20 World Wide Festivals That Don't Make Sense to Us
If aliens ever land on Earth, the first thing they’ll ask isn’t “Take me to your leader.” It’s “Why are these people chasing cheese down a hill?” Humanity has turned confusion into a celebration, and we’ve done it with fireworks, livestock, and several gallons of questionable fluids.
From tomato wars in Spain to goat parades in Sweden, every country seems to have invented one weekend a year where logic just goes on vacation. You can’t even judge, because half of them involve free food or mild electrocution.
So here’s a global highlight reel of humanity’s most festive collective brain cramps. Bring sunscreen, tolerance, and maybe a poncho.
Up Helly Aa (Scotland, UK)
In January, Shetlanders march with torches, burn a Viking ship, and then go to work like that was fine.
Potato Festival (Ireland)
Come October, Irish towns celebrate the mighty spud with contests that somehow all end in eating.
Yawar Fiesta (Peru)
During July, bulls, villagers, and questionable tradition collide in a centuries-old test of endurance and judgment.
Holi Festival (India)
March erupts in clouds of color, joy, and dyed hair that survives until the next monsoon.
Fête du Poinçon (France)
When September rolls in, locals toss hot peppers at each other and call it bonding through pain.
Guelaguetza (Mexico)
July in Oaxaca features masked dancers playing demons under a sun hot enough to join the cast.
Burning Man (Nevada, USA)
Late August sees a temporary city rise from the desert, burn itself down, and post about it online.
Great Tug-of-War of Naha (Okinawa, Japan)
Every October, tens of thousands pull a 40-ton, 200-meter rope made of straw, proving that Okinawa takes “team building” very seriously.
Krampuslauf (Germany/Austria)
By December, Alpine streets fill with horned monsters chasing children while parents film it like it’s festive.
Testy Festy (Montana, USA)
Each August, Montanans gather to deep-fry bull testicles, drink heavily, and question what counts as local cuisine.
Battle of the Oranges (Italy)
February transforms Ivrea into an orange-scented battleground where history class meets fruit salad.
Boryeong Mud Festival (South Korea)
When July hits, entire beaches turn into mud-filled playgrounds where skincare meets full-contact chaos.
Nalukataq Whale Festival (Alaska, USA)
By June, Iñupiat communities celebrate whale season by tossing people into the air on sealskin trampolines.
Ati-Atihan Festival (Philippines)
For a week in January, soot-covered dancers pound drums through the streets of Kalibo until daylight forgets to show up.
Hadaka Matsuri (Japan)
In February, thousands of nearly naked men collide in icy darkness, fighting for a sacred stick that decides their luck.
Kubb Super Mario (Sweden)
On random summer weekends, Swedes mix Viking lawn games with cosplay and unearned competitiveness.
El Colacho (Spain)
June brings men dressed as the Devil vaulting over newborns in Castrillo de Murcia for divine insurance.
Thaipusam Cow Dung Festival (India)
When February arrives, villagers in Tamil Nadu settle disputes and sins by flinging cow dung for luck.
Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling (UK)
Down a steep Gloucestershire hill each May, people chase a 4-kilo cheese until gravity wins.
La Tomatina (Spain)
Buñol spends August turning its streets into a red river of smashed tomatoes and confused tourists.
