The 5 Biggest Mismatches in Movie Fight History
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Action movies have a pretty simple formula when it comes to killing bad guys: you leave the toughest villain for last. It’s why at the end of Die Hard, that dead Russian guy jumps out of a body bag, somehow still armed with an automatic weapon. The filmmakers knew that, despite defying the laws that govern the physical universe, if they had ended the movie killing anyone else, it just wouldn’t have felt right. Leaving the toughest bad guy for last creates a sense of suspense as to whether or not the hero is going to be able to take him. So if the last bad guy is a total pussy, well, the audience is probably going to notice. Below, we count down the five most mismatched climactic fights in action movie history. 5. Cliffhanger  Fight: Gabe Walker (Sylvester Stallone) vs. Eric Qualen (John Lithgow) The bad news first: a gang of evil white-collar criminals are holding your sister hostage approximately 10,000 feet above sea level. To make matters worse, it tends to be cold on mountaintops, and for no discernible reason you’re only wearing a tank top. Now for the good news: you’re a trained mountain climber who, as luck would have it, grew up climbing the mountain on which they’re holding her, so you’ve got a Coors Park-sized home field advantage. Oh, also, you’re Sylvester Stallone and the guy you’re fighting is the dad from 3rd Rock From the Sun. That’s right, when faced with the job of finding a villain fearsome enough to menace Stallone’s maverick climbing instructor, the makers of Cliffhanger settled on John Lithgow, a man whose previous villains spent their time trying to convince kids to stay home from prom. In an attempt to even the odds, Cliffhanger emphasizes the fact that Stallone is haunted by the memory of watching a woman plunge to her death. He is not, however, haunted by cerebral palsy, the only thing that could make a fight between Lithgow and Stallone anything other than laughable. When they finally meet in the climactic scuffle, Lithgow manages to get Stallone in a head lock, and improbably appears to have him on the ropes before the helicopter they’re dangling from (don’t ask) falls off the side of a cliff, taking Lithgow with it. |
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I agree 100% with number one. I remember being confused as to why Jesse Ventura wasn't cast as Bennett. Seemed like a no-brainer.
I'm disappointed by # 1. I thought that Bennett was a fairly good villain. The name was pathetic I admit that but the climax itself was pretty good. Bennett was obsessed with proving his superiority over Matrix (which is why he didn't shoot him right off the bat) and the fight lasts a while. Also they could've used a lot of other one liners like, "You've got a piping problem." or "It's getting steamy in here." or even "I impaled you with a thrown lead pipe and now steam is coming out of it for some strange reason." That line was pure coolness. I thought the most ridiculously mismatched would be the climax of James Bond: Quantum of Solace. Here we have big, bad OO7 taking on a chubby naturist. And what kind of villainous name is Dominic? That's even more pathetic than Bennett.
Commando beat Bennett with one arm, Hell it would have been better if he beat him using nothing but headbutts.
@ logicjohnson:
Raising Cain was pretty awesome, too. Lithgow makes a better villain than he does a good guy, actually.
**********
...and what is wrong with 3rd Rock, exactly?
John Lithgow is a great villian. Did you see Ricochet? Lithgow plays Blake, who kidnaps Styles, Denzel Washington's character, shoots him up with speedballs for days, videotapes him being raped by a hooker (who has gonorrhea or something) and delivers the tape it to his wife (and boss), kills his co-worker and makes it like a suicide (with a note implicating Syles in pedophilia), all while supposedly being dead. Leaving everyone thinking Denzel was a homicidal, philandering, crazy junkie. John Lithgow is the s**t as a villian. He is the one of the ULTIMATE villians. Look it up. You will s**t.
To the writer,
dude be fair. 3rd Rock wasn't until years later when Lithgow's movie days were over. And he was a decent bad guy (he was in Ricochot). I'm just saying, at the time, his resume read "Raising Cane". Not a terrible pick for the times.
Incidentally, I don't nitpick about typos in articles. I NEVER have. You fellows have better things to do than to make sure that the spell check didn't change something into the wrong word, or change "Han Solo" to "Hans Solo" when you're hurrying up to post an article. It's all good! But honestly . . .
"Then, in the final scene, the retirment-aged research doctor is all of the sudden breaking chairs over Kimble’s head . . ."
All of the sudden? GAAAAAHHHHHH!
Not that I'm disagreeing, Furantastic, but 'it has sequels!' does not equal 'it's a good movie!'. For instance, we'll count the sequels to Citizen Kane, then we'll count the sequels to Austin Powers.
Besides, James Cameron won't give the thumbs-up to the next one (which alters the backstory - which is in the future, but you know what I mean) so this one might not suck. Terminator=Awesome like the Matrix. Great first movie, and then . . . what the f**k?! The robot learns to love 'cause humans are so awesome and the kid cares about him?
If Cameron were in charge of another Terminator movie, it'd probably have Ewoks or Jar-Jar Connor - thank god they got him out, I say.
How about Mel Gibson vs Tina Turner. I mean, she's a tough lady, but... she a tough old lady.
Commando better than Terminator? I guess I missed the high-grossing sequels of Commando that came years after the original, including one due out this year.
>Zeitgeust -
While "Memento" is a good film, it is not (repeat NOT) an action film. It is thus irrelevant to this piece.
The mismatch in Commando has to be the best! Pasty fat guy haha
this article was awesome i couldnt stop laughing at some points
You dump him. You deserve anyone beter enough, here is one place for you,****** W e a l t h y s o u l M a t e .C O M ********** , where you can find celebrities and millionaires. Good luck.
alicehuangthere are some you left off the list.
Arnold vs Richard Dawson ie the running man,,, great movie lol.
Lamda Lamda Lamda vs The Alpha Bata's. Cmon Jocks win a war!!!!!
Jason Gedrich vs Iran. Iron Eagles one pilot vs an enitre country.
Blaine: there is one very important catch-phrase from Terminator that you are missing:
"yah clothes...give dem to me"
Now wait a sec, John Lithgow fought and killed Jessie Ventura in a duel to the death, that took place in prison, two years before Cliffhanger in the movie Ricochet. That's gotta give him at least some creds as a movie villain.
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hot. that's hot. boobies
That gave me a great idea - Christopher Lowell as the villain fighting Robocop.
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how about Superman vs. Lex Luthor. one can fly around the world and make time go backwards. That has to be the most one sided battle of all time.