The Silliest Inventions To Ever Receive A Patent
Boredom and bureaucracy can combine to produce the strangest patents imaginable. Deep in the US Patent archives, inventors have turned the silliest ideas into official creations. Shoes that sprinkle perfume, hats that double as bird feeders, and gloves that hold your coffee are just the beginning of this absurd world.
These inventions are hilariously impractical yet undeniably creative. Devices that toast bread while brushing your teeth or chairs that rotate automatically to follow the sun reveal that human imagination sometimes goes gloriously overboard.
Get ready to laugh, cringe, and marvel. These are the silliest inventions ever legally protected, proving ambition can be wildly ridiculous.
Beerbrella (2003)
Keep your brew protected from the sun with this tiny umbrella that lets your beer lounge like royalty.
Moustache Guard (1876)
Keep your whiskers dry with this metal lip shield; gentlemanly dignity meets awkward facial armor.
Centrifugal Birth Machine (1963)
A spinning bed to “assist” childbirth; someone thought babies should launch like NASA projects.
Dog-Powered Velocipede (1870)
Dogs in cages running to move your bike, adorable energy slavery disguised as innovation.
Motorized Ice Cream Cone (1999)
Because rotating your wrist was too exhausting, this gadget spins your cone for maximum lazy dessert enjoyment.
Flatulence Deodorizer (1999)
Science meets embarrassment with this patch that sticks to your underwear and politely filters your bad decisions.
Banana Suitcase (2005)
Carry lunch in potassium-packed style, because fruit deserves VIP travel treatment.
Anti-Eating Face Mask (1982)
Hang it over your mouth and hope temptation forgets you exist; dieting gets awkwardly literal.
Ice Cream Cone Filler (1913)
Someone patented a device to fill ice cream cones, proving that even dessert needs bureaucratic innovation.
Kissing Shield (1998)
Romance meets hygiene, with lips protected but hearts free to flutter dangerously.
Greenhouse Helmet (1986)
Tiny plants sprout above your head; a walking forest that delivers oxygen and odd looks.
Stud Spectacles (2003)
Piercings and glasses combine mid-face in a metal pain you can wear with pride.
Shower Head Phone (2008)
Sing, gossip, and multitask as soap suds collide with a surprisingly productive conference call.
Wearable Pet Display (1999)
Hamsters on your chest? Fur meets fashion, proving accessories can be hilariously alive.
Snake Walking System (2002)
Leashes tame slithering chaos, turning serpents into parade-ready pets that are finally adorable.
Bird Diaper (1999)
Ever seen a pigeon wearing a tiny diaper? Now, cleanliness meets flight in style.
Saluting Device (1896)
Your hat tips itself, combining laziness and etiquette in a mechanically absurd bow.
Rocking Bathtub (1900)
Bath time meets motion sickness, but some people swear the rocking makes relaxation revolutionary.
Rodent Blaster (1882)
A tiny cowboy shoots rodents mid-emergence; it’s hilariously overkill for pest control.
Casket with Bell (1868)
Sometimes the dead aren’t ready to rest, so a bell lets them RSVP from the afterlife politely.
