They're here for Magic: The Gathering, I'm here for Money: The Taking.
My first customer approaches.
"Psst," I say. "You looking for some cards on the cheap?"
He looks through my binder full of plastic-protected merchandise.
"A single beta Taiga?" he says. "Which counts as forest and mountains?"
"Damn straight. One tap, and you add red mana or green mana to your pool. Your choice. And this is affected by spells that hit forest or mountain, don't forget that."
I look to see if anyone else is watching, then go closer to him and whisper: "$400."
"Wait, hold on. Check the mint eval on this. Centering? Nine. Edges? Nine. Corners? Nine. Surface? Fuckin' nine-point-five, you're not going to get that anywhere, and if you don't buy it, trust me, you're going to see this card played against you by the competition instead. C'mon. What do you say?"
"Look at that card full of arbitrary numbers; can't fake something like that."
He agrees to the sale. The next customer agrees as well, this one to a nine-point-five-condition Antiquities Mishra's Workshop, which adds a whopping three colorless mana to your pool. This ain't Wizards Of The Coast ditch weed I'm selling: This is pure collectible-card-game cocaine. But with the next sale comes trouble.