5 Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do

What annoys me the most is the way movie/tv noises seem to make beepity-boop noises everytime some so much as presses a button or clicks a mouse.

He, war games is the only movie in this funny list, that actually has a point to it: This was about removing the human factor from launchin a "full scale nuclear war"
bit of a teen-age-eighties "doctor strangelove"

my computer can fling poop.

"imagine how boring movies would be if they actually stuck to how computers work?"

>You mean that they search for a bunch of passwords and then when that fail they look for porn?

I'd probebly pay to see that. Imagine the REALISM! I'd goo al like: I do that everyday!!

I actually just hacked into cracked.com and posted this comment.

imagine how boring movies would be if they actually stuck to how computers work?

2 hours of a blue screen of death, umpteen restarts and capped broadband would really win an Oscar...

www.tokillfor.com

"Since Americans have never met a threat we couldn't grossly exaggerate" LOL.
I love this country. SO. f*****g. MUCH.

i, too, am one of those people that picks out every little impossible thing in a movie. it is not until now that i realise, its just a bloody movie, it isnt meant to be realistic

I found the Jurassic Park "hacking" extremely annoying, but am uncertain it suited the thesis of this argument. Great article.

anything is possible in the land of fiction. presumably that is why it is called fiction.

For some reason, FayeKane, I doubt the geek cred of someone who keeps her Weblog on MySpace.

FayeKane if you look like bullock i can be your friend :P ....

"shitwolf3

How ironic: the screen shot from Independence Day shows a computer-screeen annihilation countdown displaying the numbers 9:11. Maybe computers are more sentient than even Hollywood gives them credit for...

lostprophet94

If so.explain the 59."

Since Independence Day got released in Norway 59 months before 9/11, I'm guessing this is kind of a sign. The vikings (including me since I'm Norwegian) did it.
Also it's revenge since it's mathematically 590 something since Columbus stole Vinland and renamed it America. This happened in 1490 (technically 1492, but whos counting), and 2001 is 1001 years after we, the glorious vikings, found that crappy island. 1001 is kinda like 100*1, and that equals 100. add this to 1490 (although its technically 1492) and you've got 1590. Remove 1000 (when Vinland was discovered) and youve got 590 (and everyone knows an 1994 model Apple-crap only counts seconds, so they had to remove the last 0 (and zero is zero, so who really cares?)

Although I'm still counting on my first theory.
Also vikings had beards, quasi-brown skin (lots and lots of sea and sun) and kind of boring clothing (whool) so its perfectly alright to invade Afganistan instead. Its an honest mistake. Really. Both Afganistan and Norway have lots and lots of mountains.

how is Terminator not a huge offender of #1?

If you enhance this picture of me, you can see a reflection of my computer screen, reverse it and get my real name.

Yeah, pretty much anything from CSI: was rediculous

Actually, you might just need to upload more pictures.

Ok I read your myspace about me and you're pretty f*****g cool. But you do NOT look like Sandra Bullock. sorry.

"In the real world, a computer geek who was female and looked like Bullock would have approximately 375 male "friends" orbiting around her on a daily basis"

HEY! I'm a female computer geek who looks like bullock, and I barely have any friends at all!

Why?

Same reason as the guys: BECAUSE I'M A GOD DAMN WEIRDO AUTISTIC GEEK, CURSED BY GOD AND MAN TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING AND CONTROL **NOTHING**!!

..JEE-zuss!

I wish the f*****g society would stop assuming that just because geeks can do REALLY USEFUL magic tricks like visualizing a rotating 4-dimensional cube, that somehow that makes them, like, oh, HAPPY or something...

-- faye kane, homeless brain
Read more of my smartmouth opinions at http://blog.myspace.com/fayekane

Of course, everyone knows all alien motherships can understand C++