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The Facebook Drinking Game

By Neil Pasricha June 1, 2007 53,669 views
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HOW TO PLAY

1. Grab a drink and gather round the computer monitor with your friends!

2. Take turns going through each other's Facebook Profiles!

3. Get shitfaced!

4. Try not to send rambling, incoherent messages to every girl you had a crush on in high school.

PROFILE PICTURE
Take 1 DRINK if your profile picture is a blank expression looking away from the camera
Take 2 DRINKS if your profile picture is you when you were a cute little baby
Take 3 DRINKS if your profile picture is a blank expression looking away from the camera when you were a cute little baby

BONUS: Do a chaser if your photo is also an artsy black and white shot or taken in front of a famous landmark like the Eiffel Tower or Golden Gate Bridge

FRIENDS LIST
Take 1 DRINK if your Friends List has someone on it who you don't know and have never talked to, but you don't want to delete them because you're not sure if they'll find out
Take 2 DRINKS if your Friends List has a platonic friend jokingly listed as 'You hooked up once'
Take 3 DRINKS if your Friends List has someone on it who stifles your entire Facebook existence, such as your an ex-girlfriend, your boss, or your real-life mom or dad

BONUS: Do a chaser if your mom or dad is listed as 'You hooked up once'

PHOTOS
Take 1 DRINK if you have posted a Photo Gallery called 'Random' or 'Misc'
Take 2 DRINKS if you have jokingly tagged an inanimate object in one of your photos with something like "Chair Darrell puked on"
Take 3 DRINKS if you have ever posted an as-big-as-possible 60-photo album covering one three-hour night out with your friends

BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever removed a tag of yourself from a picture and silently prayed nobody saw that old picture of you with glasses, man-boobs, and a side-part

GROUPS
Take 1 DRINK if you're in a charity group such as "For every 1000 people who join this group, I will donate $1 towards finding a cure for traffic jams"
Take 2 DRINKS if you're in a group for graduates of your elementary school, but you don't know anybody else in the group and whenever you visit the page you just get depressed
Take 3 DRINKS if you're in a group dedicated to bringing somebody else onto Facebook such as "Jessica Durk, get on Facebook already bitch!!!"

BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever created any of the above groups

PERSONAL INFO
Take 1 DRINK if you have posted a quote from Yoda
Take 2 DRINKS if you have posted a quote from Napoleon Dynamite
Take 3 DRINKS if you have posted a quote from Nietzsche

BONUS: Do a chaser if you have a quote from yourself

FACEBOOK HABITS
Take 1 DRINK if you've ever written "Wow! Never thought you'd join Facebook!" on someone's wall
Take 2 DRINKS if you've ever felt guilty when reading a lengthy Wall-To-Wall conversation between two people who are better friends with each other than they are with you
Take 3 DRINKS if you've ever checked the size of someone's friends list and felt superior that yours was bigger

BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever checked the size of someone's friends list and felt indignant that theirs was bigger, thinking to yourself, "Well ... they probably add people they don't even know! Nobody has that many friends!"


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24 Comments

7 drinks and 2 chasers.

9/24/2009 3:07:49 PM
Persephone

I would have liked to play but my life is not interesting enough for facebook/myspace/twitter and I don't care about what other people do when we are not together.
Wierd huh?

9/17/2009 2:17:53 PM
mudslngr1

5 drinks and a chaser.

The stiffler? My Jujitsu instructor. He's a Deputy Sherrif. I'm pretty damn law abiding, but it's still one of those things, you know.

My Dad's on my friend's list too, but, frankly, as long as I'm not doing drugs, I don't think he gives a s**t what I post.

8/4/2009 10:25:12 PM
Aradraugfea

0 drinks, 1 chaser

3/22/2009 7:35:19 PM
CorruptUser

0 drinks. Facebook is for tools.

3/22/2009 5:30:51 PM
Nicholas

8 drinks, 1 chaser. s**t.

3/5/2009 5:15:08 PM
Lana

6 drinks 1 chaser. hmmm, I need more pics on there

2/27/2009 4:11:08 PM
jenroack

i got none :(

2/23/2009 1:43:49 PM
Luvs2SPWG

13 drinks, 1 chaser. I lost.

2/17/2009 5:43:29 AM
jhfh

6 drinks, 2 chasers...

12/31/2008 5:24:02 PM
alexis

10 drinks and 1 chaser. wow. haha.

11/10/2008 2:28:50 PM
bibliophilica

1 Drink, 1 Chaser.

Man, I should get on Facebook more.

9/22/2008 3:28:58 PM
Karly

14 drinks, and 4 chasers. oh no... i am truly a douchebag

9/7/2008 12:53:09 PM
shadyzladii

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6/18/2008 11:32:13 AM
sexybigmesexy

Hey, you know what? I wrote this dang article and one other one and these Cracked guys never paid me! They're probably discriminating against me because I'm Canadian.

6/10/2008 5:28:45 PM
neilp

er.......uh......14 drinks and a chaser.......that last section really got me....

5/14/2008 10:31:44 PM
fudgeislove

3 drinks and a chaser.

4/20/2008 10:26:41 AM
MichaelFurlong

I'm getting really... really drunk now. me head hurts and there's puke on the screen. i can only barely see my friend-list through the chunks of carrot and something i swear i've never eaten

3/19/2008 4:21:16 PM
squirly

why the hell did you omit facebook stalking? are you trying to not be liable for deaths caused by chugging the bottle?

3/8/2008 9:15:56 PM
binaryday

pretty funny. i got quotes from ND, joined some of those groups and have one of those pics. damn

12/22/2007 10:17:50 PM
grimes

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