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A Gentleman's Guide To Etiquette


A Gentleman understands that embezzlement, insider trading, tax fraud and similar activities are not actually “crimes.” “Crimes” are committed by poor people and involve guns.
 
If arrested, a Gentleman does not make a scene. He smugly points out that his army of lawyers will make sure he never spends a minute in prison.
 
Once jailed, a Gentleman never insults a fellow inmate by refusing his sexual advances. If propositioned, a Gentleman gives an elegant bow and holds his posture until his superior is finished.

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