Sex-Off! Women of the '70s vs. Today
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If you're like us, you yearn for a time when fondue, tennis and cognac ruled the social scene and the women were bra-less and easy. We're not talking about last Wednesday at Burt Reynolds' windowless Malibu chateau-we're talking about the 1970s. Not surprisingly, the women of that carefree, mustache-accepting decade were notably more attractive. Why? Maybe it was the fact that their breasts were made of playfully droopy fat deposits rather than sacks of plastic, and their faces weren't stretched out and injected with horse semen (that's what Botox is, right?). Or maybe it's just the simple fact that cocaine hadn't really caught on yet. Either way, we conducted some scientific-ish research and proved indisputably that the women of the 1970s are tits and ass above the women of today.
During the 1970s, Bo Derek sent a strong, womanly message to men under 40: "Hey, why don't you jack off while you look at me?" And jack off they did. With four-inch-long nipples and the face of a sexy, whorish angel, Derek became a shower companion to men nationwide. Lohan, however, fluctuates between 47 and 182 pounds, and her daily breakfast is usually a surprisingly accurate recreation of the last scene from Scarface. Oddly enough, she was a lot hotter back when she was 15. Yeah, we'd much rather bang the 15 year-old Lin-what? Nothing. Oh yeah-we were going to say that she also appears to be African-American from the waist down, and that's just weird. WINNER: THE '70s |
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This is so biased. There are three girls in the list that are admittedly hotter than their 70's counterpart. Elisha Cuthbert is way hotter than that phoebe cates. And even if she lost the feathery hair and the fur jacket she'd still be hot. And jessica simpson is also hotter than her counterpart. And the thing that makes kate beckinsale hotter than wonder woman is she's an awesome kickass vampire. She is way more badass than wonder woman. The author just probably too intimidated by her.
Kate Beckinsale is like Chuck Norris, but hotter and with a vagina.
That said, nice picks on everything else.
I have to say, the 70's women are a lot hotter. They look more real..
yeah and ishanatur, i gotta say, i dont really get what'cha mean tomatoes or bricks. besides, three of the four (admittedly red-hot) chicks on your list are FICTIONAL and exist only in ink-form. now while babes consisting entirely of ink and a lonely, single and depressed artist's imagination are undeniably the fufilment of pretty much everyone's fantasy (ever heard of jessica rabbit?), they cannot be compared with the ACTRESS portraying wonder woman. if i may use a crappy analogy (hee hee anal) that would be like comparing H.A.L with those freaky japanese robots that can talk and everything!
aaaaaaaaand the actual article...in this humble sex-god's opinion, beauty is relative. by which i mean, what is hot to us poor 21st century guys is OBVIOUSLY not going to be the same as the opinion of the 70's crowd.
i find, in "whats hot" three things to be constant...
1)boobs-bigger the better
2)thighs/ass-GOOD!
3)hairy lip/scars- BAD!
everything else is just a product of the society at the time.
P.S yes sarah michelle geller (note: not buffy) is very hot
Gotta say Kate Beckinsale is hotter then all of the women that you listed there Ishanatur... Well at least in underworld that is, She is still hot in real life but she looks a hella lot better as a vampire chick....
Wow, this wasnt a competition... at all...
Apparently the biggest superhero from our time is... that chick from underworld?! a character whose name I cant even remember? Not catwoman, su storm, lara croft... hell even f#cking buffy is hotter than that woman!
And the reasons that the 70's women are winning is... because todays women dont have the 70's look???!!! am i the only person who sees the flaw in that argument...im not saying that 70's women arent hot... but that is like saying what makes a better spaghetti sauce... tomatoes or bricks (and just incase you didnt know the answer is tomatoes)
Seriously I have to say Elisha Cuthbert and Kate Beckinsale won their categories, mainly because Mrs Carter looks a little old for her age in that picture.
Elisha technically didn't lose; The 70's look won, and they mentioned the reason she's gorgeous is she has a seventies look to her, so they both win. Rest easy with that knowledge, friend.
dude c'mon! Elisha Cuthbert so won over that witch. The rest I cannot detest.
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STD is on the rise.
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one of the shittiest articles on here. the reasons for the '70s winning are all bullshit. all this generation's women are 10x hotter yet lose for retarded reasons according to this. jessica simpson doesn't have a sexy pose? this random nerd inexplicably knows that farrah fawcett was better at sex than paris? wow, stfu.
Eliash Cuthbert DID beat Phoebe Cates. If you read the article, they claim that Elisha Cuthbert is so hot the she must had come from the 70s.
This article was weak. It was so biased. There is no way Phoebe Cates beats Elisha Cuthbert.
Kate Beckinsale can't lose at anything.
Ever.
I completely agree with you about Elisha Cuthbert having the 70's sex appeal, okay well not completely. I think if she wore less makeup, she'd REALLY look like one of the lovely ladies from that time. She has the round face, the chubbyish cheeks, and the sexy body. She even has a very beautiful face, but the makeup just makes her less 70's.
Ummm, is Bo Derek really that ugly? Maybe it's just the braids (they look bad on black girls, they look terrible on white girls, and they literally make me nauseous on blonde girls).
Beckinsale, not Beckinsdale
Chillun, we knew real women then, what you got has a long way to go to grow up and be something.
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Give me Lindsay Lohan, Elisha Cutbert and Jessica Simpson over their 70's counterparts any day.