I was cloned by a rare mix of Axl Rose's DNA, Patrick Star's sperm, and Molly Ringwald's boogers. (It was one of those crazy Hollywood parties, you know how it is.) After being raised in a lab by Dr.Kiln from Clayfighter, I escaped from my homeland of Britain to the far off snow covered land of Canada. I had to trade my Sex Pistols and Clockwork Orange for Avril Lagvine and Terrance and Philip. It was hard, but I finally had my freedom. I attended school in Canada, and I actually did so well in my classes that the other students tried to trap me at the bottom of a good, out of jealousy. (If you have god grammer like i do, youll get that jojke.) I was often made fun of in school for my Smart-Assiness and constant pop culture references, and it eventually because so tiresome that I buried myself in the basement of my igloo. From there, I used my computer to discover the world of of the internet. Since that day, I have dedicated my life to voicing my opinion to people who don't care, insulting people I don't know, and using Cracked to bring laughter to people who, just like me, have nothing better to do.

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