As you can see from the sad cast of the forgotten, ignored and I thought you were dead, a lot of performers have fallen on hard times. Here' how embarrassed each one should be for their role in this atrocity.
Hank Williams, Jr.
It' tough to fault Bocephus here. Even though his pappy was one of the greatest songwriters ever, Junior' retrofitting of his own "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight" into what you see above has propelled him into untold strata of fame. For instance, in addition to the pickup-driving, shit-kicking, brown people-hating demographic who exalt his every whisker, even slightly less racist people have become vaguely familiar with his name.
Embarrassment Factor: 6
Well, seeing as how Little has already cashed checks from Homeboys In Outer Space, Baywatch, and whoever was responsible for Mystery, Alaska, getting that NFL per diem is something he should actually be proud of. You know, something to hang in his den.
Embarrassment Factor: 2
As the man defensive hip hop lovers turn to when their art is derided as a soulless pit of tired samples and ugly jewelry, the Roots drummer should really hang his fro in shame and relinquish his black power fist hair pick. He is happily dropping beats for a guy who is most likely pissed that he' even allowed to vote or own land.
Embarrassment Factor: 9
This guy absconded even the ability to embarrass himself about 40 pairs of fringed chaps ago. That tends to happen when you sell your name to a Disney rollercoaster and a line of hot sauces. Perry is so far gone that plugging his Les Paul into a stack of Volkswagens and forming and power trio of shame with Slash and Nigel Tufnel could actually be construed as a step back toward artistic credibility.
Embarrassment Factor: 3
Steven Van Zandt
Little Steven stepped right up to the line of acceptable shilling when he soldered that pompadour to his noggin as Silvio on The Sopranos. But dusting off his E Street bandana and following Hank Jr. into the breach is really asking a lot. It' like that friend of yours who starts wearing a wristband on his forearm for no reason whatsoever. You'll let that slide, but when he starts frosting his bangs, it' time for an intervention/beating. Embarrassment Factor: 5
There' no way the smoky tint of Bootsy' star cut shades allow him to correctly identify the diverse menagerie of has-beens and please-don'ts he is sharing the stage with. If you squint hard enough, Charlie Daniels and George Clinton look like they were separated at birth.
Embarrassment Factor: 1
Nielsen has always trafficked in the zany. When guys like Steve Vai were rocking double- and triple-necked guitars, Nielsen blazed his own trail with a guitar with so many necks that its very existence mocked the Lord. In fact, we wouldn't be surprised if Nielsen recognized the inherent ridiculousness of assembling random collection past-their-prime musical personalities to coronate the majesty of one of about 20 weekly football broadcasts. It' kind of like hiring the A-Team to help you find your keys. Embarrassment Factor: 2