Home > Sex > Sex-Off! Women of the '70s vs. Today
Featured  

Sex-Off! Women of the '70s vs. Today

By Clive Bannister
article image

If you're like us, you yearn for a time when fondue, tennis and cognac ruled the social scene and the women were bra-less and easy. We're not talking about last Wednesday at Burt Reynolds' windowless Malibu chateau-we're talking about the 1970s. Not surprisingly, the women of that carefree, mustache-accepting decade were notably more attractive.

Why? Maybe it was the fact that their breasts were made of playfully droopy fat deposits rather than sacks of plastic, and their faces weren't stretched out and injected with horse semen (that's what Botox is, right?). Or maybe it's just the simple fact that cocaine hadn't really caught on yet. Either way, we conducted some scientific-ish research and proved indisputably that the women of the 1970s are tits and ass above the women of today.

THE '70s: Bo Derek

During the 1970s, Bo Derek sent a strong, womanly message to men under 40: "Hey, why don't you jack off while you look at me?" And jack off they did. With four-inch-long nipples and the face of a sexy, whorish angel, Derek became a shower companion to men nationwide.

Lohan, however, fluctuates between 47 and 182 pounds, and her daily breakfast is usually a surprisingly accurate recreation of the last scene from Scarface. Oddly enough, she was a lot hotter back when she was 15. Yeah, we'd much rather bang the 15 year-old Lin-what? Nothing. Oh yeah-we were going to say that she also appears to be African-American from the waist down, and that's just weird.

WINNER: THE '70s



  • First
  • ←  Previous
  • Page 1 of 5
  • Next  →
  • Last

Submit to: Reddit Facebook StumbleUpon Digg Del.icio.us

Post Comment

107 Comments

Diane Keaton. In the 70s, not now.

Posted on 5/12/2008 7:39:36 PM

All the others are agreeable, but Wonderwoman being better than Kate Beckinsale? Hell no.

Posted on 5/6/2008 3:32:06 AM

Phoebe's hot but, better than Elisha?? You're fucking crazy...

Posted on 5/3/2008 8:45:25 PM

I still wanna jerk off on Phoebe.

Posted on 5/2/2008 7:52:19 PM

The hair the smile the NIPPLES! Whew Farrah was in her own league.

Posted on 5/2/2008 7:50:57 PM

Friends mom my ass! Lynda was hot, probably still is.

Posted on 5/2/2008 7:45:45 PM

Cathrine Bach not Barbara.

Posted on 5/2/2008 7:40:13 PM

Fuckin A.

Posted on 4/27/2008 2:38:20 PM

WTF?! The 70's should have lost on every single one of those match-ups.

Posted on 4/24/2008 5:37:11 PM

'Beckinsdale?' WTF? How 'bout BeckinSALE? And also, why did she not win? Good Lord.

Posted on 4/4/2008 9:30:17 PM

I'd let her dad give me $1000000 to stop fucking his daughter like the slut that she is.

Posted on 3/28/2008 10:02:34 AM

WTF...showed up on the wrong page. But....since i'm here...Lindsay could suck my cock...so long as she cleaned the puke out of her bulimic mouth first...stomach acid on the dick is uncomfortable.

Posted on 3/28/2008 10:00:22 AM

Elisha Cuthbert wins. Look at theat body..and she played a porn star in a movie!!! Remember her from PMK?....now i feel dirty!

Posted on 3/28/2008 9:57:32 AM

FarrahALIVE?

Farrah...U still alive baby?! Call me...yeah, yeah, drop that fucking restraining order...I'll use a condom next time. You're runnin' outta time baby...call me. I'll pound that cancer right outta you! Email me at: www.NeilsNotes.com

Posted on 3/25/2008 9:28:39 PM

ˮ

˫Ƥ(Ϻ)˾رעĵ˫ƤɶṩӢ˫Ƥ˫Ƥ˫Ƥ˫Ƥ˫Ƥ޸,˫Ƥ޸,˫Ƥ޸,˫Ƥ޸׬Ǯ,˫Ƥ޸,˫Ƥ޸,˫Ƥ޸ѡйˮýӵרҵˮϢˮý綯̬ͬҵϢˮýϡˮԴ翴ýںˮ ... ȫʡˮʾλǼˮ÷93. Ͷˮҵڰ ... ʮһˮάȨעˮͶҪעʱЧˮˮҳƵѵ¼,ˮù˾,ˮƹ˾,ˮ޹˾,ˮ÷չ޹˾ˮˮҳƵѵ¼,ˮù˾,ˮƹ˾,ˮ޹˾,ˮ÷չ޹˾811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/24/2008 7:26:21 AM

that was so funny! if you have time better check out this cracked asian style! http://newslol.blogspot.com

Posted on 3/24/2008 12:48:21 AM

that was so funny! if you have time better check out this cracked asian style! http://newslol.blogspot.com

Posted on 3/24/2008 12:48:18 AM

"Happy cock-touching!" You know me so well.

Posted on 3/20/2008 11:05:32 PM

ʪ

翴ýںᤤϵ ... ȫʡᤤϵʾλǼᤤϵ93. Ͷ߳ᤤϵҵڰ ... ʮһᤤϵάȨעᤤϵͶҪעʱЧ߳ᤤϵ̳רҵᤤϵᤤϵ˾ܲõijᤤϵ۵㣬ᤤϵչѧоͨᤤϵ˾(ᤤϵȹ˾/Ϻᤤϵȹ˾/ݳᤤϵȹ˾/ڳᤤϵȹ˾),ᤤϵȹ˾һרҵᤤϵȹ˾ȥᤤϵΪṩʵᤤϵܡᤤϵСᤤϵȣᤤϵȳ·ᤤϵ·ᤤϵȾ·߹ԣCTIN̨ṩ̨̾ͼƬгѶ,ṩг۹гͨʪťʪʪڳʪʾʪαʶʪȫʪ811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/20/2008 7:20:15 PM

its a battle between photoshopped glamour-pics and vaseline covered lenses. the winner is the one that loks most like the pic in real life. gotta give it to Cuthbert and Cates. they are the sexy book ends on mine and my dad's fantasy.

Posted on 3/20/2008 9:55:26 AM

More Sex


Popular stuff


Avatar
Ross Wolinsky
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:45:28 AM
Post Subject: Apparently Bill O'Reilly Has ALWAYS Been A Douche: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

You know what I'd do with a time machine? Grab a laptop, load up a bunch of websites with people all like "ZOMG BILL O'REILLY IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE" on them, and head back in time to the set of Insi ...

Avatar Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly Actually Same Person?!
First of all, kudos to the marketing wizard who came up with the headline to this article: "Study Re ...
Avatar The Most Anticlimatic Story Of All Time: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
You probably think I'm going to make fun of Marche Taylor for wearing a skimpy dress to her prom ...
Recently Popular on Digg