12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

Dwyane Wade joins an unfortunate ring of ‘honor’
12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

If youre looking to portray anyone in art, its a good idea to make sure your version isnt insulting. When youre working in sculpture, and the art youre creating is meant to be a way for that person to be remembered forever? You want to make sure its an image of them they want people of the future looking at. 

Unfortunately, sometimes the bronze or stone isnt that kind.

Dwyane Wade

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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The latest ignominious addition to the Mount Rushmore of terrible sculpted resemblances is Dwyane Wades. Professional athletes are muscular, but that muscle mass isnt focused entirely in their jaw.

Lucille Ball

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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No one who truly loved Lucy would make her look like a vengeful ghost from an abandoned mental hospital.

Cristiano Ronaldo

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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Maybe, before you get to work on the details, take a couple steps back and make sure that the pieces are all in the right place.

James Dean

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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It can be hard to make metal eyes look lively. The solution is definitely not leaving them out entirely, making it look like you bronzed a Halloween mask.

Oscar Wilde

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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Im sure theres some statement or artistic reasoning behind them making Oscar Wilde out of… seemingly night crawlers? Unfortunately, I have no idea what it is.

Oscar Wilde (Again)

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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The guy truly cant be that hard to portray. All you had to do was beat the living seaweed creature version, and instead, you made him look hornier than any of Earths creatures have ever been.

Melania Trump

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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“When do you think youll be done? Oh, you are done. Hmm.”

Steve Irwin

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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The wonky face on the beloved Crocodile Hunter isnt great, but to do the same thing to his kids? Someone stop this sculptor before he creates a nightmare version of another family.

Michael Jackson

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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Michael Jackson had multiple iconic looks. I do not remember the one where he was a particularly slender zombie.

Nefertiti

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

X/hamedezzeldin

You think pissing off a celebrity is bad? Try pissing off an entire country by portraying what was supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in Egyptian history as what looks like a repurposed Marge Simpson statue.

Christ the Redeemer

12 Horrible Statues That Sure Don’t Flatter Their Subjects

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Not bad, per se, but in a bit of a “never unsee” moment, its been pointed out that he doesnt seem to have any beard markings. Just the kind of massive, superhero chin that could compress coal into diamonds.

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