When I was a child, no one could argue that I was not provided for. My family was incredibly wealthy, and I wanted for nothing. Life was good...for a time. Then, when I was eight, my parents and I were walking home from a late showing of Zorro when we were robbed at gun point and my parents were murdered. That criminal made me feel so powerless, and he took my loving parents away from me...and it was then that I vowed to seek justice for the rest of my life. After years of hard training and complete dedication, I have become a symbol that all criminals fear. But even I need to relax now and again, and to lighten up my life of terrorizing street thugs, I often turn to this site's wonderful, high brow comedy.

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