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5 Kick-Ass Action Movies That Are Pure Propaganda

By Steve Clark September 25, 2007 1,926,080 views
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The Plot
Patrick Swayze IS Jed Eckert, some dumbass in a pickup truck. When Jed's small Midwestern town is invaded by the combined forces of the Cuban and Russian armies, it's up to Jed to lead a small group of teenagers up into the mountains to hide like little bitches. When the commies decide to kill the families of all those little bitches, though, they awake a sleeping midget. We mean that figuratively, by the way. What we mean literally is that Jed and his band of teenagers turn to guerrilla warfare as their only recourse against the mighty communist alliance that holds their town in an unnecessarily iron fist. Who wouldn't?

The Message
Now, Can You Maybe Understand the Plight of the Brave Afghani Freedom Fighters?

They gave us one hell of a political allegory, a "What if it happened to you?" case that drops the 80's Soviet's invasion of Afghanistan right smack in the center of the American Midwest. Where Afghanistan had the Mujahideen insurgents to fight off the reds, America has a high-school football team called the Wolverines. If you can't identify with these kids at least a little bit, then you probably kick bald eagles and use Old Glory to wipe the borscht from your chin.

Man, insurgents are so fucking cool.

Significant Quote
"In time, this war, like every other war, ended. But I never forgot. And, I come to this place often, when no one else does. 'In the early days of World War III, guerrillas, mostly children, placed the names of their lost upon this rock. They fought here alone and gave up their lives so that this nation shall not perish from the earth.'"-Erica (A young Lea Thompson)

Bonus Message
Your handgun is not going to save your ass. At least in the sense that your "They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers" bumper sticker ...

... is just going to make you look stupid when the Russians parachute out of the sky with AK-47s, mow you down and actually do pry your gun from your cold, dead fingers.

Yeah, but Do They Still Blow Some Shit Up?
Yeah, they do that. Within the first few minutes, they fire a rocket launcher into a fucking high school. The rest of the movie is pretty much an escalating chain of rockets, bombs and grenades. Lots of gunfire, too, and a hell of a lot more blood than you'd expect from a movie with a PG rating.

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108 Comments

"since when is turkey pissed off at us". Well actually most of the world is pissed off at America, well at least the Red Neck south and your previous warmongering president. At least you didn't re- elect him so he could start a nuclear war with Iran. Attacking Iraq to finish he's daddy's buisness and to draw attention away from not being able to find osama bin laden. I do feel for the people on september 11 sad day for everyone. But maybe if America would firsty stop supplying arms to every other nation, and then going to war against them you might have a few less enemies. Stop meddling in other peoples business, YOU DO NOT RULE THE WORLD. Nobody gives a s**t about what america thinks, you've lost all credibility once you set up a prison outside of your own countries borders to allow for torture.

In summary to say that since when does Turkey hate America, since when do they not.

6/26/2009 1:39:31 AM
def0003

hey cracked, youre being an awful lot single minded lately.. wtf?
and i find it f****n peculiar that of your list of movies that are propaganda, none are the mainstream movies we pay to see everyday (example: the dark knight). why is it propaganda only if someone who isnt controlling the population does it?
our entertainment always points us to the direction of us realizing subconciously what needs to be done with the country. a month later a politician or a company announces they're doing just that. now apply cause-and-effect.

5/10/2009 9:48:49 AM
pretor92

Why is Rambo 3 missing from this list? It clearly shows Rambo helping the rebels who would go on to become the scourage of the west in real life, yes I am talking about the taliban.

3/31/2009 4:27:20 PM
Avalanche

The books by Stephen Hunter that center on Bob Lee Swagger are straight-up badass. They kill-fucked Point of Impact in its adaptation to Shooter. Check out Hunter's work and you won't be disappointed. Also, read anything you can about Carlos Hathcock, who is the most insane f*****g Marine sniper of all time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Hathcock

3/29/2009 6:28:20 AM
mgbeach

"fun" fact, not cun. f**k...

