4 Insane Brushes With Death People Had While Sitting at Home
While others risk their lives every day by doing reckless things like "riding cars" or "stepping outside," maybe you're one of those people who are content to stay in and watch the world from the safety of your window (and by window, we mean that Google Street View tab loaded on your own street). Sure, your social skills may be somewhat atrophied from not talking to anyone who isn't a cat or a bag of Doritos in months, but at least you're decreasing your chances of dying a horrible, unexpected death, right?
Not really. As we'll see, people sitting quietly in their own homes have recently been attacked by everything from spontaneous holes in the ground to massive rocks falling from the sky. Enjoy the article!
Huge Boulder Narrowly Misses Leveling House in Italy ... Three Times
There's nothing we could say to adequately introduce this photo, so here it goes:
"Fine, you can have your damn Frisbee back."
That's the home of a family in northern Italy after narrowly avoiding being smashed to a plywood pancake by a giant boulder as a result of a landslide. They were just eating pizza in there or whatever when they heard what sounded like "a train had thundered through the living room" and saw that. But wait, what's this in front of the giant rock?
"We're just glad the giant boulder didn't destroy our prized giant boulder."
Oh, yeah, another huge fucking rock, this one from an earlier, unrelated landslide. And if you're wondering why the family hasn't moved the hell out of there, a look behind the house should clear that up:
That's a third boulder that came at the same time as the second one and stopped a few feet from the house. Clearly, this family is running some sort of giant force field and doesn't give a shit about boulders.
Stray Bullet Shoots Through House and Gently Taps Man's Forehead
Josh Demeritt of Rochester, New Hampshire, was playing video games one night when he heard a loud noise erupt in his room and felt something lightly hit his forehead. After presumably wishing his 14-year-old opponents a good night and logging off the game, Demeritt looked around and saw 1) a hole in his wall and 2) a freaking bullet on the floor.
His Xbox Live account was immediately flagged for hacking.
The bullet had gone through two walls and a window before reaching Demeritt's forehead -- had there been one fewer obstacle in its path, Demeritt probably would have needed a new hoodie (also, a head). Police were able to trace the trajectory of the bullet to the house across the street and the shooter, who fired his gun accidentally while cleaning it and then tried to hide it in a pile of snow outside a laundromat.
Remember, kids: You never know when a genius like that is living across the street from you, so delete your browser history before sitting down for some Call of Duty.
30-Foot Sinkhole Swallows Car Whole in Driveway
A teenager in High Wycombe, England, was getting ready to go out one morning when she noticed something weird: Her car wasn't in the driveway. In fact, neither was the driveway, since it had been replaced by a 30-foot sinkhole that had gobbled the entire car while no one was looking in what has to be the largest midnight snack known to man.
"Wait, this is one of those 3D street paintings, right? Yeah, it's just a perspective tri-AAAAIIIIEEEE!"
The semblance of car parts can just barely be made out underneath massive amounts of dirt:
"Sorry, but your policy doesn't cover 'act of molemen'."
The family says there were no signs of the sinkhole before it quietly appeared overnight, so it could have easily happened while someone was in the car or just dicking around in the driveway. The daughter, on the other hand, is probably excited about finally getting a new car and hoping they go with something a little lighter than a tractor this time.
The House That Cars Keep Crashing Into
The McCall family of Indiana has lived a quiet life in an unassuming duplex for the past 30 years -- except for the part where cars keep crashing into their dining room and ruining their evenings. The most recent example happened on December 26, when an SUV barreled into their home and barely missed Leigh McCall by about a foot, making this the 11th car to hit their house.
"Honey, did you make Kool-Aid again?"
Apparently, the presence of a railroad track near the house may motivate drivers to drive faster to beat the trains, at which point they're too busy celebrating with fist pumps to notice the oncoming house. For their part, the McCalls say they're not moving from there, although they're considering relocating their dining room to a nearby cliff.
"Can you hurry up? We're expecting our pizza guy to crash through any time now."
Hillery has a Twitter account, which you can follow here.
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