Register
Home > Movies & TV > The 7 Lamest Fight Scenes of All Time

The 7 Lamest Fight Scenes of All Time

By AL Farrell November 29, 2006 145,492 views
article image

Great directors draw from the fight scene palette of roundhouse kicks, explosions and snappy one-liners to paint frame-worthy movie and television battles. These are not those directors.



7. Saved by the Bell
Slater versus Zach



Combatants: A. C. Slater (Mario López) versus Zach Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar)
Why it sucks: This fight looks remarkably like a real scrap between high schoolers, which is exactly why it sucks. High school fights are terrible. There’s usually one thrown punch (which never lands) before the adolescent gladiators awkwardly lean into each other, tumble to the ground, and commence clumsy wrestling. Slater and Morris might nail that perfectly in this scene but there was no reason. We all watched enough of this stuff in our high school gym class.
Highlight: When Slater complains, “Hey you started it man, making me look like a jerk at the Max,” Zach replies “Well, that’s what you are.” Harsh.

6. The Godfather
Sonny versus Carlo



Combatants: Carlo Rizzi (Gianni Russo) versus Sonny Corleone (James Caan)
Why it sucks: Don’t get us wrong. The Godfather is a great movie, but this scene is just completely absurd. Coppola must have taken a break from directing and left the guy who directed The Three Stooges in charge of the set for this 90-second span. It starts when Sonny Corleone discovers his sister has been walloped and reacts, Curly-like, by bringing his fist to his mouth and taking a solid bite. You almost expect him to rub his hands over his head, run in place, and scream “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” Sonny then proceeds to get revenge with a Vaudeville assault that includes throwing his shoe and gnawing on Carlo’s knuckles.
Highlight: Proof that James Caan needed glasses during filming when his massive haymaker misses a stationary Carlo by a few feet.

5. Strike of the Panther
Bad Actor versus Other Bad Actors



Combatants: One shirtless Australian guy versus a bunch of other Australian guys in suits that hopefully never made another movie in their life
Why it sucks: On paper, the components here suggest an entertaining tussle: a man in a chicken suit, a blow-up sex doll, and ‘80s floozy with a whip. But this one is so bad that not even those unique ingredients can save it. The protagonist shows off both his lack of acting and fighting chops as he woodenly delivers snide one-liners in between repeatedly knocking out the same four toughs. This clip is notable for single-handedly dispelling the stereotype of Australians as tough, hardy people.
Highlight: The bizarre cameo of a grown man dressed as an English schoolboy begging for mercy.

Recommended for Your Pleasure

30 Comments

I don't believe it . . . I just saw a list that correctly diagnosed Chuck Norris' horribleness, and the visible comments don't contain any retarded "jokes" about how "awesome" he is. There IS a god!

3/15/2009 11:32:33 AM
auslander

No he doesn't.

2/13/2009 4:29:42 PM
Malky

The guy in the last fight who survives looks a lot like David Byrne

1/18/2009 8:15:08 PM
Robot_Jesus

I thought the Godfather was out of place on here. I always liked that scene. I guess I must of missed that ever so classic Stooges episode where Larry's sister almost gets beat to death and in a fit of rage Larry chases Moe down a crowded street and beats him within an inch of his life. Seriously though, it might have seemed ill thought out due to heavy doses of trash can fighting and dress shoe bludeoning going on. But in a sence I think that made it more realistic. It wasn't premeditated. It was sudden and violent and improvised....but the missed haymaker, I'll totally give you that one. Stevie Wonder saw that one miss

11/13/2008 5:34:15 PM
GBeach

THere is one fight scene though that should be on the list, its with Capt Kirk and a Lizard man, now that was the worst....verrry funny though

8/22/2008 7:47:17 PM
Trinitus

:D no kidding. i thought it was ok; i watched it once and never have since. it was good, but not in my top choices

6/25/2008 10:56:32 AM
stinkysGTI

Rafterman, no need to be a sheep

5/25/2008 7:40:08 PM
davo

watch full movies anime tv and cartoons at http://www.freevideoguy.wordpress.com it is free for you to stream and download......check it out

2/1/2008 12:02:41 AM
This is good movies and music is vies vies good

A major league miss was the fight between Roddy Piper and Keith David in They Live. Where two guys that got along for the rest of the movie get into a five minute fight because Keith won't put on a pair of glasses

1/30/2008 9:15:00 PM
Your Pal Pete

Now how can you honestly put down a decent fight scene JUST because Harrison Ford is pretending to be Amish? Aren't we kind of grasping at straws, here?

12/11/2007 6:37:34 PM
Chronus

When the arm-sling woman does a back flip, i'm pretty sure the stunt double is a cross dressing man.

11/27/2007 11:43:16 PM
will

yecmrzi tdawlygis wcxulbdf whumesjid acuyd tpbhj wodgbv [URL]http://www.pkewtqhua.piaybvuoh.com[/URL] gqsfalnp nyvuq

11/27/2007 12:54:22 PM
unknown

ncfjivae zckys pjwioshrz uxwsijbdc xnwr ypserohuc bqjt [URL=http://www.yealqk.fohcrta.com]pqhdcwm ksoziyxn[/URL]

11/27/2007 12:52:27 PM
unknown

lekmq dbjg rxmbgew kqxwsdrc rcpkfqsy edhsz xkgjaou vyxjoug prtsnlow

11/27/2007 12:52:04 PM
unknown

xvwpjikof wqtg uvmsbq pzmeuy biyhs qvinkmyor wsxmovzbh http://www.mwpuh.krfym.com

11/27/2007 12:51:41 PM
unknown

moepkfihq zdarsclx culkbr vhqfinap sjglrmey pzuseq mqcua

11/27/2007 12:51:15 PM
unknown

I think they forgot the fight between Mace Windu and Palpatine in Star Wars III. I keep hearing Samuels "Ohhhhhhhh" and Ians "Power!". That sucked.

11/24/2007 12:07:02 PM
Martin

I love you fellow americans! Yes! I admire your intelligence and level of civilization! Yes! You are the ones to save the planet! Your education is overhelming! Yes, oh yes!

Now, please kill all the witches and make sure everyone agrees, that the Earth IS flat.

11/24/2007 4:11:12 AM
Nanook

hEY M1k3yb....ever heard of a f****n typo. And they can keep hitting that bong (pass it this way please) and make as many typos as they like so long as they keep writing hilariously sarcastic lists. Geez, some ppl are so f****n picky. It's a f****n comedy website, not a classic novel. Who the f**k cares if there's typos (in case u hadn't noticed, this site is loaded with them. Again, who cares d******d)

11/23/2007 6:19:55 PM
BERGEN.CO.BITCH

What kind of freakin tard doesn't know it's Han Solo, not Hans Solo? Take a break from the bong and proof read once in a while...

11/15/2007 11:08:07 AM
M1k3yb

More on Movies & TV

Fark Logo
Recent Videos

Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.