The 6 Most Baffling Trends in 2012 Election Propaganda
Malevolent governments used to make propaganda. Now, citizens do it all on their own with the help of Photoshop and terrible jokes. Whoever makes a meme of politicians probably thinks their 'shopped picture is going to hammer the final nail into the coffin of someone's political career. It never does.
Most politicians are dead-eyed piles of flesh in suits who would be more inspiring on bus bench real estate ads than on money. Batman villains are rogue badasses with impeccable style, supreme confidence and superhuman intelligence. So when someone Photoshops Mitt Romney or Barack Obama to look like Bane ...
"Let's see what breaks first, America. Your respect for the electoral process or your ability to tolerate your Facebook feed."
... they're proving what all of our Facebook feeds proved this Halloween: Everyone looks badass wearing Bane's mask.
The same goes for painting up a politician to look like the Joker:
Obama goes from looking like a supermarket regional manager to looking like that dude who made a pencil disappear in a gangster's head.
Binders Full of Women
During the second presidential debate, Mitt Romney talked about searching through "binders full of women" to find candidates to fill cabinet posts. The line's comedic potential was so unfathomably limitless that it drove meme creators insane.
Their minds were ravaged so terribly, all they could do was awkwardly jam the word "binders" into tired movie quotes until they lost all motor function.
This is the joke equivalent of the pig bits they scrape off the slaughterhouse floor and turn into hot dogs that feed prisoners.
When you're mocking a politician by way of a movie poster spoof, you have to take into account how much we like the people they're replacing with Romney or Obama.
No one sees Steve Carell on the 40-Year-Old Virgin poster and hisses at it like a cat would a demon. Swap Steve Carell for Obama, and regardless of your intent, we're still going to see good ol' charming Steve Carell.
Same goes for Richard Pryor ...
You know Obama looks good in that suit.
And Jim Carrey ...
And Arnold Schwarzenegger ...
Does this make Obama the T-1000? If so, we're not surprised they got Osama.
Replacing a cool movie star Republican with a boring Mormon Republican instantly makes the boring Mormon cooler through Photoshop osmosis.
Romney/Ryan: Gay Lovers
Mitt Romney and his running mate, Paul Ryan, aren't the biggest fans of homosexuality. So people have gone passive-aggressive and Photoshopped what the pair would look like only seconds before or after they go gay on each other.
Think about the bizarre logic on display here: By making the anti-gay crowd uncomfortable with these pictures, the creators are suggesting that people should be made to feel uncomfortable by something they shouldn't feel uncomfortable with. If someone thinks this is bad ...
Then this ...
... is not going to convince them otherwise. If anything, it makes them think that the ocean makes you gay, and getting gay juice in the ocean is how hurricanes are made.
Romney Is Rich
Did you know that Mitt Romney has a lot of money, just like damn near every politician ever? If you never heard that, you probably inferred it after seeing pictures like these ...
If all you're doing is pointing out that the guy has a bunch of money, well good for him. Money is kind of a cool thing to have.
Remember this picture?
It was popular on the Internet for a bit because if you misspell "Romney" and ignore the stylized "R," it looks like it spells "money," which turns this picture into a weird Freudian slip involving exploited children.
The picture turned out to be fake. But so what? The economy sucks. At a time like this, both Romney and Obama had better be so obsessed with cash that their sexual fantasies should end with literal money shots.
Michelle Obama Is a Wookiee
We don't know if this is racist or sexist or speciest or if it means anything at all. All we know is, there's a lot of people who like making pictures of Michelle Obama with a Wookiee's body.
It's even more popular than the notorious Limbaugh Sarlaac.
Never before have so many strange fetishes been embodied in one image.
If it was supposed to be racist, well, Wookiees are the galaxy far, far away's version of a fierce and dependable friend. With space crossbows. And arm-ripping strength. We reckon being compared to a Wookiee is pretty awesome.
Check and mate, racists.