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The 5 Most Annoying Banner Ads On The Internet

By Luke McKinney April 4, 2007 335,618 views
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In the beginning, there were text smileys. And it was good. People who could spell transmitted thoughts around the globe, finding uses for neglected keys to generally acting like smart people. But with the advance of technology the ability to "use a computer" or "think with mouth closed" are no longer required to get online and banner ads are ever ready to harvest the new subliterate hordes. By simply installing a suspicious, unregistered third party program the ascii grins and yellow circles we know and love can be replaced with gargantuan textured and shaded atrocities. Like carving layers of meat off a horse to make it more aerodynamic - painful, wasteful and the results are nightmarishly bad.

Smiley apologists explain how graphic images can compress complex sentiments quickly, and they're right. If you can represent your thoughts with horrible bug-eyed spheres painted by a failed computer science student then I instantly understand that I hate you and anything you might possibly say. It saves a lot of time. Some even declare 'now with sound', which is like rabies declaring "Now with weeping, pus-filled sores!". Even if you've escaped your handlers, forgotten to take your medication, and now want to use these leprous scabs on communication then anyone you talk to has to have installed the same smiley extension. That's like joining a club for people who shoved screwdrivers into their ears, but only being allowed to talk to those who used the exact same type of screwdriver. Not that they'll be able to hear you.

any ad that had sound in it. this is especially aggravating if i need to open multiple tabs at once only to frantically search for which page began the screeching and wailing (usually associating with those frighteningly huge smiley things that satan apparently decided would be "fun" to unleash on mankind).

oh, and really awful CG people in a less-than-convincing animation loop that makes it look like they should be walking in circles or just falling over.

oh... and ads that someone decided would be "clever" to make blend right in to the site they're on. you think it's really another "cute little game" on your "cute little game" site and suddenly they want your cell number... and they would like to charge you $9.99/mo for no discernible reason. these are not dangerous for an adult whose IQ > their age, but these things pop up on sites like myspace and other sites with kids. it's just too mean to rip off parents because you managed to make your ad look just like all the other legit features of the parent-approved website some brat is on.

8/12/2009 6:47:53 AM
Conformist138

No I think the worst ad's are those "saving feels good" ads seirously they appeer on almost every site I frequently go on

6/24/2009 9:55:59 AM
Zetar

The worst ads of all time are the ones with those stupid dancing people. I f*****g hate the stupid dancing people!! A little bit of sanity oozes away everytime I see one -_-

3/31/2009 10:49:56 AM
KaeleaMajere

Frickin, farkin, f*****g Party f*****g Poker! Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, ad nauseum. Pun inteded. Hate.

3/21/2009 9:57:13 PM
stressbunny

No, no, no! Most annoying ads of all... Ads with sound! Like the stupid You have won a Nintendo Wii add, that is now on ever damn web page known to man!

1/7/2009 7:41:58 PM
scloutkst2889

i agree with Souris, in a way. What about the ads that make noises at you? when you scroll over the "With Sound!" smiley ads, each smiley yells some kind of cliched phrase at you. Or even worse - the scenario where you have your volume turned all the way up to better hear your favorite music and the page you click on has a giant banner ad with a female electronic voice that is somehow much louder than iTunes. this stereotypical computer voice informs you that you have won a free ipod repeatedly until you close the page. now THOSE types should have made this list too!

10/19/2008 7:52:15 AM
bibliophilica

What about ads that make noises like shrill beeping every few seconds to get your attention?
They're rare, but seriously annoying when you come across them... you know, throw-your-computer-across-the-room type of annoying

10/9/2008 1:54:54 PM
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9/23/2008 1:57:49 AM
jasonjones

Those damn jiggling ads compel me to view pages in source code. I'd rather wade through HTML than have someone try to get my attention in the most annoying way possible, just so they can try to sell me something for something I don't have. (ex: penis enlargement pills for my vagina x_x)

9/1/2008 9:37:26 PM
Wren

This is so true! great article :p

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3/31/2008 9:19:59 PM
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3/31/2008 8:57:44 PM
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3/31/2008 9:17:20 AM
ӮbͶY

"Jiggling Animation" -- so annoying, ;c

3/28/2008 1:52:56 PM
purple16heaven

"Win a Free Thing" i hate this! ;c

3/28/2008 1:49:37 PM
purple16heaven

Haha nice article i think i have been the one millionth visitor to about 36 sites in the past 2 weeks

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