Covering other people's material is a mainstay in pop music. Why bother taking the time to write an original song when you can just recycle somebody else's hit, redo it with an acoustic guitar (or, if it's an acoustic song, with an electric guitar) and generate the same result? But it doesn't always work out as planned, especially if you don't bother to figure out what made the original song popular in the first place (or in the case of our #1 choice, even bother to learn the damn lyrics first). Below, 20 great songs that received sound butcherings by artists who should've known better. A lot better.
20
"You Shook Me All Night Long" - Celine Dion and Anastasia
This is the perfect song to play if you've just ingested poison and urgently need to induce vomiting. But even if it's a life or death situation, you might want to think twice before clicking play. While it may save your life, you will be haunted by the image of Celine Dion playing air guitar for the rest of your days.
19
"Downtown Train" - Rod Stewart
Did Rod Stewart just wake up one day in 1977 and decide to become a pathetic, grotesque parody of himself? Or did he ease into it over time, like a pair of his stretched-beyond-relief leather pants? "Lead singer of The Faces"-era Rod was known to drop some kick-ass covers. But then came the "shoulder pads and blow-dried '80s"-era Rod and this nauseating version of Tom Waits' "Downtown Train." All you need to know about post-Faces Rod can be encapsulated in the seizure he has at the 15-second point of this video. It's like he remembers that there is such a thing as rocking out, has a vague sense that people used to enjoy it when he rocked out, but can't muster up enough enthusiasm to do anything other than awkwardly twitch his head back.
18
"Knockin' on Heaven's Door" - Guns N Roses
To be honest, G'N'R could have taken three places all on their own. In addition to the 10-minute "Knockin' on Heaven's Door", Axl Rose also drilled out overlong, tepid versions of "Live and Let Die" and "Sympathy for the Devil," managing to hit an unlikely trifecta of brutalizing The Stones, McCartney and Bob Dylan in a single badly chosen career.
17
"Demolition Man" - Manfred Mann
030707/17ManfredMann_DemolitionMan.mp3
"I'm a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom / I kill conversation as I walk into the room." This sums up Manfred Mann's music quite nicely, actually. They struck gold with their cover of Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light," but one hit does not excuse the litany of brutal covers with which they've ear-raped us with before and since, from The Jam's "Going Underground" to Dylan's "It's All Over Now (Baby Blue)". But the absolute nadir is probably this, their slaughter of The Police's "Demolition Man," which somehow manages to beat out Sylvester Stallone for the title of worst Demolition Man ever.
Don't diss the Crüe, I loved their adaptation of Anarchy, was it as good as the original? No. Was it a way to bring back a classic song and modernize it for the next generation? Yes and they kicked ass at it as always.
I'm not sure if Cracked has done this yet, but there needs to be an article about the worst uses of song samples in history. P Diddy should take the first spot for shitting all over The Police and Led Zeppelin, followed by Jason Derulo for his butchering of Imogen Heap. Probably a lot of other examples out there as well.
I generally like Smash Mouth, so I'd feel the need to defend #10 but...yeah, it's a pale comparison to either the Monkees' version or Neil Diamond's (he did record a version himself before the Monkees did).
They have forgotten to put in The Jonas Brothers - Take on me. I wanted to kill myself after listening to it as well as all their other f*****g s**t they call songs.
Couldn't they have just appreciated the original instead of "trying something new with it." If it ain't broke, breaking it to a million pieces and trying to fix it won't fix it. Just stop now...for the love of God, or spaghetti monster or whatever you believe or don't believe in (Jeebus?) anything at all, please stop...
I try not to be juvenile on these boards, but...Rod! What were ya thinking? You aren't qualified to hold Tom Waits' microphone!! Much less sing his songs! He is in a league I doubt you'll ever reach, and you DAMN sure aren't there yet. There is a reason we don't have the Milli Vanilli cover of "Whats goin' on" on this list. Because they knew their damn place, and didn't attempt a monstrosity like that! You could learn from that...
Oh please!!! As a Def Leppard fan, Mariah Carey's cover of Bringin on the Heartbreak made my friggin ears bleed!!!!!!!!!! She was the last person on Earth who should have touched that song. (Okay, maybe Celine Dion or Michael Bolton, but still...)
In his defense, Bob Dylan could be excused just for the fact that most of the best covers in music history have been covers of his songs: Jimi Hendrix's All along the Watchtower, Adele's Make You Feel My Love, The Ramones' My Back Pages, and half of the hit songs that came out in the 60's. Also, the only versions of Dylan's cover I could find were duets between him and Morrison, so I do't know if that should really count.
