Watching you from a peephole in another dimension. I've seen the vile, disgusting things you do to your squishy pieces... and I'm telling Mom!

Real Name:
Buttress Q. Chocolate, Esq., PhD/D.D.S.
Member Since:
November 12, 2010

About Me

Product Description:

Take all the clarity and brilliance of a full size ButtChocolate and put it in the palm of your hand with this new, slightly improved portable model. The new, slimmer design allows for easier control while still allowing maximum flexibility and resilience. That's because we built ButtChocolate on a robust framework that supports full compatibility with other systems, but doesn't sacrifice the original mesquite flavor, or that signature *crunch* you've come to love. Forged in the Himalayas by genuine Appalachian steel smiths from the Andes, and then hand woven into intricate patterns designed to match even the most problematic complexions, you'll see a difference after only a few days of using ButtChocolate. Each piece in the full collection is hand numbered and accompanied by a certificate of authenticity, and is guaranteed only to rise in value. Available in rose, fuschia, coral, salmon, pink, and harmony. Sizes S, M, L, XL, and CFIMFF (Can't Fit In My Ford Festiva). Do not take internally, unless you're into that sort of thing. Not available in all states, only as a gas or solid.

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