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25 Events You Learned In History Class (Didn't Happen)

By:: AM Smiley

April 16, 2016

25 Events You Learned In History Class (Didn't Happen)

We think we're hot shit with our educations built off of video games, Wikipedia, and Game Of Thrones. Spoiler alert: Everything that stuff taught us about history is totally wrong. Shocking, we know.

So pull up a chair, and let AuntieMeme drop some real historical knowledge on that ass.

25 Entry by AM Smiley

'60s HISTORY feminists THE once protested by burning their bras. Men burned their draft cards, So women burned their bras. Because freedom, man. Exc

24 Entry by AM Smiley

Martin Luther HISTORY' THE nailed his thesis to a church door. Disgusted by the corruption in the Catholic church, Luther nailed his 95 Theses where

23 Entry by AM Smiley

6th century chastity HISTORY THE belts were a nightmare. When a man left his wife or daughter alone for an extended period, he'd gird her in padloc

22 Entry by AM Smiley

Remember when SHISTORY THE stockbrokers jumped out windows? It was the Great Depression, and the stock market crash supposedly caused mass stockbroke

21 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' The US freaked out THE when the Soviets beat us to space. Actually, the government was relieved. Thanks to our German scientists, the US ha

20 Entry by AM Smiley

ancient Romans HISTORY ne THE were known for their orgies. Weird, considering they never had any. All those freaky Sex stories were actually propagan

19 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' During the Cold War, THE the president had a phone for calling Russia. Nope. The Red Phone never existed. Not that it wouldn't have been u

18 Entry by AM Smiley

In the Middle HISTORY' THE Ages, rats spread the Black Death. It was thought to be a bubonic plague, and it wiped out 100 million people during the 1

17 Entry by AM Smiley

SHISTORY Those who mind don't THE matter, and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss 0 03UT CAT Bernard Baruch actually said that. And he wasn't tal

16 Entry by AM Smiley

Remember Paul HISTORY THE Revere's midnight ride? He galloped through the colonies shouting, The British are coming! The British are coming! He wa

15 Entry by AM Smiley

Everyone in HISTORY THE medieval times smelled awful. Actually, they were way into bathing. Contrary to popular belief, medieval people actually lik

14 Entry by AM Smiley

Worlds HISTORY The Warofthe THE broadcast caused widespread panic. Its news broadcast format terrified listeners, who didn't realize they were liste

13 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Did Napoleon's THE army blast off the Sphinx's nose? Nope. The nose was already gone. Reports dating back to the 1500s - a full 200 years be

12 Entry by AM Smiley

ero fiddled while HISTORY THE Rome burned. As the story goes, Nero wanted more room to build his palace. So he set fire to a neighborhood and played

11 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Let them THE eat cake! -Marie Antoinette, upon learning that the peasants had no bread to eat. Marie Antoinette never said that. The sourc

10 Entry by AM Smiley

Lady Godiva HISTORY rode THE through town nude. She took her naked horseback ride through the town of Coventry as a protest of her husband's exorbit

9 Entry by AM Smiley

Ancient Greece HISTORY' THE was a place of enlightenment. All the famous philosophers would hang out together wearing sheets and having spirited, rea

8 Entry by AM Smiley

Turn on! HISTORY THE Tune in! Drop out! -Timothy Leary Leary didn't make up that rallying cry. When Timothy Leary belted out that phrase at a counte

7 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Pre -Renaissance THE audiences loved a good jousting match. Actually, they preferred horseshoes. Jousting wasn't even really possible durin

6 Entry by AM Smiley

Have you heard HISTORY THE that Hoover Dam is full of corpses? Rumor has it, several workers fell into the concrete during construction and died - a

5 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Civil War armies THE marched under the Confederate flag. But not the red one with the X on it. The first Confederate flag, the Stars and Ba

4 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY Columbus is the THE discoverer of America. d I COLVMONANTIPODYMRR TEOVI CENEE RALEV Actually, he landed closer to Haiti. Christopher Columbu

3 Entry by AM Smiley

Early Christians HISTORY' THE were fed to lions in the Colosseum. It's one of the earliest, most terrifying examples of Christian persecution and ma

2 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Our deepest fear is not that THE we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. -Nelson Mandela THE PHENOMENA

1 Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY The Dark Ages THE were a sickly, miserable time. Actually, it was a good time to be alive. The standard of living was pretty decent, even if

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