The Singing Android That Will Ruin Robots for You
If there's one thing we've learned from watching YouTube videos, it's that people on the Internet are super-duper racist. If there's anything else we've learned, it's that mankind is not ready for the responsibility of owning robots. We know, that's a bummer, but we've seen enough videos of people using robots to do horrifying things to know it's true. And now, we have a new example of robotic horror to add to that pile.
That nightmare of nerd-basement engineering is from a video simply titled "Fantastic Hey Hey Hey." It's not unlike those videos we linked to in the opening paragraph in that it's a robot singing in a terrifying robot voice. But in the annals of scary singing robot videos, this one takes the prize as the most chill-inducing of them all, mostly because we have so many questions when we watch it.
Here are five questions somebody needs to answer about this horrifying singing android video ...
Where Is This Happening?
Here's the thing, there have already been a few videos similar to this that have made the rounds on the Internet, but normally, they look like this ...
More horrifying. They look more horrifying.
What we mean is, this kind of horror normally happens in a room that at least pretends to be scientific-looking. But there are no such pretenses here. It's just full-throttle creepy from the second the video starts.
Of All the Clothes in All the World, Why Those?
There are a lot of clothes in the world, so what was the purpose of selecting the outfit you see this dream ruiner wearing? We have seen in other unfortunately similar videos that there are indeed more clothes available ...
... so how did we end up with the creased khakis and Cosby sweater ensemble that the "person" behind this video settled on? Our guess: Clothes become available as victims are disposed of.
Are We Being Recruited?
OK, that's never a thing you want to see. Grainy video? Check. A black robe? Check. The very real possibility that this just turned into some kind of death cult recruitment video? We're afraid that's going to be a check also.
The Fuck's Going on Here?
Fact: A shot like this has not been used or even needed since Lionel Richie's "Dancing on the Ceiling" was dominating the entertainment landscape in the '80s. We were kind of creeped out by it back then, too.
Is This Where the Bodies Are Buried?
For reasons the world will probably never know, in the middle of all the insanity that is this video, we get the shot you see above. It's just a shot of a backyard. As several YouTube commenters have pointed out, this plays a lot like someone confessing where the bodies are buried. So that raises an obvious question -- is this where the bodies are buried? The video was uploaded in 2010. As far as we know, no one has checked into it yet, but somebody needs to. Because as you can see ...
... these videos are only getting more unsettling. Who knows what this maniac is capable of next?