The 5 Most Annoying Banner Ads On The Internet
5
TBS Funny Ads
This is everything that's wrong with the modern media in one convenient image, for the busy modern person who needs to lose faith in humanity 'on the go'. A website dedicated to the commercials which prevent you from watching the programs on television. This is why technology hasn't done all the things it promised to, like curing cancer or constructing Killbots programmed to travel back in time and kill Steve Martin sometime after Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but before Bringing Down the House. A site dedicated to the very best in ads is like a drink brewed for the very finest of hangovers- they're focusing on a horrible unwanted side-effect and a head-injury inspired decision somewhere has somehow made it the point.
Worse, they're targeting the most annoying demographic on the planet: the "I only watch it for the ads" vacuum-headed smirkers. This is a public service announcement: SAYING YOU DO NOT LIKE SOMETHING POPULAR DOES NOT MAKE YOU INDIVIDUAL AND EDGY. It makes you dumbass- at least the unoriginal hooting herd enjoy the damn game. You're being equally unoriginal, dumber, and deliberately spending time to point out how you don't like it. Do you think a monkey that repeatedly eats stones and complains about it is the "cool, unique" monkey in among his friends? No, he's the stupid one even in a group whose main hobbies are masturbating in public and throwing shit at each other.
It's terrifying that ads are becoming this popular. Their content reveals that the average IQ is in a terrifying death-dive, and the only thing dropping faster is Joe Q. Public's attention span. These are the people who said "Wazzzzzup?". They are the reason why, in an age where information can be beamed around the world faster than Superman, headlines have been reduced to "Terrorists are Bad" and "Puppies are Cute." Their slack-jawed superpower to do exactly what they're told is why an editorial hinting that maybe we shouldn't base education on two thousand-year-old papyrus rags found in a cave is considered "controversial."
Best. Rant.Ever.
ReplyI'm a sweet, friendly, honest , caring girl in search of "the one".I've been single for over one years so i got a name Amanda2011 on----- richmatchmaking.c%o~m -------to find my Mr right..it is the first and best club for wealthy people and their admirers. …you don’t have to be rich ,but you can meet one there , maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends! Sometimes the perfect person for you is the one you least expect. maybe you can have a try.asftywereyyi..............
ReplyI JUST saw #2 on another tab when I refreshed the page. For FaceBook.
ReplyYeah, banner ads were the worst. I still think the eye-searing green-on-cyan '90s sites are better than the uniform sterile blue and white sites of today, though.
ReplyYes, those are all very annoying.
ReplyPeople aren't getting stupider... we're just now realizing how stupid they are.
ReplyI know it's not a banner ad, but I hate ads on a webpage that are videos that randomly hit play. So I have to look at all my open tabs frantically to figure out what the f**k that obnoxious noise is. Even worse, they started making ones that you can't turn off the sound or pause it. They're always on webpages where I'm trying to watch a video.
Reply"SAYING YOU DO NOT LIKE SOMETHING POPULAR DOES NOT MAKE YOU INDIVIDUAL AND EDGY." There are people who need this tattooed on the back of their eyelids. That way, they're reminded of it every time they blink.
ReplyWow, so Luke has been unfunny here since 2007.
ReplyBrowsing through the article, I noticed the advertisement above the Facebook like button, which in this case was 'WIN FREE* BATTLESHIP PRIZE PACKS'... something I found very ironic when I reached the second page...
Reply*I added the FREE part in to add drama to my statement.. feel free to ignore it though...
When surfing the internet, I run the risk of having PTSD style flashbacks of middle school, brought on by the sound of "congratulations you won!" that I would hear constantly across the internet back in those days. I guess I made an association between the torture and the ad.
ReplyThe ad is much less common today, but when I'm exploring some old site looking for a working download link to a forgotten Blender plugin, I hear that noise, and suddenly I'm having pencil tips being shoved into my central nervous system again by Kyle.
And thus AdBlock was given to the masses free of charge, to make up for the injustice humanity has endured,
ReplyAm I the only one who still wakes up at night remembering The Mosquito?? Usually at about 3 in the morning with sweat beading on my face. The Mosquito that killed any hope of listening to music when visiting certain sites and one of the few things ever to make me contemplate violence to my fellow human beings . . .
ReplyI hated that damn thing. I still hate that damn thing. It's a plague like the Hamster Dance.
Whilst reading this article about annoying adds....one of your annoying adds popped up...you know the ones that take over the entire page and when you click to close nothing happens so you have to refresh the page and read said article very quickly before said add strike again!!!
ReplyDoesn't anyone want to go back in time, find the mother of the guy who invented pop-over ads, and feed her slowly into a wood chipper? Maybe it's just me.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe woodchipper is a pretty good idea, but I'd prefer to nail her to the ceiling, stab her a few times, and leave her to bleed to death.
No, I just want to find out what the guy that invented the pop-up ad enjoys, then give him an internet full of nothing but what he enjoys directly underneath about a million pop-over ads. Of course every click would open another.
@misterPickle: alt + f4.
unfunny rant
ReplyWhile I was reading the last page I literally put up my hand to cover up that goddamn jiggling abomination.
ReplyLast time I heard of somebody doing that was at a strip club.
Is it strange that I saw at least 3 ads like this while reading the article? At first I thought they were part of the article itself, but then I looked a little closer and my grandmother was touching herself.
ReplyHELLOOOOOOO
ReplyHELLOOOOOOO
SAY SOMETHING!
HELLOOOOOOO!
OH MY GOD, NO WAY!
This article was sorta funny -- kinda. I like angry humor, but this was unappetizingly hostile. Not right for Cracked.
Reply