On one hand, I'm kind of disappointed that there's no mention of Avril Lavigne's pathetic attempts to cover songs like Metallica's Fuel and System of a Down's Chop Suey. Yet on the other, I'm sort of relieved that people aren't being subjected to those monstrosities (and don't blame me if you go looking for them).
WTF, GNR covers were fine... got a sore spot from GNR? cause you're not really explaining -why- they did a bad job...
ReplyHilary Duff sings "I hope I DON"T die before I get old." Now I just feel bad for her because she clearly has severe brain damage.
ReplyDon't diss the Crüe, I loved their adaptation of Anarchy, was it as good as the original? No. Was it a way to bring back a classic song and modernize it for the next generation? Yes and they kicked ass at it as always.
ReplyI'm not sure if Cracked has done this yet, but there needs to be an article about the worst uses of song samples in history. P Diddy should take the first spot for shitting all over The Police and Led Zeppelin, followed by Jason Derulo for his butchering of Imogen Heap. Probably a lot of other examples out there as well.
ReplyHow about "I Aint Saying She's a Golddigger" sampling "I've Got a Woman" a song about a woman who is the opposite of a golddigger.
Nothing wrong with the GNR cover of Knockin on Heaven's Door
ReplyI generally like Smash Mouth, so I'd feel the need to defend #10 but...yeah, it's a pale comparison to either the Monkees' version or Neil Diamond's (he did record a version himself before the Monkees did).
ReplyTwo words: Sweet Jane.
ReplyNo Doubt's cover of It's My Life isn't that bad. Yeah, not the best, but still better than most of the crap on this list.
ReplyThey have forgotten to put in The Jonas Brothers - Take on me. I wanted to kill myself after listening to it as well as all their other f*****g s**t they call songs.
ReplyThis article was published 5 years ago.
Couldn't they have just appreciated the original instead of "trying something new with it." If it ain't broke, breaking it to a million pieces and trying to fix it won't fix it. Just stop now...for the love of God, or spaghetti monster or whatever you believe or don't believe in (Jeebus?) anything at all, please stop...
ReplyHey i love GnRs covers of Live and let die and Knocking on heavens doors
ReplyI try not to be juvenile on these boards, but...Rod! What were ya thinking? You aren't qualified to hold Tom Waits' microphone!! Much less sing his songs! He is in a league I doubt you'll ever reach, and you DAMN sure aren't there yet. There is a reason we don't have the Milli Vanilli cover of "Whats goin' on" on this list. Because they knew their damn place, and didn't attempt a monstrosity like that! You could learn from that...
ReplyI honestly thought Smash Mouth's version of I'm a Believer was decent. Now the NOFX version of Vincent? That made me physically nauseous.
ReplyOh please!!! As a Def Leppard fan, Mariah Carey's cover of Bringin on the Heartbreak made my friggin ears bleed!!!!!!!!!! She was the last person on Earth who should have touched that song. (Okay, maybe Celine Dion or Michael Bolton, but still...)
ReplyIn his defense, Bob Dylan could be excused just for the fact that most of the best covers in music history have been covers of his songs: Jimi Hendrix's All along the Watchtower, Adele's Make You Feel My Love, The Ramones' My Back Pages, and half of the hit songs that came out in the 60's. Also, the only versions of Dylan's cover I could find were duets between him and Morrison, so I do't know if that should really count.
ReplyAlso some of the worst covers like every single cover of "Blowin' In The Wind."
If it's too much like the original, you're a hack. If it's too different, it's an abomination. It's a balancing act...no wonder so many artists fall!
ReplyYeah, pretty much. Though it CAN be done.
On one hand, I'm kind of disappointed that there's no mention of Avril Lavigne's pathetic attempts to cover songs like Metallica's Fuel and System of a Down's Chop Suey. Yet on the other, I'm sort of relieved that people aren't being subjected to those monstrosities (and don't blame me if you go looking for them).
ReplyActually, that sounds hysterically funny.
I thought "Big Yellow Taxi" was a Bob Dylan song?...
ReplyShut the f**k up Manfred Mann's Demolition Man cover is amazing. Like it's legitimately a song you'll listen to again and again.
ReplyMaybe YOU would!
I knew about these songs but they still fill me with music snob rage!
ReplyIf there's an updated list, I'd like to recommend Trent Reznor and Karen O's cover of Zeppelin's 'Immigrant Song' for the number one spot.
It's not that bad, are you kidding me?