12 Great Video Games With Ridiculous Premises
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Video gamers have consistently demanded one thing from their hobby: entertainment. Beyond that, we don't much care what inane task we're asked to complete. Give us a crystal banana, call it a power-up, and we'll gladly leap over a robot octopus to grab it, even if it means risking a slice of our life pie. In many cases, it' plausible to assume the designers threw darts at a board covered in nouns and verbs, smoked crack until they forgot what nouns and verbs they picked, then made Warioware. Here are 12 more insane video game premises that prove you don't have to be Tolstoy, or even coherent, to design a hit game. Super Mario Bros.
The Premise: An Italian plumber travels through a brightly-colored fantasy world collecting coins and mushrooms. He crushes turtles and goombas (essentially brown, waddling monstrosities) to death in order to rescue a princess from being raped by a dinosaur who pilots an airship. What Made It Ridiculous: It was enough that mushrooms made you big and flowers made you shoot fireballs from your hands. By the time they added in a raccoon suit, a mechanical boot, and a dinosaur mount, it was pretty much anything goes. At that point, a mug power-up that gives you a rake that turns you invisible would have fit in fairly easily. Why We Didn't Care: We were too busy cursing at the screen each time we found out the Princess was in a different goddamned castle. Mega Man
The Premise: You are a robot built from the ground up for combat by the world' greatest living mind, and yet you are four feet tall and incapable of ducking or using any weapons other than a tiny, slow-moving pellet of energy. You have been tasked with killing other robots, whose powers have themes like "leaves" and "garbage." What Made It Ridiculous: The fact that blasting an evil robot into oblivion somehow immediately granted you their powers. If that were really the case, I would have killed Tom Cruise long ago. Why We Didn't Care: He had a robot dog, which is basically the secret dream of every 10-year-old boy in the world. |
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I know a game that is way more ridiculous than any of these. It is called "Comical Machinegun Joe". A guy in a hat, who can only move sideways and jump, but cannot move forward, shoots mafians with a gun that makes them shrink and run across the screen (where they attach to him if he gets in their way). Sometimes, a pig walks by and when you shoot it, it gives you a grenade. And when the grenade explodes while there is an even number of mafians on screen, a giant invincible spider appears and blocks bullets. And this all happens on places where you would expect mafians, like Docks, Salloon and Fairyland. The game is not very well known though, because it is very old and was only sold in japan (but can be found on all rom sites). Absolutely nothing in this game makes sense. Needless to say, it is fun for hours.
I know I'm sounding a bit nerdy about this but I'm pretty sure those pics of Mario Party are from the sequel. Primarily because I don't own the original but I have the sequel and I've played and beaten that game 20 frikkin' times.
I'm sure Swaim is aware that echidnas are real animals. He was probably making a reference to the fact that they are named after Echidna, the mythical Mother of all Monsters from Greek mythology.
(And I don't mean Echidna was the Mother of all Monsters because she was the biggest and baddest, I mean she was literally the mother of all the major monsters in Greek mythology, like Cerberus and the Hydra.)
ECHIDNAS ARE REAL.
And now I'll bore you with Mario facts:
The girl in Donkey Kong isn't Princess Peach. In fact, she's not a princess at all. She's just some girl. Called Pauline.
I appreciate the fact that you have enough pride to admit what is ridiculous about these games, but that you just don't care. I can appreciate that. I STILL play the mixed match of Dr. Mario and Tetris....I might just go play right now!
DK 64 was pretty rediculous. The king of reptiles has stolen your horde of bananas and pointed a giant gun directly at your island home. Do you go pummel him? No. Instead you decide to help free his inbred cousin who he has locked up for being too damn retarded.
Haa, somehow I knew Pokemon was gonna be up there. Great game.
I know everything about Pokemon. :D
From Bulbasaur to Arceus, yup!
@ ThePotatoKing: Fortune had some magnetic card that repels bullets, doesn't she? I don't know about the missiles though, I never got that far . . .
I played the original super smash bros, and jigglypuff is f*****g BEAST!
i don't put ASS in my initials, i put GOD
That stuff about guitar hero:
I have uploaded videos of me to youtube FCing songs on expert.
I DO play:
Guitar - OK
Keyboard - pretty good
Drums - good
Bass - pretty good
even if i started playing some before GH, i must say you build up your musicalness, playing guitar hero PERIOD
TehJoker is right
even though I had long been under the impression that Jumpman was a garbageman, the all-knowing WikePedia states that he is in fact a carpenter
on a related note, why isn't Donkey Kong, Jr.s' game not on here "Donkey Kong Country"?
his horde of bananas has been stolen by the King of Krocodiles!
and Donkey Kong the Third ("Diddy Kong's Quest") the Krocodiles have for some reason taken up a life of piracy
In Metal Gear Solid 4 they explained all of the stuff that didn't comply to the laws of the nature, such as how a ghost contained in a severed arm can take over someones body.
Except that in MGS2, Fortune basically stops everyone from getting killed when they're being attacked by missiles from RAY by using magic.
If you've played the game you'll understand what the hell I just wrote.
What about any GTA game? Some guy commits crimes for money.
What nonsense....
Skagboy
Isn't that the premise of most console RPG's out there?
The "imaginary animal called an echidna" thing was a joke, Dummkopf.
"Just a note, a echidna IS a real animal. They're like a cross between a porcupine and an anteater."
No. They're not. They're a relative of the Platypus and are the only other mammal to lay eggs.
But yes, they look absolutely nothing like Knuckles.
I think Legend of Zelda should have been on the list. A prepubescent boy is repeatedly put to the task of destroying hundreds of monsters including some extremely large and dangerous ones. Theres the evil wizard who can obviously kick his ass. Also, HE WIELDS A SWORD. Who in their right mind gives a kid a sword. Also, He Never Sleeps!
Just a note, a echidna IS a real animal. They're like a cross between a porcupine and an anteater.
Of course, they look NOTHING like Knuckles...
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They should've included Tetris in Smash Bros.