3/10/2009 12:49:45 PM
crackeduser

and cool article

3/10/2009 12:48:54 PM
crackeduser

Red Dawn was PG-13 like someone said. It also, (I know it makes me a dork to know this, but it's a nice random cun fact) I do beleive was NOT the first movie to be given a PG-13 rating. I Remebr hearing that The Flamingo Kid was actually the first movie to get a PG-13, but that it sat on shelves for a few mounths before release, allowing Red Dawn to beat it, by I think about a mounth...

3/10/2009 12:48:23 PM
crackeduser

You seem to have forgotten the biggest propaganda action film of all time! Planet of the Apes.
At the height of the Cold War a film is made about the civilised Earth being overrun by our more aggressive and backwards neighbours.
Synopsis: White pearly toothed blonde haired americans are locked up in cages and chains becuase they underestimated their savage cousins.

3/3/2009 2:30:50 AM
leonr

Propaganda is actually just media meant to influence people's opinions, it is not inherently lies or evil, i.e. convincing people to buy war bonds in WWII. Maybe if people like "PopeKarlMarx" knew this they wouldn't be so outraged at everything. Also this article made me chuckle, especially the Steven Segal Eskimo movie, I remember catching the end of that on television and being really confused, it all makes sense now...

3/2/2009 5:15:51 PM
NewKillerStar

A model is looking for a good man. Please reach me as cadicecc at======== C l a s s y M i n g l e . COM ==== . Please
don't disturb me if you are not serious.

2/25/2009 8:09:29 PM
candicc

I'm rather surpised to find this biased article here, and without offending the obvious Right Wing American-o-phile who wrote this, perhaps you should re-think what propaganda is. A tool to spread obvious lies. Now, Im not saying these movies are based on truths (they are made by Hollywood) but I dont think a message about Oil companies being bad is propaganda as much as it is didatic. Iron Man, there's propaganda= An American and an Isrealie team up to kill a bunch of bad brown people (read Muslim) see, that's more like propaganda, getting the public to accept unjust moves by the government;)

2/19/2009 3:29:10 PM
PopeKarlMArx

o yeah?

2/13/2009 7:01:30 AM
latinguy703

is it me or is there a decidedly right-wing bias creeping into this place?

on and V for Vendetta...anti Christian Bias? Oh please, look beyond your own bloated belly occasionally eh? The point is the church and state should never be one! It's a theme which has permiated sci-fi for many a year...religious extremism of any form is wrong..

stupid people hate alleged 'lefties' coz dey finks fer 'emselves

for the most part it seems the author mentions movies which make people he doesn't like look good?

2/4/2009 8:33:57 AM
lupernikes

Right around the time when Steven Seagal made"On Deadly Ground"was when his career Jumped The Shark BFT!!
Oh sure,he made"Under Seige 2:Dark Territory"the next year,but after that,his career started to blow worse a Kileen Hooker when the troop at Fort Hood get a Weekend Pass!!
Now"Shooter"was pretty good!!
Read Stephen Hunter's Novels sometime!!
His Books Kick Ass!!

1/26/2009 5:12:31 PM
TheEnemyBelow

Red Dawn was PG-13. I think it was the first movie to carry that rating. It was released in September. I remember all this not because I am a geek (I am a geek, mind you, but that is not whyI remember this), but rather I remember it because I turned 13 in October and my Dad wouldn't let me see it in September while I was still only 12.

1/5/2009 2:15:43 PM
bassfever

Can't see when this was published, but let's not forget about the resent "Body of Lies", which is the grand sht of propaganda.

1/1/2009 1:04:31 PM
fisk

Hey Gbeach, I'd like to see you try better. Oh wait, you probably cant which is why you resorted to childish insults instead of actually trying to write something better.

12/28/2008 4:28:49 PM
Truthiness

is it just me or do half the you tube videos on cracked end up removed for terms of use violations?

12/27/2008 9:40:00 PM
davedawg

Cracked. Serious business.

12/23/2008 8:45:09 PM
Truthiness

This article was f*****g rad.

12/21/2008 2:42:19 PM
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