst Cover Songs in Pop Music History") we're including her.
Lacking, Modern Day Equivalent: Kate Beckinsale
Good First Steps: British accent, looks good in leather.
Lacks: Has yet to exit our closet in a cloud of fog and, through a series of wacky adventures, help us come of age.