We've all been there; you hear about a movie coming out that piques your interest, so you watch the trailer to see if it looks as interesting as it sounds. But instead of a bite-sized nugget to whet your appetite, you are force-fed the entire plot. 

Learning your lesson, you avoid trailers. “They spoil too much,” you say, the way a child might bubble out some half-intelligible coos, and instead only allow an upcoming film to advertise to you by way of its poster. It's a two-dimensional, motionless image; surely now you're safe from spoilers.

You fool. You complete moron. Perhaps the safety of colorful children's toys is the only place left that can offer a respite from the onslaught of spoilers. Alas, the plastic betrays you as well. It's not fair, but neither is life, as you know, that thought ringing in your head as you inexorably march back to watching trailers.

Join the Cracked Movie Club

Expand your movie and TV brain--get the weekly Cracked Movie Club newsletter!

Tags

Forgot Password?