I Get Paid To Write Fake Reviews For Amazon

But first you're going to need a solid track record of legitimate-looking reviews (usually upwards of 50) attached to whatever social media account you're using, which must also carry a good number of followers. The reviews can't just all be five stars, or else Yelp or Google can tell you're a shill. In short, you need to build up some trust before you betray it for cash. On my two Yelp accounts and my Google account, I'd make sure there were a few hundred varied reviews visible on my profile at any given moment.

But you have to be careful: Yelp protects the identities of its reviewers to the steps of the state Supreme Court if need be, but Amazon will sue the pants off of users posting fake reviews. You basically have to do a few months' worth of unpaid work before you can even start looking for work, which is pretty much the case for all college graduates nowadays.

Related: 5 Despicable Things People Do for Good Online Reviews

Most sites are seriously clamping down on bogus reviews. Say Sally goes to comment about how great the pizza shop she works at is, but uses her actual Facebook profile to do so -- the one where she lists her place of employment. Google or Yelp will snatch that up immediately. Timeliness is also a factor. If a place is looking iffy, then a bunch of people leave five-star reviews within a day or so of each other, it's pretty obvious what just happened -- that business really got its act together!

But no, it's probably employees being forced to review their own establishment.

Businesses have even tried strong-arming folks into leaving a good review while they're still in the store, a practice Google and TripAdvisor have had to address. One Austin-area storage facility found itself in hot water after a well-known podcaster blew the whistle on their bogus reviews. I worked with two businesses myself who badgered customers for positive reviews in-store, only to find the reviews changed when those customers got home. The manager of a hardware store that hired me begged customers for good online reviews, and they'd smile and nod, then go home to complain about the guy pestering them while they innocently shopped for bolt-cutters and good, strong rope.

A few years ago Google and Yelp just deleted fake reviews or, at worst, banned you. Now, it's getting more serious: Yelp has sued over fake (negative) reviews, and Amazon has actually entered into court battles with over 1,000 different negative reviewers. Even Google, the Thunderdome of review authenticity, finally started cracking down. They use a program called Fakespot (hey, you can use it too!) that can identify fake reviewers with pretty good accuracy and then presumably fire lasers into their eyes.

In some states, like New York, fake reviews are against the law. One delightful idiot lost about $8,000 reviewing a restaurant that hadn't even opened yet. Luckily, there's still TripAdvisor, where it's insanely easy to post fake anything with zero consequences. But be careful: You might find out (to the tune of a five-figure lawsuit) why it's a bad idea to complain about your hotel online.

Related: 6 Silly Sounding Jobs That Are Way Harder Than You Think

The problem is that you're not always paid in cash.

A university textbook store offered me 50 percent off any book instead of cash. A garage offered me 50 percent off an oil change if I would raise their star rating. The craziest one was from a Chinese restaurant that said I could come in after they closed and take as many leftovers as I could carry. I guess they thought I was poor and desperate. Or maybe just high? Regardless, I didn't take it.

I did take one restaurant up on their offer for a free salad in exchange for a good review. They only had two customers in that day, including me. Before I left, I overheard that he was only there for the "five-star salad" too.

Related: Write For Cracked And Get Paid: Here's How

Some fake reviewers are easy to spot: If they don't have a profile picture, that's a red flag. If someone is actually eating at 12 different restaurants a week and leaving reviews for all of them, they're either going through a really rough time in their personal life or it's a fake account. Finally, keep an eye out for the stars themselves. If a place has all five stars, there's a good chance they're not only fake but also that they suck at this.

The closest I've ever come to getting outed was the time I had to write a review of a restaurant's buffalo chicken pizza -- specifically mentioning how great it was that this joint used barbecue sauce instead of pizza sauce. What a revelation!

Businesses often go into review sections with the sole intention of promoting something. If you see a dozen reviews in a row mentioning the same product or service, there's a good chance that the place paid for those reviews, trying to hype their new buffalo chicken milkshake ("It's got barbecue sauce instead of milk!") or something. But every single other review was about how awful that particular pizza was. It's highly unlikely that I was just a giant fan of food poisoning, so people caught on, and I panicked when folks started asking if I was a plant. I've seen other paid reviewers get banned for less than that.

Related: Brands ... Leave The Slacktivism To Your Personal Accounts

I tried to skate under the radar: Most of my reviews were four-star, with some threes and fives mixed in for good measure. Algorithms like the ones Yelp and Google use to sniff out fake reviewers have a hard time finding me, and that's something that took a while to build up. Leaving an excessively bad review just for a quick $20 might set them on my accounts, and then it's months of work down the crapper. Right next to that free salad and "armload" of Chinese food.

Evan V. Symon is an interviewer, writer, and interview finder guy for the PE team at Cracked. Have an awesome job/experience you would like to tell us about? Hit us up at tips@cracked.com today!

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