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All of those are good guesses, but here at Cracked, we suspect that the final book will probably be about the dozens of dangling plot threads left over from the previous six books. That, and sex. Lot's of clumsy, clutching, adolescent wizard sex. If these bold predictions arouse and astound you, and you're interested in finding out exactly which ball-shatteringly important questions need answering, continue reading... Is Dumbledore really dead?
Yes, quite frankly, that could happen-and it wouldn't even be the stupidest thing to happen in the Harry Potter universe. That would be Quidditch.
What does "complex" mean? Does it mean he'll live on in the hearts and minds of those who loved him? That he'll reappear in a vaguely shimmery way and advise Harry to seek further training on the planet Dagobah? That he's enlisted the aid of top Muggle scientists to transfer his consciousness into a talking car? Or will it be something stupid? Our "100% Lock, Money-in-the-Bank" Prediction: Dumbledore's dead, but still around via the talking portrait. Harry will consult it for advice throughout the concluding novel, and at a critical juncture, remove it from the wall of the headmaster's office, using it to club Draco in the back of the head before dryly stating "The head-master's office hours are over, bitch." |
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1. Correct, but he does come back all shimmery and ghostly.
2. Correct, it was a set up from the start.
3. Incorrect, Harry was a horcrux, apparently wizards kill ridiculously rarely.
4. Correct, f*****g... I mean... Duuuuuh.
5. Correct, at least as far as the concept goes. It pretty much stuck with the kissin'
6. Eerily accurate. I'd swear to god Cracked new something we didn't.
sorry people he is dead
"Voldemort's also toast, and will likely meet his fate when Harry shoots him with his last bullet, fired from a wand taped to his back."
Don't you mean Snape?
The picture of Harry at the end of the sex section made me LOL.
But in the end, only 8 characters die and only 7 of them should never have died. Thank you, Rowling, for sparing us the death of the main 3 characters by killing off most of the other characters that were much more interesting.
4 out of 6 aint bad.
It's funny how many of these predictions are right on target. I thought only 1 would be in-the-ballpark, but at least 2 were 100% right, and if you count the epilouge, then that's 2 1/2. (The fact that the main 3 have kids pretty much screams that they had sex.)
"but not in a gay way"
Mrlarry you tickle my funny bone.
It's real interesting reading this after knowing what does happen in the book.
Also, wizarding world sex ed: "Be sure to use a protection spell, you don't want your wand to get hogwarts"
lol i stopped reading the books at like book 5...i was reading this and was like holy f*ck all that happen? wow
Finally, Emma Watson turns 18 and to celebrate she shoots the Paparazzi a panty (crotch) shot AFTER she announces she wishes to do a nude. Now why couldn't they put THAT in the last movie ?
lol at
' is he evil or just greasy?'
excellent!!
I love Harry Potter. **ninja**
LMAO! "And your sister is now a woman. Come, let us drink."
One N.
I want harry potter to just die already! End his legacy!!! No one likes whinny heroes... :P boo to him
I gotta say, I thought that the Twins (and, in fact, the supporting characters in general) were far more interesting than Harry's whiny and wins-by-sheer-dumbass-luck-ness, or any of the "main" characters for that matter. Also, the way Snape was finally portrayed sucked. Big time. Frankly, I thought the books peaked at the HBP . . . but then again, Mrs. Weasley freaking out was pretty damn awesome.
She punked out by not killing one of the three mains. Who really cares if George and Fred eat it?
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TWO characters? More like 40. Jeez, EVERYONE died.