Other names considered for that joke: Rod Woodson, Lance Moore, and Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.
"His leg came out from under me as I was going down," says Gavin, "but when he fell, he stopped and only I kept going forward. His foot was like a hook and it caught my dick. I felt it stretch in a short pop of pain. Then his shoe 'let go' and slammed my taint as I went forward and hit the ground. He missed my balls, which at the time I thought was a miracle."
It was not a miracle. That foot had done to Gavin's genitals what Voyager did to the Star Trek franchise. "Later that night I started to notice I had a boner starting up. Sometimes you get random boners for whatever reason, and I thought it was that kind, or my dick's natural reaction to getting badly hit. Even after seven hours I didn't think much of it because it wasn't that hard, but when I woke up I still had it. I went to WebMD and saw that, unless it was in pain, it wasn't anything big."
klenger/iStock
Or maybe you should say nothing to be concerned over.
WebMD told Gavin that he had a low-flow priapism, an extremely painful type of long-term erection. It's the type caused by drugs like Viagra and various wang-destroying cancers. It basically means that blood is trapped in your penis and isn't being circulated out. But Gavin didn't have a low-flow priapism: he had a high-flow priapism. He was perma-hard, but oxygen and blood could still circulate. This type of priapism is rare, the White Whale of erections. In neither case should they be ignored, regardless of what you think WebMD is saying.
179 Comments